Chrono Trigger Screenplay (Part One)

[GenesisOne]

Update:  On second thought, I'm going to re-attach the newly updated screenplay with each new post instead of keeping it in the first post.  That way, it can be read right away.

So, here it is once again.  Pardon the dust.

[Boo the Gentleman Caller]

Downloaded it, but won't be able to pour over it until later... Looking forward to it, comrade!

[GenesisOne]

You won't be disappointed.

At least, I hope not.

Man, they don't know how hard it is to write a screenplay.

[Mr Bekkler]

Some constructive criticism:

There were two small things I didn't like much, although out of everything you've got so far, these are the only two suggestions I have. Everything else is wonderfully adapted and easy to visualize.

I expected Taban to be a bit more eccentric, more of a showman. Similar to Doc Brown, I guess. I was only slightly disappointed that he didn't hit the telepod with his hammer and shout "More Power!" the first time it's turned on.

Also there's one exchange of lines that irks me when Marle and Crono talk about how well Crono is built.
After she says "You're a swordsman?" or something to that extent, you could easily skip the muscle talk and go straight to Crono's reply, which was something along the lines of "We just met today. There's a lot we don't know about each other."

I'm on a work computer so I can't open the pdf here but that's to the best of my memory.

[GenesisOne]

Well, I did try the carnival barker approach to Taban's demonstration of the Telepod.  I never pictured him as eccentric, though his personality is open to interpretation. I wouldn't know how to improve his lines or posturing to match what every reader out there sees him as.

As for the hammer and the "More Power!" line, that just seemed like overdoing his demeanor to the point of being comical (especially for a serious demonstration of new technology).

Finally, I agree.  I can do without the muscle talk, leave it at the "We just met today" bit, and continue from there.  The next update will include this modification.

Thanks to all who bring forth constructive criticism.  This script needs to be bullet-proof if it ever wishes to see the light of day... or Squeenix and some high-profile literary agency.