Author Topic: The $%*! frustration thread  (Read 568282 times)

GenesisOne

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4695 on: December 08, 2009, 01:39:20 pm »

If it's any consolation, I still use phone books to find local businesses.

Also, my family television is still a 36" cathode-ray TV.

Still, I'm more partial to a computer keyboard for word-processing than typewriters.

On the bright side, we still use the toaster, which has been around for nearly a century.

Radical_Dreamer

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4696 on: December 08, 2009, 05:43:25 pm »
Frustration: I need to shower, but it's too cold! It was 19F when I walked to school and not even snowing. What's the point in cold weather if it isn't going to snow?

I'm guessing you don't drive much, since you were in the Seattle area last winter.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4697 on: December 08, 2009, 05:55:35 pm »
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/12/kings_and_queens_of_the_ther.php

Quote
Atheism 3.0 is, as I said, nothing new. It's been around as long as atheism has, and there's a much better and far more descriptive term for it: "Atheism But." As in, "I'm an atheist, but I think religion is a wonderful institution (usually for someone else, just not me.)" It's atheism for people who don't like atheism, or who want to neuter atheism so it doesn't challenge a pious status quo, or have this condescending idea that the rest of society is dumber than they are, and needs the palliative of unreasoning faith. The New Atheists, as much as we detest the title, at least offer an honest, open integrity about their ideas; these guys seem to be more interested in hiding the significance of the nonexistence of gods so they can hide behind a façade of superficial religiosity, and appeal to a waffly, wishy-washy middle ground.

Quote
What the Atheist Buts are trying to do is occupy a middle ground, compromising with religion to find an illusory magic mean. They're all but indistinguishable from another group, the God Buts. These are people who don't use the word atheism at all, but instead preach a nebulous version of religion that has no relationship to any established religion — instead, they want you to accept the virtues of simply believing in…something. Anything. If you told them you worshipped the transcendant god personified by the earthly presence of Mickey Mouse, they wouldn't question you in the slightest. Deny god, though, and suddenly you're treated as shrill, militant, and strident.

To hell with both.

Zephira

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4698 on: December 08, 2009, 08:55:58 pm »
Super Happy Frustrated Offensive Time!
Perhaps my biggest frustration is extremely fat people who come to school and do nothing but eat. This very large guy squeezed himself into our midst with a tub of macaroni large enough to feed a family of five and proceeded to chow down. He fell asleep halfway through, but was still going through the motions of eating while snoring loud enough that we had to shout over him to be heard. He woke up ten minutes later and polished off the macaroni as if nothing had happened.
You're obese. You're killing yourself with food. It is unnatural and unhealthy, unless you are storing fat for hibernation or famine, which is certainly not the case in this country.
It's just disgusting. Even if you're actually sick and don't have the chemical in your brain that tells you to stop eating, you should still be able to exercise logic and stop eating, or only set out enough food to fill your nutritional needs.

ZombieBucky

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4699 on: December 08, 2009, 09:07:52 pm »
i like the sound of typewriters... i wish that they werent so heavy though.
as to eating, it bothers me when people eat too much (like this man you described, ms zeph) or not enough. there was a girl in my class senior year. she transfered from hartford or something. she was rail thin, i swear. like, no meat to her at all. she was apparently very sick, so she never did anything in gym but watch us. (kind of creepy now that i remember it) we had to get weighed and measured for like a survey or something. she was apparently 94 pounds.
dear god.
in this country, we shouldnt prepare our bodies for hibernation or famine. most people can afford food, and there are plenty of places to go for warmth. in this country, we shouldnt starve ourselves for any reason. the premise of beauty in thinness is... sickening. this girl was almost skeleton-like. i know that there was probably something very wrong with her (she didnt eat because she thought something bad would happen or something similar; she ate but her body didnt process it right), but in general.
thin does not equal beauty.

now to my frustration:
SNOW.
one of my uncles lives in massachusetts. he was going to travel down here tomorrow (he knows that hes my favorite extended family member), but there is apparently going to be a big storm there. like, huge storm. like, snow up to your knees huge storm (probably not but its pretty big). he called and said he probably wont make it for tomorrows dinner.
which sucks.
i really like him. he brings great cookies and i want his recipe.

Romana

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4700 on: December 08, 2009, 10:21:56 pm »
Frustrated at my fear of making any progress. I'm going to go through life as the wrong person because I'm too much of a wimp to confront my mother.

Thought

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4701 on: December 08, 2009, 10:41:39 pm »
Even if you're actually sick and don't have the chemical in your brain that tells you to stop eating, you should still be able to exercise logic and stop eating, or only set out enough food to fill your nutritional needs.

To be brief, while that might work for some people, for others it is akin to telling someone who is bipolar to use logic to restrain their manic behaviors and to think themselves out of their depression.

Also, regarding the feast/famine model, recent research is increasingly indicating that such a theory is just an outdated model. Predation, not famine, seems to be what kept human weight down for a good portion of our history.

FaustWolf

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4702 on: December 08, 2009, 11:00:03 pm »
Quote from: FaFniR
Frustrated at my fear of making any progress.
Maybe you can take some comfort in knowing that you aren't alone in this at all, at least as far as I'm able to interpret what you've written here. At times a lack of momentum is something many of us secretly fear; if it's nibbling at your mind to a great degree, there are only two courses of action -- either confront the obstacle head-on or find a creative way of accomplishing what you feel you need to otherwise. Unhappiness is an option I think is okay to take off the table; the Springtime of Youth simply doesn't allow it. There must be some way. That's my belief anyway.

GenesisOne

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4703 on: December 08, 2009, 11:17:02 pm »

Why are you afraid of making progress?

Probably for the same reason that I'm sort of afraid of making progress.

I'm so used to my way of life that I fear plenty of projects of mine being completed, like the CT Screenplay I'm working on and other screenplays that I've yet to even begin typing up.

Once you've obtained your goals, it sort of becomes a brave new world that you've never explored before, and now you gotta work hard at re-adjusting yourself to the new environment of your life.

I don't know if that hit the nail on the head (or at least nicked the edge of the head). What says you?

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4704 on: December 08, 2009, 11:20:25 pm »
I waited 2.5 years to do something I should have done in a few months, once. While those years are part of my development, I guess I can't really make any kind of judgment on readiness or anything. It's frustrating to deal with massive fears at an early stage. But at some point, maturity is reached, and fear is safely, always the wrong course of action.

ZeaLitY

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4705 on: December 09, 2009, 01:26:35 am »
Pfft, no one's gotten enthusiastic in the vector thread. Lightweights.



"If you want to give up, then you're free to go die in a ditch somewhere. I'm moving on."

FaustWolf

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4706 on: December 09, 2009, 02:24:10 am »
Quote from: ZeaLitY
Pfft, no one's gotten enthusiastic in the vector thread. Lightweights.

YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU SoY. WHAT KIND OF COMPENDIUMITES DO YOU TAKE US FOR

Did I steal two images from you and Kodokami there, or was I infected by your SoY? You decide.

Lord J Esq

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4707 on: December 09, 2009, 02:54:19 am »
Pfft, no one's gotten enthusiastic in the vector thread. Lightweights.

"If you want to give up, then you're free to go die in a ditch somewhere. I'm moving on."

I think that, between you and me, we may have intimidated and preempted the gallery. Perhaps I posted too soon, which is why I will wait a while for the education thread.

~~~
Super Happy Frustrated Offensive Time!
Perhaps my biggest frustration is extremely fat people who come to school and do nothing but eat. This very large guy squeezed himself into our midst with a tub of macaroni large enough to feed a family of five and proceeded to chow down. He fell asleep halfway through, but was still going through the motions of eating while snoring loud enough that we had to shout over him to be heard. He woke up ten minutes later and polished off the macaroni as if nothing had happened.
You're obese. You're killing yourself with food. It is unnatural and unhealthy, unless you are storing fat for hibernation or famine, which is certainly not the case in this country.
It's just disgusting. Even if you're actually sick and don't have the chemical in your brain that tells you to stop eating, you should still be able to exercise logic and stop eating, or only set out enough food to fill your nutritional needs.

First of all, in the frustration thread I think most comments are fair game. If you can't vent here, then where? So I acknowledge that you were frustrated by this guy. But let me try to give you my perspective, as the Compendium's resident Fat Acceptance expert. I can imagine there were probably half a dozen people wondering how I might reply to your post. I venture this:

Humor me, for a moment, in the bottom line: Let's say that neither being fat nor eating heartily is actually disgusting, unnatural, unhealthy, or self-destructive. Pretend that, for a moment. Instead, let's focus on this person in particular. What was doing that frustrated you?

First, he seemed to intrude in your group's personal space. Second, he ate more food than you think was appropriate. Third, he fell asleep in the middle of his meal. Fourth, he interrupted your conversation with his noisy snoring. Fifth, he was fat. Let's take these frustrations in turn...

1. He intruded on your group's space. Is this something which a non-fat person can also do? Yes it is, which means that it isn't a property of being fat, but of being inconsiderate of others. Now, from your description it sounds like it was a very small space, so perhaps his girth led to a problem that wouldn't have arisen had he been thinner. But that is a function of the actual space available, and, again, of his own inconsiderateness. Were there other places he could have sat? If so, then next time something like this happens you can simply ask the person to move to another table. If not, it's hardly their fault for taking an available seat. Without being bigoted, the next time a fat person intrudes on your space, when there is an abundance of space available, do what you can to increase that person's awareness of their own inconsiderateness without making them feel bad specifically for being fat. Tell them that you're having a private conversation and that you'd appreciate if they'd move on. Or invite them to join you; maybe they're an interesting person! Intruding on personal space in those instances is not a property of being fat, and fatness should not be punished for crimes of which it is not guilty.

2. He ate more food than you thought was appropriate. What is it, specifically, that makes a portion size inappropriate? It's not as if he was eating someone else's food. Macaroni isn't one of those things the cafeteria is likely to run out of, and we're not exactly suffering from food shortages in this country. Maybe he was very hungry. Maybe he enjoys food. Is the appropriateness of a portion size dependent upon the measure of a person's size? Do you think fat people should be on diets until they get thin? Since you said that you think being fat is unhealthy, I would imagine you would answer "yes." If so, then: Is it so urgent to you that fat people diet, that you would feel entitled to pressure, shame, or coerce them into dieting? People do things all the time that we disapprove of. That's life. No one will find themselves in agreement with everyone all the time. In a free society, we reserve the right to control the actions of others only for those wrongdoings heinous enough to warrant this infringement of liberty. Was his presence at your lunch table an unacceptable, injurious disruption of your way of life? Probably not. Was he such a danger to himself that you felt compelled to judge the appropriateness of his portion sizes in the first place? Or were you just letting your personal disapproval transform into prejudice?

3. He fell asleep in the course of his meal. This fits right in with the stereotype that fat people are undisciplined slobs. I doubt that his actually falling asleep is what made you upset. People fall asleep in public all the time. So long as they're not driving vehicles or operating machinery at the time, that's okay. Instead, I think you interpreted these cues--a fat person falling asleep while eating--as an affirmation of that stereotype I mentioned. Now, maybe this person actually is an undisciplined slob. But maybe he's not. Maybe he has a medical problem--which may or may not be a product of his obesity. Or maybe he just didn't get enough sleep the previous night. Did you ask him? Probably not. But let's say he fell asleep because he's fat--which I gather is what you assumed at the time. There are a number of reasons by which that could happen. What is it about this possibility that frustrates you? Do you think that fat people who have lower energy levels or issues with fatigue have diminished their quality of life so badly that you cannot help but be disgusted with them? If so, why do you think that? What makes you so sure that their quality of life is so diminished? There are people who enjoy food so much that they're willing to trade thinness and even energy in exchange for a life of gustatory indulgence. For that matter, there are people who just like being fat. Maybe these are not choices you would make, because you have different set of motivations in life, but are they so abhorrent that no one can ever justifiably make them? Is eating to the point of obesity, or for the purpose of obesity, truly so ghastly? You called it "unnatural." We live in a society where the unnatural is the rule. There's no such thing as salami in nature. There's no such thing as video games. There's no such thing as school. We invented all of these things; none of them is "natural." Naturality is not a good criterion for measuring whether something is inappropriate, but people often use it anyway as an expression of disgust. What is about about fatness or overeating that disgusts you?

4. He interrupted your conversation with his snoring. It's true that being fat makes you more likely to snore. Also, his loud snoring may tie in with the fact that he fell asleep in the first place. Nevertheless, snoring is not something that only fat people do. It is a medical condition--a relatively benign one in most cases. It's a part of the spectrum of human behavior. Even if his snoring is the result of his obesity, does it make him such a bad person? If he was interrupting you with his snoring, you could simply have woken him up and told him that he was snoring too loudly. Why didn't you? It's not as if he was doing it on purpose. Being frustrated by someone else's snoring is self-defeating.

5. He is fat. I think that's what set you up to be frustrated in the first place. Prejudice against fat people is very widespread in our culture. We are conditioned to be repulsed by the sight of a fat person, and to immediately proceed to judgmentalism and even harassment. Next time you see a fat person and you feel this way, stop yourself and ask yourself where it comes from. Ask yourself if it's warranted.

Now...you can stop humoring me, and get back to your view that overeating while being fat is disgusting, unnatural, unhealthy, and self-destructive. From the context of that perspective, it's clear that you think excess fat on a person is a terrible thing, as is overeating while in a state of excess fatness. It's also fairly evident that you rationalize your view on the assertion that this is unhealthy and destructive to the individual. You use the same kind of language and imagery that I might use of a sexist. It's clear to me that, to you, an indulgent obese person is an enemy to you--not a sympathetic figure but a despicable one. Why is that? Tell me, if you're up to it, the grounds on which you assert that obesity is healthy, that overeating while obese is "killing yourself," and that fatness at worst is despicable rather than pitiable.

Uboa

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4708 on: December 09, 2009, 02:57:55 am »
There must be some way. That's my belief anyway.

Too often the way does not appear unless some other changes happen first.  Altering the scenery somehow, taking other risks and understanding the rewards or consequences, or exploring new philosophies are good places to start, but what is more important is to not stop exploring new mental terrain.  It often takes a significant change in perspective before an opening to attack these problems head-on will appear.  Also, even if you cannot confront that one particular problem now, you can always confront others which may make the one problem seem that much more daunting.

I hope for the best for you, FaF.  I know how devastating a relationship with an overbearing parent can be.  :(

ZombieBucky

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Re: The $%*! frustration thread
« Reply #4709 on: December 09, 2009, 09:24:24 am »
to faf, if your mother doesnt accept you for who you feel you are, then what kind of parent is she? explain your feelings and such in a kind, non-screaming manner (until she screams at you. if she does, let her have it). make it clear to her that this is what you want, and in most countries you are considered an adult. overcome your fear and let nothing hold back who you are.