XD The problem with the "nice guys" complaining about "shallow women" (no offense, Truthordeal) is usually because there's a lack of self-respect, much less actually respecting a woman: you simply let them walk over you. In any case, we've all been there (including the women in similar situations, I suppose), so don't worry.
I think I'll be concise here rather post a text wall: based on evolutionary traits, a lot of times masculine and manipulative "jerks" seem attractive to many partners because strength of character and self-respect triumphs in social fields and competence. But there's another facet a lot of people miss: women are usually attracted towards men with feminine traits for their sensitivity, kindness and understanding. Unlike relationship with abusive jerks, relationship with feminine men seem to last longer (at least from my research). Femininity pertains to gentleness and honesty, and hence often fidelity. Sincerity wins always.
But of course, even feminine men require sufficient confidence. Without self-respect, and respect for the partner, things go crazy, be it jerk or nice, man or woman. A person doesn't need to be a jerk, or pretend to be a nice guy. Just go out there and honestly socialize and have fun, doesn't matter who. Know each others' feelings, and remember that every friend matters. And more importantly, be yourself!