First, I might have to steal this topic title for a sig line. It made me laugh.
Second: I've had three forms of illness that might merit mention.
3) Cancer. Actually, it wasn't that bad and I got better. Largely a positive and formative experience in my life.
2) Kidney Stone. Caused by the chemotherapy for the above. Worst pain ever. Seriously, women who have squeezed out 12 lb babies will tell you that kidney stone pain is worse. I actually passed out from the pain.
1) The second week of October 2006 will forever be known as the week from hell. It culminated in illness, but to fully understand the subtle bouquet and craptacularness, you need to know the background: I bought a DVD that didn't work, so I returned it to the store. Came out and... car wouldn't start. Called for a tow truck, a punk little car showed up instead -- the people I had called thought it was a dead battery. Well it wasn't, so that 1.5 hours was a waste. Called again and a real tow truck was sent. Went out to eat at Olive Garden while we waited. Tow truck came, the guy whacked the starter. Apparently dirt had gotten in it preventing it from turning over. Well, didn't need the tow, but we took it straight to a mechanic. Luckily we had two vehicles. A day later we went to pick up my car (and by car I totally mean minivan), and was returning to work when my wife called. Her car broke... in the middle of an intersection, as she was making a turn. Got it into a parking lot, luckily, but this is in the area of town where people get shot (well, one of those areas at least). So I turned around and went to wait for the tow truck with her. After 4 hours of the tow truck exiting the freeway on non-existent exits (we called to find out what was taking so long and got fake answers), he showed up and first didn't believe us that the car (and by car I totally mean truck) was broken. He turned it on with no problem. Except the problem wasn't with the engine starting, rather it was with all those belts in the engine not being on their proper track, at all. So, tow back to our mechanic. Next day, picked up the truck and everything looked good. Day after, threw up. For three days I could barely stand up from being hunched over the toilet. Eat? Forget about it. I did get a prescription to help with the nausea, but by the time it was filled I was already over it. Luckily my wife was there to help me. Unluckily she caught what I had and spent the next two days hunched over the toilet (but she had my prescription, so it was better for her). This happened one week after I was hired at a new job (and thus didn't have sick time yet). The second week of October 2007 wasn't as craptacular, but near it.