Dumb things said by teachers.

[ZeaLitY]

ASSOME

-By one teacher who wanted to write "AWESOME"

[x_XTacTX_x]

Note the five hundred essay. Page? Word? I dunno. ... syllable?

 Just write 500 letters. "Go to hell", over and over again should suffice.

[Shadow D. Darkman]

Note the five hundred essay. Page? Word? I dunno. ... syllable?

 Just write 500 letters. "Go to hell", over and over again should suffice.

More than likely it's pages. That, or words. Pages is longer I think, but IDK.

[chrono eric]

OK I've got two great ones. Two of the dumbest things I've ever heard any human being utter came from teachers that should have known better:

1) "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed...except in chemical reactions" - This is from a university chemistry teacher. I think he was confusing exothermic reactions with the creation of energy, instead of the release of energy.

....but the "Fucktard of the Universe" ^TM award officially goes to the following "abnormal psychology" professor:

2) "Don't let anyone tell you that you can't die from marijuana. A marijuana joint contains 1/20th the amount of carcinogens as a cigarette. Weed will give you lung cancer. That's why it should stay illegal!"

...which is a 100% factual statement. The problem? People that smoke cigarettes often smoke at least three a day (conservative estimate). Unless my math is failing me, that would mean that an individual would have to smoke 60 joints a day to inhale the same amount of carcinogens as what is found in those three cigarettes. Congratulations, you fail at life.

[teaflower]

Note the five hundred essay. Page? Word? I dunno. ... syllable?

 Just write 500 letters. "Go to hell", over and over again should suffice.

More than likely it's pages. That, or words. Pages is longer I think, but IDK.

Well, it doesn't matter. She's a bitch and I refuse to write that paper.

I actually received another gem from my former fellow Frenchies. ... yay, alliteration!
Essentially, she said a couple of days ago that they would have a test on the first four chapters of their French book, but they didn't need to worry about it because it was in a while. Next day, she said, 'You have to study, study, study! The test is this Friday!'

... that doesn't seem like a while...

"Look, teacher! I made negative numbers!" That was me in, like, second grade. We were doing subtracting and I switched the numbers.
"We'll be doing that later. Stop it." That was teacher. We didn't do that later and I forgot it.

"Dude, are you going to do work or go to Myspace?"
"Myspace." Conversation here in the computer lab. Mind you, we have proxies that are stupid. I'm going to go check my Yahoo email, but I can't look up colleges. Go figure, eh?

[Sajainta]

I couldn't pass this topic up...

One from a professor::

"You're going to do a project on your high school in Hong Kong.  So it's going to be in Korean?"  - Art professor my freshman year of college to another student.

One from a student::

"Was Socrates religious?  Like, did he believe in Jesus?"  - Kid in my philosophy class last semester.

I practically had to eat my fist to keep myself from erupting into laughter.

[Radical_Dreamer]

"Was Socrates religious?  Like, did he believe in Jesus?"  - Kid in my philosophy class last semester.

I practically had to eat my fist to keep myself from erupting into laughter.

Well, he was accused of being an atheist... 

[ZealKnight]

by students? got one!

"Whos Christopher Columbus? We celebrate a day for him. I think thats wrong because the Indians discovered America first." Poor dumb girl.

OH! my favorite one.

"What does biology have to do with life?" different dumb girl

[Sajainta]

I attended a high school where I was taught in biology class that evolution was a lie.

'Nuff said.

[ZombieBucky]

i had an english teacher who called a quesiton mark the 's dot mark'.
one of my classmates in biology once asked why birth is painful. the teacher responded, 'because darwin hates you.'

[neo-fusion]

This wasn't being dumb or anything, but my teacher put this.

"One girl who took this test once put this for Virginia..." He proceeded to write "Vogina" on the board.

Everyone cracked up and it was a class of all guys. In 8th grade they decided to split up boys and girls for whatever reason... (Maybe because boys and girls grow things around that time, just a guess.)

[ZealKnight]

I attended a high school where I was taught in biology class that evolution was a lie.

'Nuff said.

In Kansas? It's illegal there right?

[Sajainta]

In Kansas? It's illegal there right?

I would have no idea.  I don't live in Kansas.  Where did you get the impression that I lived in Kansas?