your can hav your poems give me the rum
You needn't worry yourself there. Just leave me my wine-stores in tact - but you won't be getting at those. I've hidden them where none might be finding them. Now, who's up for a bit of practice with sabres and muskets? I'd go cannon, but seeing as none of you have a gunnery crew, or could aim them guns to the worth of even half a penny, I'm left to shooting the admiralty's woodwork alone. Yea, I've been shooting targets at the HMS Pickle - she's docked alongside, you know, and her name doesn't belie any fighting spirit. Ye all needn't be worried - they aren't going to notice a thing till come morning - and what'll they say? Beelzebub's done it or some damn like thing, when they see their figurehead's shot to wreck.
Well, they might have heard a thing or two, it's true. Truth be told, I had to bribe the port authority to keep quiet - they came asking me about all the ruckess. Cannon-shot? Sirs, I couldn't deny it, nor would they take the excuse of a too-ready trigger finger - gun crews don't have a trigger, so they said, and I suppose they're right. But for a pound and a shilling, they were willing to hold their peace, and tell those drunk Brits on the Pickle that they heard nothing in the night. By Neptune, there'll be yelling in the morn, I'll tell you that. They'd come storming up our plank, no doubt, if that old rogue Rackham wasn't docked opposite. Who'd suspect the Venture, when they've got Calico Jack right there?
You see, next morning old Rackham's going to run up his colours, and make to leave the bay. Then those there Pickle-men, they're going to wake and see all the damage to their ship, and are going to be thinking to themselsves 'why, old Jack's been up to his tricks.' They won't even be questioning the port guards. They'll make to sail, and engage in glorious battle with the dastard pirate.
So, contragulate me, sirs. Not only have I practiced our crews, I've arranged for a morning's entertainment, a ship-battle in this very harbour, twixt that infamous mariner Rackham, and the brave men of his Majesty's Pickle. Why, old Nero himself couldn't have supplied a better display! I believe the show should begin at about an hour after sunrise, so be on deck then - I'll supply some wine from my stores, and rum as well. Till morning, schlaf sicher, und gute nacht, herren.
On thinking again, anyone still up for that sabre-and-musket practice?
