... ugh.
One, I'm pretty sure he said he's from South Carolina. I already have one friend from S.C., and one is enough. Plus, he's cuter and more likely to do my bidding than Shadow.
Two, Shadow's picture is too hairy for his own good. He must shave it all. No! He must WAX IT ALL. Cumcere... hee hee hee... He's also too zitty. Like my brother. He's also a little bigger than I like my men. If he's the scrawny nerdy type, then he's not for me. I like my men slender, but muscular. If he's the 11 year old type, then he's not for me, as I'm not into little kids.
Three, I'd rather cut his parts off than do anything else with them. I'd also rather cut his head off than look at it. And if he even tried to touch me, his hands are going as well.
Four, I HATE DARKMAN. Saying I'd hook up with him is like saying eric would (forgive me if this is considered mean to you, eric) hook up with a five year old boy.
Five, I HATE DARKMAN. You truly don't understand this, do you?
And if anyone says, 'I think the lady doth protest too much' or anything along those lines, I'll make sure that you CAN'T speak!