...No, I take that back: you're probably just an extrovert. You enjoy being with people, and you can't understand that for some people, it causes severe stress even to be with people they like. And so you unthinkingly reinforce society's systematic discrimination against introverts. It doesn't matter in this world how smart you are, or how talented: if you can't bear to spend most of your time around other people, you're toast. No decent job, because the only way to get a more-than-entry-level job is through fucking "networking", and according to the paradigm you're presenting, no safety, either, because loners don't deserve to be safe, do they?
Do you have any idea how much human potential is wasted because of that fucking nonsense?
I'm not an extrovert, but you're not the first to assume that I am. I'm an introvert from the get go, someone who wants to take things easy, enjoy life while doing nothing. I don't enjoy being with people. Most of the times I have internal arguments with myself that I'm incapable of explaining to someone whether or not they're interested. I'm also selfish. Devilishly selfish. And yet I know all this is wrong! Life is precious, and I can't spend it on a chair! I constantly force myself go out. I constantly pressure myself to meet up with strangers and polishing my social skills, try turning some associates into trustworthy friends, expose myself to the outside world no matter how cold; all because I know the importance of it. I need to LIVE! I need to DREAM! And the more I do this, the more natural and confident I feel about it.
And you know what? I don't give a rat's ass about the concept of introverts and extroverts. The simplest idea is to do what you're comfortable doing. Nevertheless, I'm not reinforcing anything, just stating the facts. Loners are safer than socially active folks, but they're not better off. And talent alone is useless unless you have good social skills or know the right people.
Life is all about meeting the right people. Don't like it? Neither do I. But just because you don't like something doesn't mean it doesn't fucking exist. You see most of uneducated capitalists? Social skills and some experience. Uneducated, corrupt politicians? Social skills. Kim Il Sung? Fucking social skills!
And let me tell you some stories: Beetles wouldn't have been famous if they didn't meet an agent to whom they had to sell out. Wright brothers would have been hammering bicycles all their lives if they didn't get the genius of one guy who actually designed the schematics of a plane. I went to an interview and showed my talents well, but the job was given to a lesser talented bloke who could speak better than me and was more diplomatic. My boss was the first to successfully expand Venky's at Goa, but he couldn't reap the rewards of his hard work thanks to some envious folks who talked their way into his position. He was being constantly demoted despite his talents, and in the end he resigned. His brother's a talented musician and famous at average, but the reason he's not known throughout the nation is because he hasn't met a godfather to cash-in.
And it doesn't end there, really. But think about it: human evolution depended on society, on being bonded, on communicating and interacting. On sharing knowledge. If you fail to communicate, what kind of a human are you? That said, even though I have a voice, even though I am sane, I find it difficult to interact with people. I make a joke, but unintentionally offend someone. I try to explain, but somehow people misunderstand me. But I don't go hiding inside a shell like a turtle. I'm going to change this world so it can recognize sheer talent when it sees one. Yet talent depends on efforts, and people won't understand you unless you can make them understand you.It's a jumbled up, fucked up world we live in.
Secondly, it's all science. There have been research on human behavior, and it turns out that people who are more actively social live longer, have better mental and physical health, are happier, more successful and more tolerant to pressure, stress and what have you. Then again, it makes sense. How are people more peaceful here at India and there at America than those people at Afghanistan? Why is there an ongoing racial war? Because India and America have racial diversity, thus making people more tolerant to differences, whereas places like Afghanistan have at most two similar races and this makes them violently intolerant to other races.
<Sigh> I don't recall saying anywhere that the average bully was an evil person. Most of them are victims too. However, that doesn't excuse them doing things that would be legally actionable if they were adults, and rewarding their bad behaviour is odious.
You didn't say it, but you didn't imply that. When I said "socialize with bullies" I was assuming that the person I'm talking to is intelligent enough to differentiate between them, seeing which of those bullies could be socially helpful despite the annoyance factor and which other is a psychopath. It's obvious
doing bad things cannot be justified easily, but tell me, how many of your friends haven't done something seriously awful? Let me be frank: in my life I've done some horrible things, from ruining someone's life to breaking someone's leg with a hammer, locking a kid in a room for a whole day to giving someone a heart attack. I've even been called a Devil in sheep's clothing, and it's frightening how I'm capable of overpowering people without the need of physical strength. Till this day I regret my actions in the past, but people still tell me today that my good outweighs the bad. People still look up to me like I'm some great guy, even though I'm not sure what kind of bullies you've experienced in your life, but I doubt they're any worse than me.
By "culture", I wasn't just referring to the other students--they're only 50% of the equation--but the school administration as well. Punishing bullies directly may not work, but there are other simple measures that can reduce the problem, such as making sure that the bully and his victim are kept apart as much as possible. If the teachers and admin staff believe that bullying is "normal" and the victim should just "suck it up"--that is, if they're into blaming the victim too--not only can they make things worse through boneheaded enforcement of the wrong policies, but the attitude will tend to percolate down to the students (even if the students will never admit it).
I'm not really supporting bullying actions, but I do agree that things like that are
normal. Even more common than any sort of crime, like murder or theft. That doesn't mean we shouldn't do something about it: we, as a society, need to strive in making the world a safer place. And yet bullying isn't
remotely as destructive as murder or armed robbery and controlling these circumstances are relatively easier with some help. Some bullying have led to suicides, and those are extreme cases which need to be taken with utmost care (yet, suicide is a coward's way out).
But kept apart as possible? Wait a second, simple peer pressure is also "bullying". Are you telling me you get worked up when someone calls you a Skunk? Would you complain if someone keeps poking you with a pencil? Would you cry if someone punches you? Alfy, you're better than this. Be a man. These exact kinds of pressures are necessary to make a person tolerant to social life, which is even more dangerous as you grow up. Keep a kid away from "all the bad kids" and he's likely going to grow intolerance to any sort of offense, even by close friends. They will also lack the capacity to calmly and intelligently deal with these kinds of pressures, making even the smallest of deals to lead them to suicide.
That said, as much as every human being requires social skills, you don't need to master it or anything. Introvertism is a good thing, as you begin to focus on things more important than socializing, and this has brought lots of progress to our world. Just a handful of necessary skill is essential to get you through things. You don't have to go out of your way to meet strangers, but just know enough to behave and evaluate. Treat everyone in life like a goddamned criminal, and you're screwed. Try hiding from it all, and you're also screwed. So where do you go?
"I think there's always danger, wherever you go. You can either ignore it or wrap yourself in blankets so it doesn't hurt you, or you can walk towards it and dare it to do its worst. If you do the first thing then the danger takes you by surprise. If you do the second thing then you spend your time swaddled up in the dark, letting the world pass you by. The only logical course of action is to go towards the danger. The more you get used to it, the better you can deal with it."
Meh, there was a lot I wanted to say, but my head's achin...
