I guess I should formally post this at the Compendium. Credit goes to RICK in 2003, who was making fun of the CT/RD/CC/CB discussion on OCR (the thread serving as the basis of the Compendium).
LAVOS? HES LIKE A BIG GIANT GOOMBA WHO SPROUTS FROM THE GROUND AND SHOOTS
SPORESAND POLLEN AND LOTS OF CRUD INTO THE AIR< CAUSING LOTS OF DEAD
PEOPLE!!1
ROBO< HES A ROBOT AND BECAME A FARMER< LIKE FARMER BROWN< I DONO IF FARMER
BROWN LOOKED LIKE A ROBOT BUT ROBO SURE DUZ!!1 NEWAY< ROBO LIKE TURNED
SUMTING DED INTO SUMTING ALIVE!11 HE PLANTED PLANTS AND TREEZ AND CRUD> SO
MEBBE HE IZ THE TRU BADGUY!1 CUZ HE PLANTED LAVOS WHEN LAVOS WUTZ A YOUNG POD
AND WATARED HIM EVERYDAY SO THAT LAVOS CUD GROW BIG AND STRONG>
SO LIKE ROBO IZ A BAD GUY AND CRUD< BUT NO WAIT< HES A ROBOT AND ROBOTS
AREN"T BAD RITE< CUZ LIKE HE DIDN"T PROGRAMME HIMSELF< LUCCA DID!1 SO THRU
THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION AND CRUD< THAT MAKES LUCCA EV0L!
HOLY CRAP< BUT SHES WIF THE GOOD GUYS THRUOUT THE GAME< RITE< SO MEBBE SHES
NOT EV0L< IDONO>
NOW I DONO WUT THE WERD "ENTITIE" MEANS< BUT IF I BREAK IT DOWN AND USE
METACONITION< I DONO WUT THAT WERD MEANS BUT MY TEACHER SAID THAT ONE DAY IN
CLASS< AND PRETEND THAT I AM A POLICEMAN< I CAN CUM UP WIF SUM CONCLUSIONS
ABOUT THIS ENTITIE< WUTEVER THAT MEANS
ENT- K< SO LIKE ENT< THAT'S LIKE CLOSE 2 ANT SO IT MUST BE SMALL AND BE ABLE
2 LIFT 10 TIEMS ITS ONLY BODY WEIGHT!1 SO THIS ENTITIE MUST BE VARY STRONG
IN SUMWAY RITE?
-TIT- REPRESENTS A PART OF THE HUMAN ANATOMIE< ESPECIALLY GIRL ANATOMIE< SUM
GIRLS HAVE LARGE TITS< WHICH I LIKE VARY MUCH
-TIE - UM< TIE AS IN TIE THINGS 2GETHER< U NO? SO IF WE CAN LIKE TIE ONE
THING 2 ANOTHAR THING< THEY WILL BE ONE THING< RITE??
SO LIKE< NOW THAT I BROKE DOWN THE WERD ENTITIE< WHICH I HAVE NO IDEAR WUT
IT MEANS< ITS TIEM 2 PUT ON MY POLICEMAN UNIFORM>>
OK< IMMA POLICEMAN
SO LIKE I ENFORCE THE LAW< RITE? AND LIKE< THIS ENTITIE BREAKS THE LAW CUZ
IT MAKES TIME TRAVEL GATES< RIGHT? AND THAT'S BREAKING SUM SORT OF LAWS<
LIKE UM METAPHYSICAL LAWS AND CRUD< I DONO< BUT LIKE THE GATES ARE AGAINST
THE LAW>
NOW BECUZ I HAVE 3 CLUES 2 WERK WITH< I CAN FIGURE OUT WHO THE ENTITIE IZ!!1
SO LIKE SUM1 SMALL THAT I NO WOULD BE MY FRAND JONNY< BUT JONNY IZN"T IN THE
GAYME SO THAT REMOVES HIM FROM THE LIST OF SUSPECTS< HOWEVAR< WUT ABOUT
LUCCA!1 SHES SMALL RITE? WELL MEBBE NOT BUT LETS PRETEND SHE IZ< SHE
DEFINATLEY IZN"T FAT SO LIKE SHE CAN"T BE BIG AND CRUD>
OK< MOVING ON< TIT< WELL LUCCA HAS TITS!!1
OK NEXT WE HAVE TIE< SO LIKE WE ALRADY ESTABLISHED THAT LUCCA IZ EV0L< RITE?
AND LIKE U REMEMBAR WHEN I SED THERE R TIES AND CRUD< WELL WUT IF WE TIE
SUMTING GEWD 2 SUMTING BAD?? WE"D GET LUCCA IN THIS CASE< RITE? OF COURSE!
SO 2 SOLVE THIS MYSTERIE< LUCCA IZ THE ENTITIE !!!11
NOW THE GAME FINALLY MAKES SENSE!
Not to mention this clears up all the plotholes:
Lavos is an evil robot-made plant-goomba that shoots evil pollen
Robo is the victom in an unknown crime partnership
Lucca created the creator of the creator of gates(which are illegal) so shes the true villian
Time travel is illegal in most states
I like waffles even more now.
This is what i have figured out from Rick's genious theory