Popular Games Explained in Thirty Seconds

[Hadriel]

In the spirit of the popular Book-A-Minute sketches comes this brief interpretation of Final Fantasy X.  Readers are encouraged to contribute their own Game-A-Minute sketches, because there aren't nearly enough of them.

Peter Griffin: *impersonating Meg* Hey! I'm Tidus! I'm in Zanarkand! I play blitzball!

Zanarkand Populace: Oh shit, Godzilla!

Tidus: Waah, I'm a thousand years in the future!

Yuna: Hi, I'm a hot summoner chick!

Tidus: Jackpot!  I'll hook up with you!

Auron: You know she dies at the end, right?

Tidus: ...on second thought, let's not go to Zanarkand.  It is a silly place.

Wakka: Oh snap, Yevon's a sham!  Let's do something else!

Lulu: I want to have your babies!

Wakka: *impersonating Cartman*  Sweet.

Jecht: hahaha emos lol

Tidus: STFU n00b!

Yuna: Yay! We beat Sin!

Tidus: Shit guys, I'm disappearing!

Rikku: Don't worry, there's always the sequel.

Tidus: That's not how this series works!

*Final Fantasy X-2 is released*

Tidus: Oh.

[Burning Zeppelin]

Absolutely hilarious. If you hadn't done FF10, I would of done it. Dang.

[Lord J Esq]

TETЯIS

Square: Oh shit! The L-Shaped Block is descending upon our fair city!
Line: Lezz scramble!!

♪♫♫     ♫♪     ♪♫♫♪♪♪♫ ♪♫♫     ♪...

[Exodus]

"Hey, it's a giant porcupine. Let's kill it."

"Okay."

END

[Burning Zeppelin]

MARIO:

Mushroom (Evil): Man those Italians piss me off with their snub accent and their cocky stride that makes them think they are kings of the hill!

Turtle: I agree! For the Italians bombed my home town of Nagasaki, started the Cold War and ate the entire Rawandan race!

Mushroom (Evil): ...

Turtle: Vin Diesel told me in his blog!

Mushroom (Evil): Yes...Well, why don't we kill that young chap who seems to be jumping on our children!

Turtle: Yes, those humans are so weak, that if we touch them, they die!

Mushroom (Evil): Oh my god! He is eating my cousin, the drug one!

Turtle: No!

Mushroom: Yes! He's growing! To stop the destruction of the world, we must kill him-

Turtle: Mario

Mushroom: Yes, Mario! His cousin, Wario! That weird guy Waluigi!

Turtle: Luigi?

Mushroom: No, no, WAluigi!

Turtle: ...

Mushroom: And that evil dinosaur monstrosity that they revived! Oh, and Uwe Boll

Meanwhile...
Mario: Damn, I payed that ho for three hours, and she left after 2!

Luigi: Yeah, I hate when that happens too

Mario: WTF! OMGWTFBBQ! YOU WERE WATCHING

Luigi: Yeah...

Mario: Oh...

Luigi: I believe she was kidnapped. Bowser no doubt! Or king koopa!

Mario (in an unbelievalby painful state down their): Damn it!

Luigi: You didn't need that mushroom, your penis is already MIGHTY big.

Mario: Look, this is disturbing. Lets go find her, knock her up, me that is, and destroy fauna and flora on the way.

[Tonjevic]

... OK that was a little TOO much information...

Who knew that the mario universe could be described in such incohesive graphic detail?

[nightmare975]

That, was, sick.

Please, make it stop.

[Sentenal]

Plus a bit longer than 30 seconds...

[Chrono'99]

Chrono Cross:

Leena: "Thanks for the Komodo scales Serge! I'll make a necklace with them. Ohh and sorry to be late, I had to watch over the silly kids. Ahh, it's a nice day isn't it? The sea just rolls in and out, in and out, in and out lolz. Funny isn't it? Hey Serge do you still remember what we said to each other here when we were kids? Serge? Serge?"

Serge: "zzzzzZzzzZZzz..."

Leena: "Wake up Serge! Huh? What? A hot, half-naked chick stalking you? Come on Serge, you've been drinking too much Heckran's beer."

[Burning Zeppelin]

Altered Beast:
Main Guy: Oh...no...I am reborn! Time to find genome chips and wreak havonc on the world!
(PS2 Version)

I hate to do this but...Panzer Dragoon Orta:

Orta: A dragon is here. Time to jump on board and kill my oppressors!
[insert killing things, finding a drone, finding a guy named MOBO, making friends, killing stuff, finding out you are a drone, fighting drone who wants to merge with you to create offspring, dragon dies, new dragon!]

Its more deep then that, but on a simple view, its too simple. Only if you got CT and MGS2 then you will get it.

[Merk]

Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken

Eliwood: Where's daddy? *goes to find*
Nergal: Right here.
Elbert: Oh noes!
Eliwood: Durandalized!
Nergal: O_O

Final Fantasy I

Nameless character 1: Let's go find the light orbs lolz!

Final Fantasy II

Firion: Let's go stop the evil emperor lolz!

Final Fantasy III

Random kid: Let's class-change and save the world lolz!

Final Fantasy IV

Cecil: Let's go to the moon lolz!

Final Fantasy V

Bartz: Let's protect and shatter the four crystals and absorb their power lolz!

Final Fantasy VI

Terra: Who am I lolz?

Final Fantasy VII

Cloud: Let's kill Sephiroth lolz!

Final Fantasy VIII

Squall: I'm emo and gonna cut myself lolz!

Final Fantasy IX

Zidane: Let's go kill Kuja lolz!

Sorry -.-; I feel bad for killing my favorite series.

[Hadriel]

Zero Wing

In A.D. 2101, war was beginning.

Captain: What happen?

Mechanic: Someone set up us the bomb.

Operator: We get signal.

Captain: What!!!

Operator: Main screen turn on.

Captain: It's you!

CATS: How are you gentlemen?

CATS: All your base are belong to us.

CATS: You are on the way to destruction.

CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.

CATS: HA HA HA.

Operator: Captain!!

Captain: Take off every Zig!

Operator: You know what you doing?

Captain: Move Zig!

Captain: For great justice!

[Zaperking]

Secret of Mana 2 (Seiken Detsuden or whatever it was called XD)

Fairy: OMG THE MANA TR33 IS DYING!111!!1ONEONEONE!2TWO!1! I MUST FIND TE3H CHOSEN ONE!
Sometime later bumps into one of the 6 main characters
Main Character: Oh Nooos. I swatted a fly.
Fairy: I aint no fly jerk, now i'm gona posess your body and we're gona go to the sacred city and get some action from the priest.

A while later
Priest: WE MUST FIND TEH SWORD OF TEH MANA AND SAVE THE WORLD! We MuSt GeT tEh MaNa SpIrItS tOoO0O0O0O0O hElP uS!!!

Sometime later when the mana spirits have been defeated
Spirits: We will join j0o0o.
Evil Dude: HAHAHA. YOU FELL INTO MY TRAP! NOW I CAN GO TO THE SECRET MANA HOLY LANDZORS!
Main Character: Oh nos, we must stop him!
Fairy: Well duh...

And even later
Evil dude: I am now so powerful, yaddi yaddi yaddi.
You fight the minon and hear their sappy story and they die

Evil dude: You're de-- NOOO IM DYING!
Fairy: Oh nos, now that he is dead, Mana will ceaszors to existzors for 1000 years time! OMFG!

The fairy becomes the new mana goddess/tree and teh end.

[Burning Zeppelin]

Terranigma:
Boyz: Woah man. A door. The elder dude told us not to go in. Lets disobey and go in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Holy shit this strong. Yo ark, stop ogling at Elly (I think) and come open it.
Ark: *throws vase at door, and miraculously breaks* Now to go inside! Little bug monster thing! Box! Damn, they are all frozen, my firends! Elder is still alive! Go to the uperworld! OK!!!!!!!
*resseruct shit. Create new world! Awseomest!* Elder is evil! Oh shit! Fightzor!

[Hadriel]

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Deku Tree: Hi!  Nintendo stole me from Disney, but at least Nintendo didn't make Kingdom Hearts!

Navi: Shut your screaming ass while I go get help for your constipation.

Mido: Hey loser who can't get laid!  I will now make fun of you in a very amateur and childish manner!  Haw haw haw!

Link: *seethes*  Just remember, Mido...your brains on the wall, my face on TV.

Mido: Man, what's his problem?  

Saria: ...

Mido: He's gonna shoot up the forest or something.  Hope he never gets a weapon.

Navi: Hey Link!  The Deku Tree's constipated!  Here's an obscenely sharp sword, a shield, and a fuckload of weapons so you can deal with it!

Kokiri: Shit, Link's gone nuts!

Gohma: Oh snap.  *gets head cut off*

Kokiri: He killed the Deku Tree!  Burn the heretic!

Link: I think I better run now.

Saria: Wait, Link!  Take this ocarina as a memento of our great sex!

Mido: WTF??

Link: *runs away to the castle*

Zelda: You must go find some shiny stones!

Link: Why?

Zelda: I want them to decorate my room.

Link: Now why should I do that?

Zelda: You'll get sex. ^_^

Link: OK!  *runs off and finds the other two stones*

Ruto: Have sex with me, Link!

Link: Sorry, I'm not into men.

Ruto: But I'm a girl!

Link: You Zoras all look the same to me.

Ruto: WUT> IM CALLIN TEH ACLU LOLOL

Ganondorf: Are you going to make fun of me because I'm black?

Link: No, I'm going to make fun of your stupid hip-hop accent.

Ganondorf: *shoots lightning*  WHAT DO YOU THINK I THINK OF YOUR ACCENT, BITCH?

Zelda: Hey Link, I'm not at the castle anymore.  You can reach me at 1-800-HYRULE whenever you need phone sex.

Link: *uses the stones*

Ganondorf: lawlz i got teh trifores suxor

Link: Oh snap!

Rauru: Hey Link!  Go and retrieve the other five sages and we can get your sex pal back!

Link: w00t!

Malon: Have sex with me, Link!  I'm young, beautiful, hardworking and completely in love with you!

Saria: Have sex with me, Link!  It'll be just like old times, except that you get carted off by the cops now!

Ruto: Have sex with me, Link, or I'll stalk you creepily and write emo songs about you!

Link: Ouch, I think you win.  *has sex with Ruto*

Zelda: And you didn't wait for me?  Tsk tsk.

Nabooru: ...

Link: What, you don't want to have sex with me?

Nabooru: And miss out on Ganondorf's 14 inches?  Dream on, dweeb.

Link: Well, I'll just have to fix that.  *cuts off Ganon's dong*

Zelda: Six Sages, NOW!

Rauru: Have sex with me, Link!

Link: ...

Rauru: Uh, I mean, Ancient Creators of Hyrule, lock this douchebag up until Nintendo decides to make a sequel!

Zelda: This game is a prequel.

Nintendo Marketing: Well, shit.

Link: I'm going to kill all of you.

THE END!