Pfft, no one's gotten enthusiastic in the vector thread. Lightweights.
"If you want to give up, then you're free to go die in a ditch somewhere. I'm moving on."
I think that, between you and me, we may have intimidated and preempted the gallery. Perhaps I posted too soon, which is why I will wait a while for the education thread.
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Super Happy Frustrated Offensive Time!
Perhaps my biggest frustration is extremely fat people who come to school and do nothing but eat. This very large guy squeezed himself into our midst with a tub of macaroni large enough to feed a family of five and proceeded to chow down. He fell asleep halfway through, but was still going through the motions of eating while snoring loud enough that we had to shout over him to be heard. He woke up ten minutes later and polished off the macaroni as if nothing had happened.
You're obese. You're killing yourself with food. It is unnatural and unhealthy, unless you are storing fat for hibernation or famine, which is certainly not the case in this country.
It's just disgusting. Even if you're actually sick and don't have the chemical in your brain that tells you to stop eating, you should still be able to exercise logic and stop eating, or only set out enough food to fill your nutritional needs.
First of all, in the frustration thread I think most comments are fair game. If you can't vent here, then where? So I acknowledge that you were frustrated by this guy. But let me try to give you my perspective, as the Compendium's resident Fat Acceptance expert. I can imagine there were probably half a dozen people wondering how I might reply to your post. I venture this:
Humor me, for a moment, in the bottom line: Let's say that neither being fat nor eating heartily is actually disgusting, unnatural, unhealthy, or self-destructive. Pretend that, for a moment. Instead, let's focus on this person in particular. What was doing that frustrated you?
First, he seemed to intrude in your group's personal space. Second, he ate more food than you think was appropriate. Third, he fell asleep in the middle of his meal. Fourth, he interrupted your conversation with his noisy snoring. Fifth, he was fat. Let's take these frustrations in turn...
1. He intruded on your group's space. Is this something which a non-fat person can also do? Yes it is, which means that it isn't a property of being fat, but of being inconsiderate of others. Now, from your description it sounds like it was a very small space, so perhaps his girth led to a problem that wouldn't have arisen had he been thinner. But that is a function of the actual space available, and, again, of his own inconsiderateness. Were there other places he could have sat? If so, then next time something like this happens you can simply ask the person to move to another table. If not, it's hardly their fault for taking an available seat. Without being bigoted, the next time a fat person intrudes on your space, when there is an abundance of space available, do what you can to increase that person's awareness of their own inconsiderateness without making them feel bad specifically for being fat. Tell them that you're having a private conversation and that you'd appreciate if they'd move on. Or invite them to join you; maybe they're an interesting person! Intruding on personal space in those instances is not a property of being fat, and fatness should not be punished for crimes of which it is not guilty.
2. He ate more food than you thought was appropriate. What is it, specifically, that makes a portion size inappropriate? It's not as if he was eating someone else's food. Macaroni isn't one of those things the cafeteria is likely to run out of, and we're not exactly suffering from food shortages in this country. Maybe he was very hungry. Maybe he enjoys food. Is the appropriateness of a portion size dependent upon the measure of a person's size? Do you think fat people should be on diets until they get thin? Since you said that you think being fat is unhealthy, I would imagine you would answer "yes." If so, then: Is it so urgent to you that fat people diet, that you would feel entitled to pressure, shame, or coerce them into dieting? People do things all the time that we disapprove of. That's life. No one will find themselves in agreement with everyone all the time. In a free society, we reserve the right to control the actions of others only for those wrongdoings heinous enough to warrant this infringement of liberty. Was his presence at your lunch table an unacceptable, injurious disruption of your way of life? Probably not. Was he such a danger to himself that you felt compelled to judge the appropriateness of his portion sizes in the first place? Or were you just letting your personal disapproval transform into prejudice?
3. He fell asleep in the course of his meal. This fits right in with the stereotype that fat people are undisciplined slobs. I doubt that his actually falling asleep is what made you upset. People fall asleep in public all the time. So long as they're not driving vehicles or operating machinery at the time, that's okay. Instead, I think you interpreted these cues--a fat person falling asleep while eating--as an affirmation of that stereotype I mentioned. Now, maybe this person actually is an undisciplined slob. But maybe he's not. Maybe he has a medical problem--which may or may not be a product of his obesity. Or maybe he just didn't get enough sleep the previous night. Did you ask him? Probably not. But let's say he fell asleep because he's fat--which I gather is what you assumed at the time. There are a number of reasons by which that could happen. What is it about this possibility that frustrates you? Do you think that fat people who have lower energy levels or issues with fatigue have diminished their quality of life so badly that you cannot help but be disgusted with them? If so, why do you think that? What makes you so sure that their quality of life is so diminished? There are people who enjoy food so much that they're willing to trade thinness and even energy in exchange for a life of gustatory indulgence. For that matter, there are people who just like being fat. Maybe these are not choices you would make, because you have different set of motivations in life, but are they so abhorrent that no one can ever justifiably make them? Is eating to the point of obesity, or for the purpose of obesity, truly so ghastly? You called it "unnatural." We live in a society where the unnatural is the rule. There's no such thing as salami in nature. There's no such thing as video games. There's no such thing as school. We invented all of these things; none of them is "natural." Naturality is not a good criterion for measuring whether something is inappropriate, but people often use it anyway as an expression of disgust. What is about about fatness or overeating that disgusts you?
4. He interrupted your conversation with his snoring. It's true that being fat makes you more likely to snore. Also, his loud snoring may tie in with the fact that he fell asleep in the first place. Nevertheless, snoring is not something that only fat people do. It is a medical condition--a relatively benign one in most cases. It's a part of the spectrum of human behavior. Even if his snoring is the result of his obesity, does it make him such a bad person? If he was interrupting you with his snoring, you could simply have woken him up and told him that he was snoring too loudly. Why didn't you? It's not as if he was doing it on purpose. Being frustrated by someone else's snoring is self-defeating.
5. He is fat. I think that's what set you up to be frustrated in the first place. Prejudice against fat people is very widespread in our culture. We are conditioned to be repulsed by the sight of a fat person, and to immediately proceed to judgmentalism and even harassment. Next time you see a fat person and you feel this way, stop yourself and ask yourself where it comes from. Ask yourself if it's warranted.
Now...you can stop humoring me, and get back to your view that overeating while being fat is disgusting, unnatural, unhealthy, and self-destructive. From the context of that perspective, it's clear that you think excess fat on a person is a terrible thing, as is overeating while in a state of excess fatness. It's also fairly evident that you rationalize your view on the assertion that this is unhealthy and destructive to the individual. You use the same kind of language and imagery that I might use of a sexist. It's clear to me that, to you, an indulgent obese person is an enemy to you--not a sympathetic figure but a despicable one. Why is that? Tell me, if you're up to it, the grounds on which you assert that obesity is healthy, that overeating while obese is "killing yourself," and that fatness at worst is despicable rather than pitiable.
