Ugh, my posts are more confusing than anything now; my theory of the minute is that the red screen problem is definitely associated with models of 0x11000 size and greater -- adding a non-glove weapon to such a model will produce the red screen. By "0x11000 size" here, I'm talking about models for which the pointer would indicate a size of 0x11000, not the model's actual size.
I say this because now I've got a normal Serge who gets the red screen if not assigned a glove weapons pack. I can give him swallows and it'll red screen now, because I've specified pointers leaving 0x11000 bytes' worth of room for the model.
I consider this slightly promising, at least for the prospect of playable Dario, Slash, Flea, and Ozzie. I'm toying with the idea of trimming down Dark Serge's model by getting rid of the "vestigial data that doesn't matter" (VDDM) section of the model, and seeing if I can get rid of a few sectors that way.
It should be noted that in the Viper example I used earlier to "prove" myself wrong that it was a size issue, Viper's model is smaller in terms of bytes than Dark Serge's; the total space devoted to Viper's weapon model comes mostly from the weapons pack. Ugh, confuzzling.
If I have immediate success getting Slash, Flea, Ozzie, and (hopefully) Dario playable, I'll chalk the Dark Serge problems up to a technical limitation of the routine used to load up player character models I guess. I'm still not quite satisifed with that explanation because it would be weird (?) for the game engine to use two separate routines for loading player models v. enemy models.