CLOSED - RATE CROSS CHARACTERS 45: ZOAH

[ZeaLitY]

Evaluate Zoah based on his character design, combat usefulness, and Tilt factor -- which can mean anything, from how much he strikes you as cool to how important he is to the plot.

EVALUATE ZOAH BASED ON HIS CHARACTER DESIGN, COMBAT USEFULNESS, AND TILT FACTOR -- WHICH CAN MEAN ANYTHING HAHAHAHA ALL CAPS

http://www.chronocompendium.com/Term/Zoah.html

[nightmare975]

DESIGN: AHHH! AVERT YOUR EYES! HE'S WEARING A MASK AND THAT ABOUT IT. YUCK.

COMBAT: STRONG, BUT I NEVER REALLY LIKED CHARACTERS THAT USED GLOVES. TECHS WEREN'T THAT SPECIAL.

TILT: SERIOUSLY, WHY DID HE HAVE TO TALK LIKE THIS!?

FINAL GRADE: D

[Romana]

DESIGN: AHHHH HE'S NAKED

COMBAT: NEVER USED HIM

TILT: HE GETS ABSOLUTELY NO DEVELOPMENT BUT I LIKE ONE OF HIS LINES

   HMPH!
   WHAT MEANING IS THERE TO
   A LIFE OF STRIVING AFTER
   WEALTH AND POWER...?
   IT IS NO USE TO YOU ONCE
   YOU DIE!
   AS FOR ME, I CHOOSE TO
   LIVE IN BATTLE AND ONE
   DAY TO DIE IN BATTLE.

CAPS LOCK IS FUN

FINAL GRADE: D

[maggiekarp]

DESIGN: MEAT
COMBAT: RARGARGHAG
TILT: SHOUTING IS MY ACCENT, I COME FROM LOUDLANDIA

D

[Kyronea]

Character Design: He's a big Nordic-style muscle man...but what's with the helmet? It makes no sense if he's not wearing any other armor...

Combat Usefulness: Despite his overly muscular appearance, he's actually not that useful.

Tilt: My FUCK what were they THINKING?! Someone who speaks in ALL CAPS is not a good character. I don't care if it's simply to represent a really deep/loud voice...it's ridiculous. Nothing about him is worthwhile. Really, Chrono Cross team, you batted .000 here.

Final Grade: D.

[ZeaLitY]

YOU BROKE THE CHAIN

I WILL RESTORE IT

D

DESIGN: COOL

COMBAT: NOT AS COOL AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT

TILT: JEEZ, HE SOUNDS LIKE HE COULD BE SO INTERESTING AS A BYRONIC BATTLE HERO ADAPTATION OR SOMETHING WITH A DARK PAST AND SERIOUS REGRET, AND HIS LOOK OPENS HIM UP FOR A COOL DE-MASKING, BUT ALAS, THAT'S ABOUT IT.



Felicity Shagwell: I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s.
Austin: The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's...about...it.

[Kebrel]

DESIGN: ONE OF THE BETTER DESIGNS IN MY EYE, STRONG AND MYSTERIOUS.

COMBAT: WAS NOT QUITE ON PAR WITH HIS LOOKS.

TILT: A TRUE EXAMPLE OF RULES 30/31

C

[Radical_Dreamer]

DESIGN: HE LOOKS LIKE A BRUTE, SO, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED I GUESS.

COMBAT: I FELT NO PARTICULAR NEED TO USE HIM.

TILT: ANOTHER ONE OF THE "IT HAS A FACE IT JOINS YOUR PARTY" CHARACTERS. THIS THREAD IS POSSIBLY THE MOST LEGITIMITE USES OF CAPS-LOCK FOR SATIRE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET. BUT HE STILL GETS A...

d

[V_Translanka]

So, what? I underestimated it? Practically EVERYONE is rating Zoah in all CAPS...? w/e...It's beneath me as it's a far too obvious joke...OR IS IT?!?!

CHARACTER DESIGN - HE'S A MAMMOTH LOOKIN GUY WITH SCARS ALL OVER HIS BODY, A WEIRD LITTLE SKIRT THAT COVERS HIS UNDEROOS 3/4 OF THE WAY...OH, AND A HELMET...OOOOOOOOOO...THAT ADDS MYSTERY! HIS ORIGINAL DESIGN IS SIMILAR THOUGH MINUS THE SCARS, MINUS THE GIANT SPIKY THING OVER ONE SHOULDER, AND HIS HELMET, I THINK, LOOKED COOLER.

COMBAT USEFULNESS - OH! HE USES GLOVES! HOW ORIGINAL! DRAGONRIDER...KIND OF LAME. GYRONIMO...BASIC, BUT ALMOST COOL. TOSS&SPIKE...A VOLLEYBALL MOVE?!?

TILT FACTOR - HIS "ACCENT" AM MAKES ME WANT TALK LIKE HULK OR MAYBE IT AM NOT BIZZARO. HE'S BASICALLY A WOLVERINE CHARACTER, SUPPOSED TO BE ALL BADASS & NO PAST, BUT EVEN MARVEL EVENTUALLY CAVED AND GAVE THE LIL CANUCK (MAN, HOW HORRIBLE WOULD IT HAVE BEEN IF THEY'D MADE WOLVERINE FROM TEXAS??? GLAD THAT GOT SCRAPPED BEFORE ORIGIN CAME OUT) AN ORIGIN. SO, IN CLOSING, ZOAH IS BEST LEFT AS AN NPC AT BEST...BUT REALLY, THEY COULD HAVE JUST SAID THREE DIVAS AND THE GAME WOULDN'T HAVE REALLY CHANGED (IN FACT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MADE THE BETTER FOR THE SUBTRACTION).

FINAL GRADE - D