I was hoping for money, females, liquor, power, fighter jets, book deals, my own pipe organ, Lord J action figure merchandise contracts, a federal bailout, an orbital Death Ray, and the friggin' Moon Pearl so I can turn back into a human already!!
Instead, all I got was some "holiday cheer" from lousy peace-wishers. Ooh! I wish I had my Death Ray...
Oh, and I got some chocolate, some fruits, a calendar, and a gift certificate.