Author Topic: Quote Digest  (Read 174835 times)

Kebrel

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #240 on: October 05, 2007, 11:49:39 am »
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question
 given on a University of Washingtonchemistry mid term The answer by
 one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
 havethe pleasure of enjoying it as well :

 Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?
 Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
 Law(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or
 somevariant. One student, however, wrote the following:

 First, we need to know how
 the mass of Hell is changing in time.  So we
 need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
 rateat which they are leaving.  I think that we can safely assume that oncea
 soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.  Therefore, no souls are
 leaving.  As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
 thedifferent religions that exist in the world today Most of these religions
 state that if you are not a member of theirreligion, you will go to
 Hell.  Since there is more than one of these
 religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
 wecan project that all souls go to Hell.  With birth and death rates
 asthey are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
 increaseexponentially.
 Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
 Boyle'sLaw states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell
 tostay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
 are added.  This gives two possibilities: 1.  If Hell is expanding at a
 slower rate than the rate at which soulsenter Hell, then the
 temperature and pressure in Hell will increaseuntil all Hell breaks loose.
 2.  If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
 inHell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
 freezesover. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
 during my Freshman year
 that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and
 takeinto account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
 twomust be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
 already
 frozen over.  The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
 frozenover, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
 istherefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving theexistence of a
 divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
 shouting "Oh my God."
 
 THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Glennleo

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #241 on: October 05, 2007, 07:27:36 pm »
Pretty old and funny joke. I appreciate ya posting it.

Would have been nice if you made it easier to read, instead of a wall of text though.

Kebrel

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #242 on: October 05, 2007, 07:31:16 pm »
Some time classics are good for the soul.

And the site this particular one is from had it in one single column, I added the breaks and Colons my self.

Silver

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #243 on: October 08, 2007, 02:50:49 pm »
Actual conversation a couple weekends back, when I was showing a friend this particular thread:

Jarod: Dude, that is cool.  That is such a great quote.  Where'd you find it?
Me: Off the cover of my Zone of the Enders anime, of all places.
Jarod: You're joking.
Me: Nope.

ZeaLitY

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #244 on: October 14, 2007, 07:57:57 pm »
Quote
Henri Ducard: But I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just... poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed so you'd be spared your pain.

Silver

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #245 on: October 16, 2007, 02:47:27 pm »
"Common sense is not so common."
-French saying

"Big trees are hated by the wind."
-Japanese saying

ZeaLitY

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #246 on: October 17, 2007, 01:22:05 am »
I have to log this. Digg is full of programming / engineering major people who have turned to the dark side that is Ron Paul (well...some of his policies, that is), but this is too good:

Quote
The RIAA Attacks Usenet

Basking in glory after orchestrating a record punishment for a petty file-sharer in the US, the RIAA takes its legal campaign to the next level. Many may want newsgroups to stay under the radar but it's too late - major labels have filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Usenet.com and it won't be going away.

Quote
I heard the RIAA just sued independent musicians because they aren't giving the RIAA half of any money they make.

I heard the RIAA just sued a guy for walking down the street while whistling a tune!

I heard the RIAA once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2007, 01:42:17 am by ZeaLitY »

Silver

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #247 on: October 17, 2007, 02:39:17 pm »
'A real time traveller would have seen that coming.'
-Nick, Schlock Mercenary

Me: Coffee is life.  And if I don't have it, people gonna die.


Glennleo

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #248 on: October 23, 2007, 10:17:44 pm »
Quote from: - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.

Thought

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #249 on: October 25, 2007, 03:20:47 pm »
I'm slightly surprised by the lack of Dr. Whoe quotes, so...

Quote
The Doctor: You were supposed to be dying.
Face of Boe: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait.

Quote
The Doctor: You want weapons? We're in a library! Books, best weapons in the world. This room is the greatest arsenal we could have. Arm yourself.

Quote
Reinette: One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

Quote
The Doctor: You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible: that maybe you survive.

Quote
Charles Dickens: What the Shakespeare is going on here?

Quote
The Doctor: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers... or is that just me?

Quote
The Doctor: Go! Now! Don't drop the banana!
Jack: Why not?!
The Doctor: Good source of potassium!

Quote
Jack: Last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple. They stayed in touch. Can't say that about most executioners.

Quote
Rose: It was a better life. And I don't mean all the travelling, seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know, he showed you too. You don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no! You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away!

MsBlack

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #250 on: October 26, 2007, 01:07:50 pm »
From an Enter The Dragon script:

Quote
It is difficult to associate these horrors with the proud civilizations that created them. Sparta, Rome, the knights of Europe, the Samurai... all shared the lone ideal: the honor of strength, because it is strength that makes other values possible. Nothing survives without it. Who knows what delicate wonders have died out of the world for want of the strnegth to survive?

Civilization's highest ideas--justice--could not exist without strong men to enforce it. Indeed, what is civilization but simply the honor of strong men? Today, the young are taught nothing of honor. The sense of life as epic, of life as big, of life as something for which one learns to fight--this is follish to them. To them, grandeur is irrelevant. The young no longer dream.

Silver

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #251 on: October 28, 2007, 11:28:26 pm »
Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather.
-Japanese maxim

Silver

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #252 on: November 13, 2007, 05:26:36 pm »
"All right!  I get it!  It all makes sense now! You're the perfect person!"
"Finish that refrain, buster, and you're ground hash."
-Taken from one of my 'open scene' files (used as "testing grounds" for fics I write).

"I hate SNK bosses.  They don't know how to make an AI so they just make it really really powerful."
-Brian Reno, on SNK Bosses (and CvS2's 'God Rugal' in particular)

"Nah."
-PC's response to SHODAN's offer of immortality, System Shock 2.

"No thanks.  I've had enough of serving rouge AI's for a while.  Just ask SHODAN, if you can find her these days."
-My response in a Code Lyoko related RP to William's offer of having me join XANA.

Kebrel

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #253 on: November 17, 2007, 02:52:09 am »
Morte's Tale;

---------------------------------------
Nameless One: "Morte... do you have a story to trade?"

Morte: "Me? Why do *I* have to tell a story?"

Nameless One: "Just tell a story, Morte."

Morte: "Fine, fine..."
"An elderly man was sitting alone on a dark path, right? He wasn't certain of which direction to go, and he'd forgotten both where he was traveling to and who he was. He'd sat down for a moment to rest his weary legs, and suddenly looked up to see an elderly woman before him. She grinned toothlessly and with a cackle, spoke: 'Now your *third* wish. What will it be?'"
"'Third wish?' The man was baffled. 'How can it be a third wish if I haven't had a first and second wish?'"
"'You've had two wishes already,' the hag said, 'but your second wish was for me to return everything to the way it was before you had made your first wish. That's why you remember nothing; because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.' She cackled at the poor berk. 'So it is that you have one wish left.'"
"'All right,' said the man, "I don't believe this, but there's no harm in wishing. I wish to know who I am.'"
"'Funny,' said the old woman as she granted his wish and disappeared forever. 'That was your first wish.'"
---------------------------------------



Nordom's Tale;

---------------------------------------
Nameless One: "Nordom: if you have a story to trade, please share it with Yves."

Nordom: "In the 13.7th Revolution, we were required to fix gear and cog sub-set thirty-one in the fifth ring of Mechanus. We removed the obstruction and the gear turned as per its normal speed. Upon completing our task, we were then returned to the Source."

Morte: "What in the hells was that, you stupid polygon?! That's the most boring story I ever heard!"

Nordom: "It was what took place. With embellishments, of course."

Morte: "Embellishments?"

Nordom: "I thought the return to Source was a particularly fitting image to close the tale."
---------------------------------------



Nameless One last tale

---------------------------------------
Yves: Yves smiles pleasantly at you. "Greetings, again. I have come across a tale you might wish to hear. Shall I share it with you?"

Nameless One: "Yes, please."

Yves: "There was a man, a prestigious man, that for all his wealth and status was terribly unhappy. His daughter had perished, and what little was left of his life was shadowed by the gloom of her passing."
"So it happened that a former lover of the daughter came to him and spoke of her with meaning and feeling, restoring the light to his heart. And in so doing, both found two wholly different things, each of which would prove precious to them in separate ways."
"One found the spark of life returned to him, the gloom chased from his eyes and the corners of his mind."
"And the man, the lover, the petitioner found something else that was to prove more precious to him on his journey: regret."
"For it is regret that can change the nature of a man, it is said, though perhaps only the Gray Sisters know it for certain."
Yves nods at you, smiling. "I know not the meaning of this tale, but perhaps it will be of some use to you, in the future."
---------------------------------------




I still say Planescape: Torment had some of the the best writing and storytelling in a game.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2007, 02:54:19 am by Kebrel »

Silver

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Re: Quote Digest
« Reply #254 on: November 17, 2007, 05:08:10 am »
"I like reality.  It tastes like bread." -Anonymous

"GAWD, but it is GREAT to be loved." -Rache Bartmoss

"The original cyberpunk was Humphrey Bogart.  And he didn't even have any cyberware." -Mike Pondsmith (Cyberpunk v3.0)