Well, you said it needed a lot of hatin' and that it deserved to look stupid. What else am I supposed to think?
But anyway, let's try our beloved Chrono Trigger:
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OK, so here's the Earth. Dang, that is a sweet Earth you might say. ROUND! But anyway, ruling out the sun exploding, some huge meteor's going to become crashed into us except that it's not a meteor, it's a d00d with ZOMGSPIEKS!!1! OK, so we've got Guardia, Porre, Medina, South Korea, and Zanzibar Land with magic users. We've got about three more than anybody else...whatever. So anyway, one day we decide that those Mystic sons of bitches are GOING DOWN! So we launch our magic missiles and shit, and they're like shit guys, the fire bolts are coming, fire our shit!
...but I am le tired!
Well have a nap, ZEN SUMMON ZE MAGUS!
So now we've got Gates opening to the past and humanity's like "fuck, we're dumbasses" and Porre's like WTF MATE? And now we fast forward into the future where we get full-on nuclear war and Lavos comes up from the Earth and tries to kill everyone; now everything's blowing up, the ozone layer's leaving, Final Fantasy VI is laughing at us and Jenova's like "well, fuck that." Now we've got Lavos ruling the world and puking out kids and Porre's still like WTF?
But they'll be dead soon. Fucking kangaroos.
But assuming none of that happens, Goku--I mean Crono will come and save us all from Lavos' fiery wrath with Luminaire-ha and everybody'll be like YAY! Then all we Texans have to be worried about is us getting swallowed up into a giant time gate, to go hang out with Star Trek. Japan can come too.
THE END!
