Chrono Catastrophe Interview
Chrono Catastrophe is a loosely organized group of super-fans from all around the world. Raving and rabid for everything Chrono Trigger (or Cross, or Radical Dreamers, or the Jet Bike Special, or the Sateliview Music special, or the pre-release, or that sprite of Lucca in Xenogears). They meet on msn messenger to discuss the hot issues, and debate controversial and arcane Chrono lore.
Core members include; Jared, the leader and an all-American Chrono fanatic, his love for Magus is only exceeded by the size of his Inuyasha tee-shirt. Lee, the land of the rising sun has given us cutting edge electronics, hot (or Ah-tsu) school girls, and a man who’s sheer devotion to the Chrono series burns hotter than 5 Sun of Suns. Alicia (she insists upon the name “Kat” the few times she is able to conjugate a few words of intelligible English) Alicia may barely know where she is but her divining rod for all things Ka-why-ee is sharper than a razor that has been sharpened on a sharpener of razors! Lastly, James the new guy, luckily for James passion isn’t measured in years.
Recently I was lucky enough to sit in one their meeting and report all my Findings Back to you! Today’s topic is the origins of Lavos.
Jared: I hereby decree that this meeting of Chrono Catastrophe come to order!
Kat: Order! Dorder! Order! Dorder!
Lee: Today’s topic the origins of Lavos. I for one believe that it the physical manifestation of Chono’s sorrow and despair for being all alone in a world he doesn’t understand. First, the father (Lavos in the form of a meteor) crashing in the soft nurturing insides of his mother (The earth, See, Figure 1.1). Secondly, Lavos’s Birth, this touching scene shows Lavos escaping the confines of the prison that gave him life, screaming and kicking. Upset that his mother is unable cradle him he destroys all life in a very post-modernly erotic way (see figure 1.2) When Crono dies to Lavos he realizes that he was really just killing a part of himself…furthermore-
James: Wait, Is Lavos the girl with the blue hair? She seemed important…nah.
Kat: BLUE HAIR?! WHERE?!
Lee: After appearing as his mother Lavos final appears as his father (see figure 1.3)
Jared: Very Intriguing Lee, but my findings are very different. Lavos is OBVISOULY the 9th angel Kamiel from the legendary amine series Evangelion. My chart shows in plain English how this is so.
Lee: Absolutely amazing, your insight never fail to astound even me.
Jared: No, you are the true master.
Lee: Oh Please, No, you are the-wait, what is Kat doing to your chart?
Kat: KITTY KITTY KITTY
Jared: YOU MUST STOP THIS BEHAVIOR IMMEDIATELY, THE INTERNET IS NOT A TOY.
Kat: PREETY!
Lee: Kat!
James: hahaha. I liked Chrono Cross too.
That concludes this week’s sit in at the Chrono Catastrophe. Until next time!
-Zizzlebop
