I believe after being unbanned due to a misunderstanding, I still threw a tantrum about having been in the first place. It's embarrassing to think as a then-22 year old, that was how I acted, even at that age.
To be honest, I don't remember you ever being banned. It must not have been that serious, if that's any peace of mind.
I still have social issues due to my being on the spectrum, but I've been trying my best to take accountability of any mistakes I've made. I used to use my Asperger's as a crutch. I still bring it up, but in the sense that I'm trying my best, but I'm slower than the rest.
But on the spectrum or not, we all mess up from time-to-time; the phrase "
to err is human" comes to mind. And to be honest, we often beat ourselves up much more than anyone else possibly could. I know I still cringe and get uncomfortable thinking back on some of my IRL behaviors in my late teens and early-twenties, and I'm not living with any form of autism on the spectrum. I think many people - at least those capable of reflection - feel similarly, haha...
I recently got interviewed on a podcast. Forgive the stuttering ...
I don't have time to listen to the whole interview, but I did listen to the first ten minutes or so and didn't even notice any stuttering. It sounded to me like normal conversation - any "stuttering" was moreso you being distracted by Discord notifications, hahaha!
All in all, I'm glad you're finding your voice and identity. I hope you're having fun, because that's equally important. I have heard of multiple actors who overcome shyness or other personal limitations through acting, as they get to become another person (in a way) through the acting - I imagine vtubing would be similar.
I don't watch Twitch, but did give you a Youtube sub. I'll take special care to watch any videos you post.
