Humanity: Good News, Bad News

[Lord J Esq]

Generous ghost angers pub landlady
http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=150017043&ocid=today

The problems you never knew you had...

[Daniel Krispin]

Random bit of trivia: I’ve been studying Latin and an interesting thing came up. The word that we get “study” from, “studere,” does mean “to study,” but it also means “to be zealous for.” It is interesting that the Romans perceived studying as a passionate activity.

I am inclined to disagree, in that I do not think that they saw it in any more passionate a light than we do. The thing is, the etymology of the word lies on the 'zealous' side, applied in certain circumstances to refer to a zeal ofor learning. It is only because we so exclusively use it to refer to study that it seems intrinsically connected. However, the word can be applied to a zeal for most anything. The word might have connections to a Greek word speudo, which itself just means something along the lines of 'hasten'. So I would be careful in drawing a judgement about their perception of study. Certainly at times it could be perceived as such (just as we speak of someone as having a passion for a certain subject), but the same could be said for these days. I am certain they had their full share of discontented schoolboys.

[Lord J Esq]

I am certain they had their full share of discontented schoolboys.

In Joshalonia, we call those people fish food. The Joshalonian Empire has some of the biggest, tastiest fish in the world.

...and not too many people to deplete the supply.

[Daniel Krispin]

I am certain they had their full share of discontented schoolboys.

In Joshalonia, we call those people fish food. The Joshalonian Empire has some of the biggest, tastiest fish in the world.

...and not too many people to deplete the supply.

Indeed? In my state (which is far too elite to admit a thing so trite as a nation name... at least to your empire, for certainly there is a name in itself), those who exhibit disregard for schooling are put into the keeping of our chief torturers, Thucydides and Demosthenes, who compell them to translate their works from Greek until their minds are properly honed or they simply go mad (in practice, it has always with only one exception been the latter that has occurred.) Those that go mad are given recitations of Seneca's tragedies, thereby inspiring a bloodlust and penchant for melodramatic violence that is employed in our more unsavoury military divisions. Understandably, schooling is not something to be taken lightly. However, such a military bred on the darkest pages of Seneca, armed with the thunderbolt and marching under the dreaded aegis, are a feared force, fiercer than any troop of sylvan Bacchantes, and responsible for some victories even against your empire, I believe... not that you would ever admit to such an occurrance, of course. How long do your people think your empire's been undefeated? Since inception?

(Note, as we speak, my crack troops have taken, in a raid, some of your fish-food.)

Bad News for Humanity

A certain warlord by the name of Atreus, whose wife was seduced by his brother Thyestes, takes his brother's children, slaughters them, and serves them to him in a feast. Apparently, this was so terrible that even the sun went into an eclipse. Surely not humanity's best hour.

[KebreI]

I am certain they had their full share of discontented schoolboys.

In Joshalonia, we call those people fish food. The Joshalonian Empire has some of the biggest, tastiest fish in the world.

...and not too many people to deplete the supply.

Indeed? In my state (which is far too elite to admit a thing so trite as a nation name... at least to your empire, for certainly there is a name in itself), those who exhibit disregard for schooling are put into the keeping of our chief torturers, Thucydides and Demosthenes, who compell them to translate their works from Greek until their minds are properly honed or they simply go mad (in practice, it has always with only one exception been the latter that has occurred.) Those that go mad are given recitations of Seneca's tragedies, thereby inspiring a bloodlust and penchant for melodramatic violence that is employed in our more unsavoury military divisions. Understandably, schooling is not something to be taken lightly. However, such a military bred on the darkest pages of Seneca, armed with the thunderbolt and marching under the dreaded aegis, are a feared force, fiercer than any troop of sylvan Bacchantes, and responsible for some victories even against your empire, I believe... not that you would ever admit to such an occurrance, of course. How long do your people think your empire's been undefeated? Since inception?

(Note, as we speak, my crack troops have taken, in a raid, some of your fish-food.)

Bad News for Humanity

A certain warlord by the name of Atreus, whose wife was seduced by his brother Thyestes, takes his brother's children, slaughters them, and serves them to him in a feast. Apparently, this was so terrible that even the sun went into an eclipse. Surely not humanity's best hour.

I just feed them my grandmothers ham gravy.

[Lord J Esq]

However, such a military bred on the darkest pages of Seneca, armed with the thunderbolt and marching under the dreaded aegis, are a feared force, fiercer than any troop of sylvan Bacchantes, and responsible for some victories even against your empire, I believe... not that you would ever admit to such an occurrance, of course. How long do your people think your empire's been undefeated? Since inception?

(Note, as we speak, my crack troops have taken, in a raid, some of your fish-food.)

So...you're the fish food thieves! Do you know what we do to fish food thieves? That's right. We turn them into fish food. The Joshalonian Empire has suffered occasional tactical inconvenience, and our citizenry is able-minded enough to acknowledge these imperfections in our Imperial Character, but just you wait!

No Greeks have long withstood the terrific might of our Commercial Merchandising Machine!

[Daniel Krispin]

Oh dear.

[Radical_Dreamer]

The child eating does come up a fair bit with the Greeks, doesn't it? Which reminds me, I need to read more of Metamorphoses.

[Thought]

No Greeks have long withstood the terrific might of our Commercial Merchandising Machine!

Ah, if only the Trojans had known that the way to defeat the bronze-kneed Greeks was to open up a souvenir stand! Garments with the phrase “I survived the Trojan War and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” would have been the Trojan equivalent of, well, the Trojan Horse.

[Lord J Esq]

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-ct-hulu5-2009oct05%2C0%2C980649.story

This wouldn't protect the television industry. It would accelerate its decline.

[Daniel Krispin]

My economics have been adjusted accordingly. Lord J, I would advise that in the future you do not speak so openly regarding your national tactics.

I am well aware that you have other subversive plots in hand. I assure you these are being effectively dealt with and appropriate countermeasures are being employed. My Eyes and Ears are everywhere, after all.

Atque hostes omnes nos immotos vereantur,
cum moveamur hos anguinei subito!

[Lord J Esq]

Ut desint vires, tamen est laudanda voluntas.

[Daniel Krispin]

Ut desint vires, tamen est laudanda voluntas.

True, in its own right. But all the will in the world won't avail. That sort of laud is for a second-rate empire.

That saying has a beautiful composition, I must say. From an epic verse? Or a half-couplet of elegy, I suppose? I'd spot such lovely hexameters anywhere.

[Daniel Krispin]

Bad News

Few can read Latin and Greek anymore. Fewer still can write original Latin prose, and the barest fraction original Latin poetry. What is the world coming to when such a cornerstone of education falls by the wayside?

[Lord J Esq]

Per your frustration, I attempted to deduce your bit of Latin up there. Although I successfully derived the general meaning of a few of the words, I failed totally to complete a coherent translation. It's always a fascinating exploration of English, though. Thankfully, many English words are Latin-based or have a Latin-based synonym, which greatly aids my deductive process. For instance, with "immotos" I got to the right place because I was reminded of the words "immobile" and "motor." With "hostes" I was reminded--and I had known this at some point, but had forgotten--that "host," that pleasant fellow who welcomes you into their house and gives you food--is a word deriving from "enemy" (I love little ironies like that), by way of the military use "hosts." The hosts of Mordor!

So, you wrote that from scratch? Plaudits are appropriate. A hundred years ago I'd have been taught Latin in my schooling, but today English is the master language of the world. If I'd been born in any nation speaking another language, I'd have likely been taught English in my schooling! Life is like that. It's very hard to preserve the past in the consciousness of the present, and not necessarily desirable in all instances.