Topiary Seizures, or Theories That Make You Look Like the Alien Guy from History

[Manly Man]

As many of us know, TV Tropes has a section on their site for off-the-wall theorization called 'Wild Mass Guessing'. While there are times when some of us make jokes and come up with other silly ideas, that they aren't at least recorded somewhere is kind of sad, because some of them are at least very entertaining, even if they make little to no sense (no, Maggiekarp, Lucca is not aroused by the scent of roasting children).

To help solve this, instead of having to bother editing pages on TV Tropes, I figured that we should have a thread here to plop our wacky whimsies, and then discuss them, if we aren't too busy laughing at the absurdity of it all. Feel free to add what you like if you don't find anything that could spark a conversation for you.

To kick it off...

THEORY: CRONO IS LAVOS' SON

A little less than twenty years before the events of Chrono Trigger, Lavos detected the presence of a human woman in whom it saw unusual genes, and therefore a ton of untapped potential (Gina). Using a method similar to how it extracts DNA from humans, Lavos planted the seed inside her, hoping to create powerful offspring that would carry its DNA, but do so in a more practical and fast-paced manner than the millions upon millions of years it takes for its life cycle normally. Sure, it may have only been a thousand years or so, but humans can have a lot of babies in that time, and so Lavos considered this rather short-term project a worthwhile endeavor.

Supporting this theory is that the only thing spikier than Crono's hair is Lavos itself. As shown in Chrono Cross (Time Devourer) and Chrono Trigger DS (Dream Devourer), a side effect of elements of Lavoids and humans merging is having a distinct redness, cementing this theory.

Then again, it could just be that Crono's a Time Devourer all his own, but instead of having two separate parts, is a composite of the two. It would explain why he can beat Lavos on his own with a mop.

Thoughts, whether for my ideas, or ones of your own?

[Prince Janus]

THE NEXT CHRONO GAME WILL BE AN ALTERNATE CONTINUITY AND CHRONO CROSS NEVER HAPPENS

  Trigger essentially provides infinite continuity. Imagine every fanfic that was ever made, come to life.

     -Lucca and Glenn making out
     -Lucca and Magus making out
     -Crono and Magus making out
     -Frog and Magus making out
     -Ayla and the Alien enemy from the Black Omen making out
     -Schala is ok
     -Cyrus is ok
     -Azala is ok
     -Magus reunites with his Schala
     -Frog is Schala's brother
     -Gaspar and Epoch make out

     The list goes on and on. Some realities we'll just happily avoid, but some of the others are a total, definite "maybe". So far we've seen two paths. However, the divergence could come even earlier.

 For example, what *really* happens if you beat Lavos at the Ocean Palace? They wouldn't walk into a big staff party: Zeal would still be floating! Magus would still have all his power and could probably combine his power with everyone else's to get everyone out of the ocean palace, hell even Queen Zeal might have calmed down without Lavos. It's a massive shift in history with very happy endings for Zeal and Magus, and the hell of it is, it can TOTALLY HAPPEN IN THE GAME. You just never get to actually see it.

[maggiekarp]

If Schala was able to clone herself, she probably could have made a pendant just for Kid and passed a different one down the Guardia line. I call it my "a necklace is probably easier to make than a clone" theory

[Kodokami]

After Crono and co. defeat the Nu Guardian at the Lost Sanctum for the second time, Nu continues his training in the hopes of one day challenging them to a rematch. He trains for eons alongside the Reptites (who have evolved into Dragonians), eventually mastering control over the planet's life energy and becoming something very much unlike himself. Realizing his foes will never return, he opens a time gate to throw himself millions of years into the past. This becomes known as the first Time Crash. The resulting force of his Magic and his re-entry into space-time weaken Nu severely, so he falls into deep slumber to regain his strength.

Many adventures and video games later, however, and Nu is still defeated by his old rivals. He admits his defeat and resigns to the End of Time, where he resumes his original form and can watch over all of history as an observer.

 

[Manly Man]

Queen Zeal is yandere for the whole group

By the time you see her, Queen Zeal is already steeped in Lavos' energy, and as a result, is quite mad. However, there's a spark inside her that remains of her former self, which seeks freedom from Lavos, and sees the group as an opportunity to be severed from Lavos (most likely through death). Her mind, having two separate desires at once, blends the desperation of the half that wants to separate with the murderous tendencies that Lavos' energy inflicted her with into an obsession that's at least borderline sexual, and so she makes the clones in the Black Omen as idols, of a sort, of both hate and worship at the same time.

Helps to justify all of the Ayla/Zeal yuri that I find, at least.

[Manly Man]

New theory: Crono gains experience and power by devouring the sould of his enemies

Red hair and green eyes are two signs of gingerhood. All of the souls he steals turn into freckles, even if you can't see them, because he makes them all appear in places under his clothes, so as to prevent the rest of the party from knowing the truth.

[maggiekarp]

The population of El Nido is racially and culturally diverse because Belthesar specifically recruited scientists-of-color for Project Kid - he's a big ol' racist and thought removing them from the future would have less of an impact.

Masa, Mune, Doreen, and the Mammon Machine are all made from Dreamstone - fragments of Lavos's shell, as they are all used to commune with or control the power of Lavos. The Red Knife was originally intended to be used by Janus, but he rejected that specific power, so the "Demon Sword" Masamune is particularly effective against Magus because of that grudge and also seeks out any willful master it can, for good (Frog) or evil (Dalton). This could also tie in with a theme of working with one's own history (Lavos' influence on humanity) instead of trying to eradicate it (Cross Bad End).

The Einlanzer is a dumb idea and I hate it.

[Manly Man]

Magus was originally going to be a musician

When Janus first landed in the Middle Ages and convinced the Mystics that it was a bad idea to try and kill him, Slash and Flea kept trying to convince him to play drums (taking advantage of his deep, internal hatred of pretty much everything by letting him beat on something) and call him Roger, so that it would be thematically appropriate for their cover band, The Mystic Knights, to cover Black Sabbath (and Ozzy Osbourne), Guns 'n Roses, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and top it off with Queen. This proved to be a mistake when Janus kept setting the drums on fire or zapping the speaker system.