Pokemon

[Romana]

I ripped off ZeaLitY's Chrono Trigger fanboys thread's style in response to the waves of people who won't shut up about a Gold & Silver remake simply because "Johto was mentioned in Diamond & Pearl" and "I can't be bothered buying a £2 GS copy on ebay". Thus I made the following.

So there's this idea there'll be a Gold & Silver remake 'cause Johto was mentioned briefly in Diamond & Pearl. WELL GUESS WHAT GUYS HERE'S WHAT YOU WANT

POKEMON PISSGOLD & TUNASILVER

[game begins, professor Elm appears]
ELM: lol hi remember me
HELL YEAH WE DO IT'S ONLY PROFESSOR ELM!

[Elm releases a Wooper from a Pokeball]
ELM: hahaha that's awesome right? A JOHTO pokemon!
THIS GAME ROCKS ALREADY

[player is given two choices, 'boy' and 'boy']
YEAH FUCK CRYSTAL GOLD & SILVER DIDN'T HAVE PLAYABLE WOMEN

[player chooses name and appears in their room in NEWBARK TOWN]
WOO NEWBARK TOWN IT'S PALLET TOWN ON DRUGS OR SOMETHING

[player walks downstairs, MOM approaches]
MOM: herez your pokegear
AWESOME A POKEGEAR THATS THE THING THAT LETS YOU LISTEN TO FUCKING /RADIO/, BITCHES
MOM: Oh yeah don't forget I can save your money!
Gasp! Just like in the ORIGINAL! This sure is a remake alright!

[player heads to ELM'S LAB... WITHOUT RUNNING SHOES!]
SCREW RUNNING GOLD & SILVER DIDN'T HAVE THAT SHIT

[??? RIVAL GUY is staring through the LAB window]
???: fuk off
[player is kicked a mile back and suffers a broken leg]
AWESOME HE'S STILL A GRUMPY DOUCHE FUCK YEAH SILVER IS AWESOME

[player enters ELM'S LAB]
ELM: Mr Pokemon says he has a new discovery that isn't a lie this time!
OH THAT MR POKEMON ALWAYS SUCH A CARD
ELM: Take a Pokemon with you!
[player chooses from Chikorita, Cyndaquil, Totodile]
JOHTO STARTERS SWEET

[player heads to CHERRYGROVE CITY, random battle starts and a wild HOOT-HOOT appears!]
HOOT-HOOT: hoot hoot
WOO NIGHT EXCLUSIVE POKEMON FUCK YEAH JOHTO

[player reaches MR POKEMON's house and is greeted by OAK]
OAK: WOW YOU'RE SO AWESOME HAVE A POKEDEX
AWESOME
OAK IS SO WIN
HE SEES YOUR POTENTIAL FROM FUCKING HOURS AWAY
[player gets MYSTERY EGG]
MR POKEMON: pokemon lay eggz i just discovered it
DAMN STRAIGHT
FUCK LATER INSTALLMENTS BREEDING BELONGS TO JOHTO YOU FUCKS

[player returns to CHERRYGROVE CITY and SILVER appears]
???: i will beet u........
WOW HE'S EVEN STILL CALLED A BUNCH OF QUESTION MARKS I WONDER IF THAT'S HIS CANON REMAKE NAME
AND LOOK AT ALL THOSE FULL STOPS THE MAN IS A FUCKING ANGTSY WALKING BARREL OF AWESOME

[player beats ??? and proceeds to conquer the rest of the game with a party that includes an overleveled Typhlosion and red Gyarados]
[RED appears and congratulates the player for being awesome]
RED: im not ash you douchebags
WHAT WAS THAT RED WE DIDN'T HEAR YOU YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A SILENT PROTAGONIST
RED: ................
THATS BETTER
HELL YEAH RED WOOOOOOOO

[CELEBI appears]
CELEBI: you're da best player ever!
DAMN STRAIGHT I AM
[player captures CELEBI then releases it]
FUCK FAIRYZ IM THE EMBODIMENT OF MASCULINITY

[game credits roll]
MOTHAFUCKIN' JOHTO, FUCK YEAH!

[Delta Dragon]

[player is given two choices, 'boy' and 'boy']
YEAH FUCK CRYSTAL GOLD & SILVER DIDN'T HAVE PLAYABLE WOMEN

In Crystal you could.

[Romana]

[player is given two choices, 'boy' and 'boy']
YEAH FUCK CRYSTAL GOLD & SILVER DIDN'T HAVE PLAYABLE WOMEN

In Crystal you could.

Sorry, that's "Fuck Crystal! Gold & Silver didn't have playable women!"

[teaflower]

A Johto remake? What?
Personally, Crystal was as far as I got. There's a funny story behind my copy of Crystal. It was Christmas and I told my mom and dad, "I want Pokemon Crystal." My mom told my dad, "Don't get Shannon Pokemon Crystal. I'm getting that." Hey, guess what he did. I opened up his present and it's Crystal. "OH MY GOD CRYSTAL!!!" So my mom goes into her room and fixes up the nametag and hands the box to my sister. She opens it up and she's like, "OH MY GOD CRYSTAL!!!"

I played Sapphire, but my foster sister stole it. Either that, or it's in a destroyed couch. My FireRed is lost. I have SEEN Diamond played. It is too slow. The attacks. The walking and running.
Everything was better in Blue! <- Linky!

[Romana]

Personally, Crystal was as far as I got. There's a funny story behind my copy of Crystal. It was Christmas and I told my mom and dad, "I want Pokemon Crystal." My mom told my dad, "Don't get Shannon Pokemon Crystal. I'm getting that." Hey, guess what he did. I opened up his present and it's Crystal. "OH MY GOD CRYSTAL!!!" So my mom goes into her room and fixes up the nametag and hands the box to my sister. She opens it up and she's like, "OH MY GOD CRYSTAL!!!"

What the hell? That's just frigging cruel.

Everything was better in Blue! <- Linky!

Good old glitches... Missingno. had such a shitload of myths surrounding it, e.g. "A Nintendo employee with a grudge made it!", "It's the god of Pokemon!", "It's a space virus that fell to earth!" etc. Although the last has been done by Deoxys. And Lavos. And Jenova.

Getting sliiiightly annoyed with Platinum lately. Up to the 4th Elite Four member, a Psychic user, Lucian. I managed to get to his last monster, but it turned into a stalling match - I was just spamming Revives over and over while my Pokemon were being wiped out. So it was like "1 Pokemon left, Revive, Psychic, KO, 1 Pokemon left, Revive, Psychic, KO"... repeat. Eventually gave in and had to lose. Lacking Dark or Bug moves really sucks.

For anyone else who happens to play Platinum, the Rotom event has been taken down and will resume... January through March, I think?

[teaflower]

What's so cruel about that? My dad being a bastard?
I'm seriously debating using Missingno. in my game. You see, my team of Weepinbell, Jolteon, Fearow, Charizard, Gyarados, and Mew is underleveled. We just beat the Elite Four and the highest level was to my Mew and Gyarados at level 43. The others are at level 42. I want to glitch me up some Rare Candies and a bunch of Master Balls. We have, like 60 Pokemon caught.

[Romana]

What's so cruel about that? My dad being a bastard?

Yup.

I'm seriously debating using Missingno. in my game. You see, my team of Weepinbell, Jolteon, Fearow, Charizard, Gyarados, and Mew is underleveled. We just beat the Elite Four and the highest level was to my Mew and Gyarados at level 43. The others are at level 42. I want to glitch me up some Rare Candies and a bunch of Master Balls. We have, like 60 Pokemon caught.

Hm... There's some good versions of Missingno. (I think there are 6 in all) you can use. I'm not sure of it myself, all I know is one evolves into Kanghaskhan and another into Rhydon. There are a few guides to it on the net, though.

I'm assuming you caught Mew via the Fly/Slowpoke kid Mew glitch?

[Delta Dragon]

It's been so long since I used legendaries in my party.  I think the last time was when I was borrowing my friends Saphire and I would overuse Kyogre.

[teaflower]

Actually, I used the 'Catch an Abra, catch a Bellsprout/Oddish, teach it Sleep Powder, Teleport, first trainer in Misty's gym' thing. Then, I used the similar 'Catch an Abra, catch a Bellsprout/Oddish, teach it Sleep Powder, Teleport, kid with a Slowpoke' thing. Did you know that if you do the first one and talk to Joy to get your Pokemon healed up, you get a bit of dialogue from one of the trainers on Nugget Bridge?

It's not that I want to catch it. God, no! I refuse to catch those things. I want my Masterballs and my Rare Candies. My fear of that stems from my amazing Pokemon Red game getting a little water in the cartridge or something. My file was gone forever and ever. And then it wouldn't save. I always thought that it was my brother using Missingno. in his Blue game to level up my Raichu, which, at the time, was a Pikachu.

[Darth Magus]

I love Pocket Monsters, but unless they mix up the formula a bit or get around to making that fabled Johto Remake, I might stop buying the games after Plantinum. 

My favorite Pokemon game of all time is my modified version of Fire Red (I OWN THE GAME AND HACKED MY OWN BACKUP YOU CANT SUE ME!!!!) with all 386 pokemon available in the wild.  Did you know that I caught Groudon in a grass patch on Five Island?  w@@t!  I hacked Emerald in a similar way (I OWN THAT TOO DONT SUE ME!!!), plus the legendary birds are the starters in that hack.  Articuno, I Choose You!!!

Did anyone mention PokeComunity yet?  That site gave me the idea.

[Delta Dragon]

Have any of you ever managed to get to Glitch city on Blue and Red?

[teaflower]

I have, actually. It was really creepy and I don't want to go back there.

[Delta Dragon]

I went there once on Blue and I don't think I ever went back. 

[teaflower]

I did it on a bus a couple of times to demonstrate to my good friend Parker. He was like, "Whoa! Cool."

... Parker doesn't talk much.

[Darth Magus]

I used to have a device called the "Brainboy" or "Monster Brain" (there were a bunch of them, going by both names) which was essentially a Gameshark without codes, designed specifically to hack pokemon.  There were versions for each generation, until they finally made a version that works with all the games from Red to Crystal.

One time I used it to delete all pokemon from my party and I got into a battle.  It was the weirdest battle of my entire life as a Trainer.  I had pixelated ghostish type messed up versions of the pokemon I had deleted, and when I won, I ended up in a long dock, basically Glitch Harbor.  I've also been to the real Glitch City, and done the Mew trick. 

Ah, those were the days...