This thread hasn't been the easiest to make sense of. In this reply I'm going to be focusing mostly on Z's posts. I hope I can offer some perspective on some of his points while addressing something which he's been strangely adverse to perceiving as valuable, and on that note: Z, I find it interesting and a little troubling that you do not value being thankful for fortunate circumstances which are beyond your control, because I find that ability to be indicative of good mental health. Likewise, you seem to be neglecting unfortunate happenstance circumstances and events as potential hurdles and focusing mostly on personal failures as things which must be overcome. This seems strange to me, because experientially I find that people are often troubled much more by unfortunate circumstances and events beyond their control.
We're all born into situations which we could not have chosen for ourselves. Had many been able to choose, they would not have chosen the circumstances into which they'd been born. I imagine that most people, having the knowledge that comes with a few decades of life, would be tempted to at least tweak a couple of factors in said circumstances. True, "nothing" in particular set any one of us up to live the lives we are living, but to neglect the fortune or misfortune of our happenstance origins is devaluing at best, and dangerous at worst. To not cultivate a healthy set of emotions regarding those origins sets us up for disaster, and possibly others along with us, if we're to act in destructive denial of our pasts.
Too many times I've heard people discount the gravity others' unfortunate origins in light of their own, stating that others have no excuse for not overcoming the setbacks of that misfortune because they imagine themselves to be a kind of living proof that such misfortune can be easily shrugged off. I'm usually so taken aback by these kinds of statements that I'm speechless. I've yet to actually retort such a statement, but if I could go back in time to one of these incidences in order to have the opportunity for retort, I'd probably say something along the lines of, "How dare you? How dare you cast off the perspective of just how amazing it is that you were able to rise above that misfortune? And how dare you distance yourself from and act so callously towards people whom you may be able to offer some helpful advice?"
I understand why people who have had terrible experiences in their lives would want to distance themselves from such probable traumas and move on. But I think that too many do so at the cost of coming to a clear understanding of just how much a fundamental part of themselves these past events and circumstances are. That's at least part of what you are getting at, right Z? People focus on drowning out the negative to a point where it actually becomes more of a detriment to them. They lose focus, they become out of touch, and their potential and their capacity for humanity suffer for it. (This didn't seem to be a part of Z's original point, but I had to throw it in. -->) When they act out of latent pain or misunderstanding down the line, they cannot understand why they do, and they're liable to make the same mistakes again because of their disconnection. (More in line with Z. -->) If they've failed in some endeavor and do not examine their failure closely enough, they'll likely doom themselves to failure again.
And, just as negative circumstances demand a healthy emotional grasp and understanding, so too do positive circumstances demand a healthy emotional grasp understanding. I always enjoy hearing Saj's perspective on just how fortunate we are. Hah, for fuck's sakes we are literate! In some parts of the world, literacy is scarce. In others, women and girls must be taught to read or write at great risk in underground schools. Sure, it is happenstance that we're able to read and write, but think of all of the potential doors it opens for us to brighten and broaden our perspective. I would not be able to experience the joy of tearing up at the end of Contact, and reflecting on the kinds of wonderful dreams and emotions that amazing work of fiction inspires within me had I not been taught to read as a child. I would not be able to read the journal of an old correspondent's trip to Africa and gain greater perspective were it not for being literate.
As much as amazing advancements such as literacy offer us great potential for development, there are so many much more fundamental aspects of human existence which can do the same for us, none of which we could have ever possibly chosen for ourselves. They were and are as much our decisions as the place in which and the family to which we were born, and oftentimes we do not even think of them as separate in any way from our selves, our persons, because they're so closely connected with us. We've had to learn to coordinate them in almost the same way we once had to learn to stand on our two feet. These aspects of our existence are the stuff of our elaborate minds, our emotions, our capacity for abstract thinking and logic, our ability to dream, to reminisce, to appreciate, to empathize, and I could go on and on. You yourself mention this with such fervor, Z. "To possess something the dead, incalculable expanses of the infinite universe cannot even dream of having! Consciousness!! The universe doesn't even know it exists; we are the observers; the creators; the doers; the dreamers; the great potentates of existence! Ah, humanity!"
I think part of becoming an illuminated individual is being able to come to a place where we can appreciate and be thankful for who we are, what we are, and where we are. Perhaps to do so is to essentially offer thanks to something we cannot put a face on or imagine a motive for, but I do not see anything wrong with that. In fact, I think that our ability to do such is a fascinating and remarkable ability of our species; to be able to fathom the deep and great mystery from which we emerge, and to be able to relate to it on such a level.
Still, I haven't addressed the issue of the phrase "count your blessings" itself. My feelings about the phrase are actually somewhat in line with yours, Z, in that it can actually devalue one's experiences, but I think for slightly different reasons. To me, the phrase reduces the richness of any one of our experiences to mere number, a tally mark, and thereby does render that experience itself in a way that is both shallow and somewhat confusing. I think that the implication of the phrase, at least on some level, is that one should count his or her blessings and compare their multitude with his or her misfortunes, and it carries the assumption that the number of blessings that one would count would so dwarf the number of misfortunes that the person doing the counting may feel silly about focusing on any particular misfortune that is troubling them. Also, akin to Z's feelings, I find that the word "blessings" can often seem loaded religiously, and thus produce, instead of gratitude, a feeling of being indebted to a usually less-than-ideal fictional almighty figurehead. In light of this, I think that "counting one's blessings", if done improperly, could produce more terrible results than the feeling of a safe-harbor. Indeed, it could produce feelings of unworthiness and denial.
Z revisits what I feel is a very important point in his last post, and I think this is really the core of his message in this thread. It is important that we do not get "bogged down" in the wonders of the moment and neglect the possibilities of the future. I think that this can be a temptation for people who have suffered setbacks because of personal failures, and perhaps one can develop a dependence on this feeling of wonderment which can keep them from achieving their potential. If we play our cards right, then the future is where it is at, as we have the potential to create a future so grand that perhaps our present dreams cannot do it justice. For that reminder, Z, you have my gratitude.
(Edited for clarity on one point.)
