Although I've played Demiforce's translated version for several times, and noticed some differences between it and the original one, but most of them don't change the story much.
In scenario 'The Shadow Realm and the Goddess of Death', things are different. According to the translated version, shadow hunter Magil fought Lilith and eventually won, but then he's counter attacked by Lilith and had to go back into the Shadow Realm with her.
However, in original story, he was sort of cold-blooded. He won the battle, and abandoned his comrades.
I tried to translate some script, but sorry, my English is not that good.
This section is when Magil battles Lilith.
「リリス様を見つけた今となっては、
おまえたちに利用価値はない。命ぐらい
自分で守れ！」
"Since I have already found Lilith, you guys are completely useless to me. Watch out your own lives!"
Kid's souls has solidified into the Fozen Flame. And Magil finally wins the battle.
ギルはするするとその影を巻き取って、
胸にしまった。
Magil rolls the shadow(Lilith) up and puts it under his bosom.
影をしまったギルの懐から、すすり泣き
が聞こえる。
I hears the shadow sobs under Magil's clothes.
「もう、この光あふれる世界を去らねば
ならぬのか？ せめて、ひとめでいい。
朝日が見たかった……」
"Could it be that I can no longer see this bright world? I still want to see the sunrise again..."
「おあきらめ下さい。陛下が首を長くして、
お帰りを待ちわびておられますゆえ」
"Give up that thought. His Majesty is wating for us."
冷たくギルは言った。
Magil says coldly.
影のなかに去ろうとするギル。
He steps towards the shadow...
「待って！ キッドを元に戻して！」
"Wait! Please restore Kid! "
ボクは影に滑り込むギルを、力任せに
引っ張った。
I pull Magil, who's slipping into the shadow.
「それは、おまえの仕事だ。おまえの
想いで、凍りついたキッドの魂を解凍
するんだ」
"That's your own bussiness. Use your affection to thaw the Frozen Flame which holds Kid's soul."
ぶっきらぼうにギルが言った。
Magil says snappishly.
「考えてることのすべてをぶつけろ」
"You'd better give it up."
---------------------
Edit*
OK, I will update the topic when I find something new.
http://www.chronocompendium.com/Forums/index.php?topic=6362.0In the secret elevator to the underground:
Translated version:
(choice 1)*"Why bring us here, Kid? Is it fate?"
(choice 2)*"Don't worry, we can't lose, there's no doubt!"
[choice 1]
"...... Fate...? Life...? I don't even know anymore. But with Lynx, nothin's set in stone.
But... sometimes, it feels like there's somethin' inside me, guidin' me... no matter what I do, it won't matter because I know it'll be showin' me what to do next...
Bah, what am I sayin'... crazy talk," Kid says, smiling faintly.
................
[choice 2]
"Whatever," Kid says beneath her breath, smiling faintly. "Sayings like those never made much sense to me. There's never a case where there ain't a doubt. Not a single one.
But... thanks, mate."
................
Here's the original script and my ugly translation.
Also this might be one of the favorite part of this game, especially the lines which sounds like those in Lucca's letter..
(choice 1) ・何を相手にして？
Who's that opponent？
(choice 2) ・ボクらは必ず勝つよ。
We will certainly win.
[choice 1]
「その戦いの相手というのは、何なの、
キッド？」
"Who's that opponent(were you talking about), Kid?"
「…………。
さあ……、何だろ……？
運命……？
人生……？
自分でも、よくわからない……。
でも、ヤマネコとか、そーいった具体的
なヤツじゃ、ないんだ。
うまく言えないんだけど、オレのなか
にもう一人のオレがいて、自分のやって
ることの空しさ、愚かさを、じっと見つめ
てる……、そんな気がするんだ。
おかしな話だよな……」
"....
Ah...who?
Fate...?
Life...?
I'm not sure for myself...
But I didn't mean Lynx or any specific thing.
I can't explain that well...sometimes I feel like there's another myself inside me, it is always watching, quietly, no matter how stupid my actions are...
I feel... it sounds like a funny story..."
そう言って、キッドはかすかな微笑みを
浮かべた。
Kid says with a faint smile on her face.
...............
[choice 2]
「心配いらないよ。
キッドは……、ボクらは、負けない。
勝つよ、必ず！」
"Don't worry.Kid..., we, won't lose. We'll win, certainly!"
「フ……、バカだな」
"You stupid..."
キッドは、やさしく微笑む。
Kid replies with a faint smile.
「この世には、”必ず”とか”絶対”とか、
言いきれるものなんか、ないんだよ。
なにひとつ、な。
でも…… ありがとう、セルジュ」
"In this world, there's no such things as 'certain' or 'absolute',no one can make such an assertion, no matter who. But....thank you, Serge."
........
-------------------------------------------------------------
In scenario 'Homecoming: Shea's Light'.
When they got trapped inside the manor:
Translated:
"We're never gonna get outta here. People have probably been trapped here their whole lives... or longer..."
"Relax, mate. We got enough food here to last us a while."
...Funny, that didn't really relax me very much...
Original:
「一生、この館から出れないだけだ」
"We'll be trapped in this house for the rest of our lives."
「あんまりうれしくない結果だな」
"That's not a pleasant result."
「安心しろ、飯抜きの一生なんて一週間
くらいで終わる」
"Relax, a life without food won't be longer than a week(will end in a week, literally)."
……安心できない……
...How can I relax...
-----------------------------------
This is when they meet Mirror of Whispers for the last time, right after Kid scares Serge's heck out of him by saying that Lynx is in that room.
You'll see the mirror invites Kid first, who thinks for a while and lets Serge go first(really wicked IMO...). And in fact, Serge is not pulled in at all, the mirror kills herself instead.
Translated
.........................
"Ah, Master Serge. Is there something I can answer for you?" the statue asks in a pleasant voice. "Or, perhaps, you'd be interested in this lovely gift I have for you?"
"Huh? A gift?"
"Only a modest token of my appreciation for you and your comrades. I present you with a personal invitation into the Realm of the Looking Glass, if you are interested."
"Wow, really?"
"Yes, but we must hurry. Time is of the essence."
I look towards the dark, rippling surface of the mirror. Slowly, I reach my hand out towards it.
It feels like my hand is being submerged in water, passing straight into the mirror...
Suddenly, there's a slight pull. I try to retract my arm, but the harder I pull, the further I seem to be getting drawn in...
"Master Serge! Take your hand out, quickly!!"
Just then, a crack streaks across the mirror!
"What's... going on!?"
Amidst my struggling, I see a crack start to streak down the mirror's glass...
"Save yourself, Master Serge... Please, before I am forced to consume you..."
"What!?"
Kid starts pulling with me, despite the increasing force drawing me in! I'm now up to my shoulder in this thing!
"On the count of three," I yell!
"One, two, three!!"
We tumble backwards, falling onto the couch. I look at my arm in a daze. It's fine.
Shaking myself off, I return to the mirror, now even more cracked since I last saw it.
.......................
Original
.................
「まあ！ そんなことおっしゃられたら、
お連れの方が気を悪くされますわよ」
"Oh! You have an ill sense of humour. "
ビーナスがいたずらっぽく笑う。
Venus laughs mischievously.
「なんだって？」
"What?"
ピクっとキッドの表情が、こわばった。
Kid responses with a stiffened face.
「なんでオレが、怒るんだよ！？」
"Why me!?(You enraged me)"
「そう熱くならないでくださいませ。
皆様に、素敵なプレゼントがございます
のよ」
"Don't be so sensitive.
I have a nice gift for everyone."
「プレゼント？」
"Gift?"
「と言ってもささやかな物ですけれど。
鏡のなかを、体験していただくのも一
興かと思いまして」
"Although it might be too trivial to metion.
But it'll be an interesting experience visiting the Mirror Realm."
「鏡の国に招待してくれるってのか？」
"You invite us to the Mirror Realm?"
キッドはちょっと乗り気のようだ。
Kid asks curiously.
「お時間はとらせませんわ。
さあ、キッド様。どうぞ……」
"We have limited time.
So, Master Kid. Please..."
鏡面が水のように波うった。
The mirror ripples like the water surface.
キッドは言われるまま、鏡の表面に手
を伸ばしかけ、ふとその手を止めた。
Hearing that, Kid extends her hand towards the mirror,
but suddenly, she stops.
少しの間なにか考えるようにした後、
キッドは手を引っ込めてしまった。
She thinks for a while, then retrieves her hand back.
「セルジュ、ゆずるよ。
おまえ、鏡のお気に入りだしな」
"Serge, I'll leave this chance to you(I give up, literaly).
It seems you are more interested by that mirror."
「え、ほんと？ いいの？」
ボクはキッドに聞いた。
"Oh really?"
I ask Kid.
キッドが首を縦にふったので、ボクは
わくわくしながら鏡に手をあてた。
Kid nods her head, so I extend my hand to the mirror.
ひんやりした水のような感触だ。
It feels like the cold water surface.
「セルジュ様、いけない！！」
"Mr Serge, no!!"
とつぜん鏡にヒビが走る！
A crack appears on the mirror.
「……！！
これは……！？」
"....!!
what...!?"
鏡の中でビーナスが、涙を流していた。
Venus sobs in the mirror, tears run down her face.
「わたくしは……、ヤマネコの手下です」
"I am...I'm a servant of Lynx."
............................
-----------------------------------
Some cat stuff. Those are not that important to the story though, but I think they are interesting to metion.
In Esmeld's room.
In the original script, Kid throws the knife at Esmeld, Esmeld blocks it with his book and tosses it back, Kid catches the knife, then...
キッドの目つきが変わる。注意深く獲物
を観察する猫のそれになった。
Kid's expression changes, like a cat who's staring at its prey vigilantly.
At the tea table.
ふと、キッドの方を見ると、カップに息を
吹きかけている。
キッドは思いっ切り猫舌だから、すぐに
は飲めない。
I glances at Kid, whe's blowing into the tea cup, like a cat that's licking hot food carefully.
In a Goblin battle.
バチ！
一種の猫だましだ。思った通り、ゴブリ
ンの手の力が弛む。
[Serge slaps into the Goblin's face.]
This is a trick of cat. But as I expected, the Goblin looses its grasp.
About Kitsune Forest.
Kitsune means fox in Japanese(foxes are famous protagonists in oriental legends, like ghost stories.).
The original name in the script is キツネコブタ, which is an interesting word.
キツネ/Kitsune means fox.
ネコ/Neko means cat.
ブタ/Buta means pig.
But I don't know the exactly meaning of this word, but of course, it is sort of animal.
This world is used not only for the name of that forest, though. When Kid sees the old lady in the clock tower storage room disappears, she's surprised. The scripts says:
キッドは、きょとんとキツネコブタにつま
まれたような顔をしていた。
The (surprised) expression on Kid's face looks like she's caught by a kitsunekobuta(キツネコブタ) .
In scenerio 'Giga Weapon Paradise X', when they return from the Arena.
ボクは、なんだかキツネコブタにつまま
れたような気分だ。
I feel as if we got caught by a kitsunekobuta just now.
IMO, 'get caught by a kitsunekobuta' is something like 'meet a ghost' or 'see an illusion'.
(In some oriental tales, a traveller finds a house in the mountain and gets invited by the host, by after he wakes up, he finds himself sleeping on the ground, there's no house at all, we can say he meets a 'fox/kitsune').
-----------------------------------------------
In the torture chamber, when you choose to stab the ceiling with the Einlanzer...
In translated version, congratulations, you die.
"Okay! Let's smash the ceiling!" I shout, swinging the sword over my head!
The wooden structure shatters from the huge sword's impact! A number of rusty blades are now in free-fall, headed straight for us!!
I try to protect myself, but the dozens of tiny razor sharp blades painfully tear into me!
In original version, you won't die immediately, instead, you lose 10 HP.
「よし、この剣で天井を打ち砕いてや
る！！」
"OK, let's break the ceiling with this sword!!"
ボクは、剣を上に突き上げた！
I thrust upward fiecely with the sword.
ガガガ……！！
[Sound of metal collision]
天井から突き出た無数の刃にはねと
ばされ、ボクは床に転がった！
But it's deflected by countless blades in the ceiling, and I fall on the ground.
---------------------------------------------------
Mouth of Truth.
In original script, the lipstick has special usage.
.......
「オレの口紅～っ！！」
"My lipstick!!"
真っ赤に艶めく髭老人の唇に、キッド
の怒りが大爆発する。
Seeing the red lips of the beard-oldman, Kid explodes in anger.
「いいじゃないか、キッド、お化粧なんて
しないんだから」
"What's wrong, Kid, isn't that how cosmetics are used for?"
「その紅はなぁ、迷いやすい道とかで、
マーキングに使うんだよ！」
"This lipstick is used for drawing marks just in case we lose our way."
.......
Also the file, it is not a nail file.
「命の次に大事な、７つ道具のヤスリ
がーーーーッ！！！」
"As one of the 7 tools, only life is more important than that file!!!"
And after you put the hand shaped plate into the Mouth of Truth, it begins to mutter.
Surely, it means those strange symbols written on the plate.
……これこそ、まさに大宇宙の究極の真理……
...This is it, the ultimate truth of the universe...
Then it swallows the plate, Magil says:
「この世の真理に、さすがの真実の口も舌を巻いたみたいだな」
"Seeing the truth of the world, even the Mouth of Truth will coil its tongue up. "
ギルが、冗談とも本気ともつかないことを、まじめな口調で言う。
Even when making a joke like this, Magil still uses his usual serious tone.
「この世の真理だって？ あの象形文字
が？ しくじった！ うつしとっときゃ
高く売れたかもしれないのに！」
"The truth of the world? Those pictograph characters? Damn it! We could sell it for a high price!"
悔しそうにキッドがパチッと、指を鳴らす。
Kid says, snapping her fingers, regrettably.
