I've been skimming this thread (couldn't read the entire thing thoroughly in a sleep-deprived state, plus I only have a weekend to myself now that my projects are over, and the next call will be at my clients' office-time, Monday). And it just occurred to me:
Boo, you seem to feel that responsibility takes a lot out of a person -- and I really feel ya, despite the fact that I'm not yet a dad -- and that you still want to feel the thrill, the excitement, of creation and breaking through your barriers.
I need to remind you that the
Springtime of Youth was never just about zealousness, enthusiasm and short outbursts of determination (as usually portrayed in Naruto, or often in Gurren Lagann's
Row Row Fight The Powah). There's another factor that doesn't get mentioned which were the defining factors for characters like Rock Lee in Naruto that popularized the term: It's term persistence and dedication. That's why Rock Lee, despite having no talents, was still regarded as the
Genius of Hard Work.
The
Zeal only serves as a rallying cry to motivate, and that enthusiasm can expire pretty quick. But
dedication and persistence are stable, driven by sheer force of will to get things done and bring shit to life. It's not something that comes easy to a lot of people.
Especially not me. It's something I had to learn the hard way through life, when I started taking paid work as an artist, knowing full well that I owe it to my clients for trusting me with their precious money, time and opportunity.
If I've lost you, then let me get to my point: You still have it in you.
You seem to want to make a game, which you wanna take as a career option. Great news for you, here's a lot of engines (free of cost) available these days that weren't back in the old days. Depending on the programming / scripting language you want to master, there's likely an engine for that. Python is pretty useful, and
there are plenty of simple game engines that use it.
My pick, regardless of your interests?
I'd take Godot, because it looks pretty cool with great features. If you just wanna make games and nothing more, the native script engine will work fine. But if you want a career in programming, Godot can also use C#, which can be a boon for you if you choose to learn it.
I understand it's going to be hard to just "make your own game" since you have a family and kids and all. So don't think about some long-term project just yet. Learn this as just another toy for yourself. Take 20 mins every day and play around with it, see if you can make simple things work. Once you find yourself making things happen that you may not even have imagined before, before you know it, you will hit a wellspring of ideas that you never thought you had. And you can start small with a very simple game and, heck, even teach your kids how to make em! (I've seen lots of parents recently teach their kids to code, and that seems to be a great habit.)
Anywho, I won't take more of anybody's time if they're reading this. Ciao!
