RICK was amazing back then; he hung out on the forums and IRC channel. "OH OK!!" originates from him. This was basically Chrono Comix before Chrono Comix. This is definitely a product of its time, but as a foundational part of the Compendium's humor, I have to get it out there.
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LAVOS? HES LIKE A BIG GIANT GOOMBA WHO SPROUTS FROM THE GROUND AND SHOOTS SPORES AND POLLEN AND LOTS OF CRUD INTO THE AIR< CAUSING LOTS OF DEAD PEOPLE!!1
ROBO< HES A ROBOT AND BECAME A FARMER< LIKE FARMER BROWN< I DONO IF FARMER BROWN LOOKED LIKE A ROBOT BUT ROBO SURE DUZ!!1 NEWAY< ROBO LIKE TURNED SUMTING DED INTO SUMTING ALIVE!11 HE PLANTED PLANTS AND TREEZ AND CRUD> SO MEBBE HE IZ THE TRU BADGUY!1 CUZ HE PLANTED LAVOS WHEN LAVOS WUTZ A YOUNG POD AND WATARED HIM EVERYDAY SO THAT LAVOS CUD GROW BIG AND STRONG>
SO LIKE ROBO IZ A BAD GUY AND CRUD< BUT NO WAIT< HES A ROBOT AND ROBOTS AREN”T BAD RITE< CUZ LIKE HE DIDN”T PROGRAMME HIMSELF< LUCCA DID!1 SO THRU THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION AND CRUD< THAT MAKES LUCCA EV0L!
HOLY CRAP< BUT SHES WIF THE GOOD GUYS THRUOUT THE GAME< RITE< SO MEBBE SHES NOT EV0L< IDONO>
NOW I DONO WUT THE WERD “ENTITIE” MEANS< BUT IF I BREAK IT DOWN AND USE METACONITION< I DONO WUT THAT WERD MEANS BUT MY TEACHER SAID THAT ONE DAY IN CLASS< AND PRETEND THAT I AM A POLICEMAN< I CAN CUM UP WIF SUM CONCLUSIONS ABOUT THIS ENTITIE< WUTEVER THAT MEANS
ENT- K< SO LIKE ENT< THAT’S LIKE CLOSE 2 ANT SO IT MUST BE SMALL AND BE ABLE 2 LIFT 10 TIEMS ITS ONLY BODY WEIGHT!1 SO THIS ENTITIE MUST BE VARY STRONG IN SUMWAY RITE?
-TIT- REPRESENTS A PART OF THE HUMAN ANATOMIE< ESPECIALLY GIRL ANATOMIE< SUM GIRLS HAVE LARGE TITS< WHICH I LIKE VARY MUCH
-TIE - UM< TIE AS IN TIE THINGS 2GETHER< U NO? SO IF WE CAN LIKE TIE ONE THING 2 ANOTHAR THING< THEY WILL BE ONE THING< RITE??
SO LIKE< NOW THAT I BROKE DOWN THE WERD ENTITIE< WHICH I HAVE NO IDEAR WUT IT MEANS< ITS TIEM 2 PUT ON MY POLICEMAN UNIFORM>>
OK< IMMA POLICEMAN
SO LIKE I ENFORCE THE LAW< RITE? AND LIKE< THIS ENTITIE BREAKS THE LAW CUZ IT MAKES TIME TRAVEL GATES< RIGHT? AND THAT’S BREAKING SUM SORT OF LAWS< LIKE UM METAPHYSICAL LAWS AND CRUD< I DONO< BUT LIKE THE GATES ARE AGAINST THE LAW>
NOW BECUZ I HAVE 3 CLUES 2 WERK WITH< I CAN FIGURE OUT WHO THE ENTITIE IZ!!1
SO LIKE SUM1 SMALL THAT I NO WOULD BE MY FRAND JONNY< BUT JONNY IZN”T IN THE GAYME SO THAT REMOVES HIM FROM THE LIST OF SUSPECTS< HOWEVAR< WUT ABOUT LUCCA!1 SHES SMALL RITE? WELL MEBBE NOT BUT LETS PRETEND SHE IZ< SHE DEFINATLEY IZN”T FAT SO LIKE SHE CAN”T BE BIG AND CRUD>
OK< MOVING ON< TIT< WELL LUCCA HAS TITS!!1
OK NEXT WE HAVE TIE< SO LIKE WE ALRADY ESTABLISHED THAT LUCCA IZ EV0L< RITE? AND LIKE U REMEMBAR WHEN I SED THERE R TIES AND CRUD< WELL WUT IF WE TIE SUMTING GEWD 2 SUMTING BAD?? WE”D GET LUCCA IN THIS CASE< RITE? OF COURSE!
SO 2 SOLVE THIS MYSTERIE< LUCCA IZ THE ENTITIE !!!11
