Dumb things said by teachers.

[x_XTacTX_x]

Have you ever been sitting in class, and heard your teacher or professor spout out something laughably inane? Here's a few gems I've had;

"Well, it's not like you see any negative letters." - AP Algebra II teacher, explaining why negative numbers "Don't Exist".

"Don't believe anything your friend's tell you, more than 3 beers WILL kill you." Fifth Grade D.A.R.E. Instructor.

"No, not good enough, go draw something else or you fail." Seventh Grade Art teacher, responding to my question as I pointed to a picture in the textbook.

"No, you can't use beige. Da Vinci only used primary colors, you should do fine." Another Seventh grade Art Teacher quote.

"Bisexuality is a myth. It's been proven impossible." Sex ED speaker last year, after I told her of my orientation.

"No, it's impossible for a comet to hit Earth. The atmosphere would erode it away" My current Physics teacher.

[teaflower]

Watson (French I): "Turn to page cinq-cent-huit. (for non-Frenchies, it's 508.) Turn to page five hundred nine."

Beyer (Latin): "During the Cultural Revolution of China, they threw out everything old and bad, but they had nothing new and good to bring in. So, they called in a bunch of English teachers, and I was one of them."

[Lakonthegreat]

If you have sex without a condom, you WILL get AIDS. - 7th grade health teacher.

You MUST tuck your shirt in, or you will fail this grade. - 4th grade teacher. Public school, mind you.

I don't care how you slice it, nothing can exist at Absolute Zero. - 11th grade chem teacher.

I don't care if you are pregnant, you better still be able to run a mile by the end of this semester. - freshman gym teacher to one of my friends.

[BROJ]

I don't care how you slice it, nothing can exist at Absolute Zero. - 11th grade chem teacher.

Actually, that one is valid; absolute zero is known to behave like a limit, in that the temperature of matter can only approach 0 Kelvin(-273.15 Celsius), but never really reach it as it would take infinite energy, using whatever technology one would use(lasers, magnets, refrigeration, etc.), for matter to reach a temperature of absolute zero.

[kritterpher]

  one of my teacher's said that you can drop out if you have plan

[x_XTacTX_x]

  one of my teacher's said that you can drop out if you have plan

Unless you heard that in say, sixth grade, that's actually pretty true. It's difficult, but true.

[Daniel Krispin]

Have you ever been sitting in class, and heard your teacher or professor spout out something laughably inane? Here's a few gems I've had;

"Well, it's not like you see any negative letters." - AP Algebra II teacher, explaining why negative numbers "Don't Exist".

"Don't believe anything your friend's tell you, more than 3 beers WILL kill you." Fifth Grade D.A.R.E. Instructor.

"No, not good enough, go draw something else or you fail." Seventh Grade Art teacher, responding to my question as I pointed to a picture in the textbook.

"No, you can't use beige. Da Vinci only used primary colors, you should do fine." Another Seventh grade Art Teacher quote.

"Bisexuality is a myth. It's been proven impossible." Sex ED speaker last year, after I told her of my orientation.

"No, it's impossible for a comet to hit Earth. The atmosphere would erode it away" My current Physics teacher.

Actually, unless it were a massive comet of some sort, I think the last one of these is true. Note it's a comet, not an asteroid. Asteroids themselves burn up a great portion of their mass on entry (that is, many of them don't even strike the earth), and they are made of rock and metals. Comets, on the other hand, are largely ice. To come through the atmosphere would likely erode away a great deal of one, if not the entirety... of course, it does depend on the size and the angle of entry.

You know, I cannot remember the last time a teacher said something stupid to me. I guess I've had some pretty good teachers over the years who know their stuff. Oh, there are the occassional slip up or (as is more likely.) For example, I'll dispute what my history of technology professor was saying regarding, say, military armour and weapons a few years ago. That is, that the west didn't have stirrups until they got them from the Chinese... yet the Scythians did make use of them, and they were a group in continual contact with the west. So I'm not sure what to think about that. But by and large, the teachers are excellent, and I've not heard mine say anything too weird.

[Lakonthegreat]

I don't care how you slice it, nothing can exist at Absolute Zero. - 11th grade chem teacher.

Actually, that one is valid; absolute zero is known to behave like a limit, in that the temperature of matter can only approach 0 Kelvin(-273.15 Celsius), but never really reach it as it would take infinite energy, using whatever technology one would use(lasers, magnets, refrigeration, etc.), for matter to reach a temperature of absolute zero.

Bose-Einstein Condensate.

Let the education ensue lol.

[Agent 12]

Real (professors)  teachers start at college.....everything before that is a joke.

--JP

[Thought]

"The book is wrong." ~ my high school Physics teacher when I showed him the exact page in the textbook that proved that my answer on a test was right)

"Postmodernism..." ~ Several teachers, actually.

There are a few others dumb things that I could relate, but those are closer to stories than specific phrases.

Real (professors)  teachers start at college.....everything before that is a joke.

As is much after that. Real education starts with the individual, regardless of if they are in college or jr. high.

Bose-Einstein Condensate.

Let the education ensue lol.

I thought that only described matter as it approached 0 K, not actually at 0 K. An important difference.

[KebreI]

  one of my teacher's said that you can drop out if you have plan

Whoa new sig and such, did you make that at home or did you find it?

[BROJ]

I don't care how you slice it, nothing can exist at Absolute Zero. - 11th grade chem teacher.

Actually, that one is valid; absolute zero is known to behave like a limit, in that the temperature of matter can only approach 0 Kelvin(-273.15 Celsius), but never really reach it as it would take infinite energy, using whatever technology one would use(lasers, magnets, refrigeration, etc.), for matter to reach a temperature of absolute zero.
Bose-Einstein Condensate.

Let the education ensue lol.

...Indeed.

A Bose–Einstein condensate (BEC) is a state of matter of bosons confined in an external potential and cooled to temperatures very near to absolute zero (0 K, −273.15 °C, or −459.67 °F ). Under such supercooled conditions, a large fraction of the atoms collapse into the lowest quantum state of the external potential, at which point quantum effects become apparent on a macroscopic scale.

Edit: also, on the subject of BEC:

In June 1995 our research group at the Joint Institute for Laboratory Astrophysics (now called JILA) in Boulder, Colo., succeeded in creating a minuscule but marvellous droplet. By cooling 2,000 rubidium atoms to a temperature less than 100 billionths of a degree above absolute zero (100 billionths of a degree kelvin), we caused the atoms to lose for a full 10 seconds their individual identities and behave as though they were a single "superatom." The atoms' physical properties, such as their motions, became identical to one another.This Bose-Einstein condensate (BEC), the first observed in a gas, can be thought of as the matter counterpart of the laser-except that in the condensate it is atoms, rather than photons, that dance in perfect unison.

also as Thought said,

I thought that only described matter as it approached 0 K, not actually at 0 K. An important difference.

it's a mater of basic Calculus(Pre-Calculus even) that if we describe the energy input and the effect output, in terms of x and y, respectively of a function─it is only as x, the energy input, approaches ∞ that y, the effect/temperature achieved, reaches 0. And since infinity is not technically a number in the traditional sense, it will never reach zero.

[Zakyrus]

I don't care if you are pregnant, you better still be able to run a mile by the end of this semester. - freshman gym teacher to one of my friends.

That's horrible! (lawsuit!) ...anyways, in spite of it's atrociousness, it is extremely funny. 

~Z

[ONSLAUGHT]

In response to me asking if report cards and five week reports are sent out at vacations on purpose...
"Oh yes, it's somewhat a form of either punishment or reward for you."- 10th grade level office secretary

"You can bring in anything as long as it's French."
"Anything?"
"Anything."-9th grade French teacher

Not sure if they'd count but...
"Who's that yelling?! Tell them to shut the f*ck up! Damn 1st graders... Agh, damn hangovers..." - 1st-4th grade bus driver, during 4th grade(we got him fired, after he really got angry one day, and I almost got in a fight with them)

[teaflower]

The one of the book being wrong is just horrible. I hate poor teachers. Mainly because it gives my aspiring career a bad name. But, in general, it just sends the message that the teachers of our youth are uneducated themselves.

The most annoying and disgraceful thing that has ever happened with me and any teacher is with a teacher (especially English teachers) and documents. Not just ANY documents, mind you. Documents riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. RIDDLED. Grammar is such a big thing with me. I saw a sign in the girl's bathroom today about a lost wallet. Apparently, the girl left her wallet, most likely with money and credit cards and I.D. in it, in a bathroom in a school with behavioral problems. Ha. I took a pen to it and added editing marks.