Fuck Sexism

[FaustWolf]

Become executive director of UNIFEM.

*Sniff* And to think, just a few months ago people were probably saying: Moderator of /feminisms/? Him? Naaaah.

Twenty to thirty years from now, we may be due for another oh snaaaap moment! Double oh snaaaap if he does it in ten.

[ZombieBucky]

ugh.
i saw a few commercials for the super bowl while waiting for the playstation to free up. one of them featured a man and his girlfriend/wife/female companion. she had apparently dragged him to the store to go get stuff for her and was so cruel as to not let him watch the game on the large televisions. the add was for a phone that you could watch tv on. that way when the woman does this again you can simply not care and watch muscular men in tight clothes bash into each other.
really.
men cant simply say that we dont want to do this again, or at least that we want to watch the game?
is it so unmanly to communicate our desires? are we that selfish that everyone around us must KNOW what we feel and want every waking second? and if you dont know that youre a horrible person and a shrew?
ugh.

[FaustWolf]

Zombie, did you happen to see a Mr/Mrs Potato Head commercial where Mrs Potato Head kept harping incessantly on Mr, until her mouth fell off? Way to go, Superbowl ads -- let's just reinforce all these sexist impressions of behavioral tropes, why don't we?

[GenesisOne]

What about the ads depicting men constantly snacking on Doritos and downing bottle after bottle of Budweiser no matter what the social context?  I'd call that a "sexist impression of behavioral tropes".

[FaustWolf]

I agree. It's interesting what role economics plays in perpetuating these things, now that you mention those examples.

[GenesisOne]

Yeah.  Especially around Christmas time:

A Christmas program extolling love and charity interrupted every 7-10 minutes with commercials extolling greed and waste.  Nice to know the spirit of the season to brought to us by snack and beer conglomerates.

[Shee]

I agree. It's interesting what role economics plays in perpetuating these things, now that you mention those examples.

A lot of these gripes are legit.  The whole "girl drags guy away from game" is old, outdated, and less and less true than ever.  But it did/does exist.  Not saying that's good or bad, because honestly I thnk it's a mixed can.  It's an exagerration at this point, is that a good thing?  Is it reinforcing sexist values or poking fun at a fading stereotype?

As an actor, notably one who took part in the Doritos Super Bowl competition, I had some questions.  Oh, first let me give you our premise.  I was hanging out with a woman who's head was a Dorito (awesome makeup job) and it was silly-sensual like and then my (assumed)wife/girlfriend walks in on us, obviously upset....until she has a Dorito...tada!

Anyway, what of the actors?  Personally, that's massive...maaaassssive exposure and a good/at least decent payday not to mention siging a union contract, which CAN be a great thing.  This is something I would go for.  I quoted Faust above because my "personal economics" has a huge stake in the mess of it all.

As far as snacking on Doritos and drinkin' some Buds...well sheeeeit pardner it's the Super Bowl.  'Tis meant for snacking.

[Thought]

It's basic pavlovian training. People watch the super bowl and snack. The snacking produces a pleasant hormonal rush which helps connect the two, making people like the super bowl, which in turn causes them to want to watch it, and when they watch it they desire to snack. It is a dastardly plot. I would even go so far as to say it is a Dick Dastardly plot!

[Zephira]

I don't really get the whole "woman drags man away from super bowl" thing. It's a Sunday afternoon, what else would you be doing then? I like the Super Bowl because of the Little Smokies, the nachos, the devilled eggs, the clam dip, and all the other fun little foods that come with it. The commercials can be pretty entertaining sometimes, too, like that one phone commercial that had Gary Brolsma and the Chocolate Rain guy. It's a good time for the family to get together and watch/ignore the game (I just read comics through the whole thing) and eat food. It's like a holiday without any of the holy stuff.

[Sajainta]

It's like a holiday without any of the holy stuff.

That amuses me to no end.  It's strange to me how much importance people here place on sports.  Although they did the same thing in the UK too.  No one in my family cares all that much about sports, and so to see people go all up in arms over the Super Bowl and treat it like a holiday is just weird for us.

[Zephira]

See, I don't give a rats ass about football, or most sports. I don't know how the game is played, I don't know why they keep running back and forth, I don't even know what the positions are or what the teams are called. I just know you have to cheer and take a shot (coca cola!) when they score a touchdown. It's just entertaining seeing how excited other people get, and seeing how much fun you can have with complete strangers. The subject of that Hooters football party was completely uninteresting to me, but there were some hilarious people (and a guy from Nintendo!) to share stories and laugh with. Plus, food. I got a hundred hot wings for free off that.

Now, back to that image of man getting pulled away from the Super Bowl in commercials. There was this one headlight commercial set outside of a house with a garage; you could see into the living room's window, and there were a lot of men in there shouting and watching the game. However, there was one man stuck outside in the dark changing headlights on a car. The commercial starts out sounding like it's going to be one of those "girlfriend made me do it" gags, but it turns out the car is his daughter's, and she's about to go to some football party of her own and can't drive in the dark. The ending line was something about headlights being replaceable, but not the girl's life. Would that fall into the sexist category with the rest of those?

[Sajainta]

I need advice on something..

In my one literature class we're reading Miller's The Crucible--set during the Salem witch-trials.  To explain what spectral evidence meant, the professor used me as an example.  "Say that Ms. Sajainta [for clarification's sake--I'm not going to share my last name] has a high school teacher that she doesn't like.  He's always going about school scowling and he gave her a B+ on an exam!"  I was laughing along, because I thought this was amusing.

"Now Ms. Sajainta is in front of the court and is trying to brand Mr. McGurdy as a witch.  "Why," she says, "He sent his familiar into my room last night.  He came in my room, flapping his wings, and then he had his way with me." "

I stopped laughing and felt really sick.  I couldn't even concentrate on what he said after that for the rest of the class period because I was so upset.  I don't mind being used as an example for class, but I can't believe he did that.

To make matters worse, he knows about certain things.  I have to tell all of my professors the first day of class the same spiel--"I have PTSD, I might need to leave class sometimes, I might not be able to discuss triggering material."  I told him this the first day of class and I also brought up the potential difficulty I might have with reading certain materials laid out in the syllabus.  He was understanding and even said I didn't need to do one of the readings, which contained a lot of elements of sexual abuse.

So the fact that he knew I had been abused in that way and then described a scene, however brief, to the entire class in which I was raped by a made-up teacher's familiar makes me all the more upset.  I don't think he did it maliciously, just without thinking, but still.  Does he not have any sense?  Or any sensitivity?  That was grossly inappropriate on all counts, and what made it all the more worse was that he knew that I had been raped in the past.  Yet he said that anyway.  To the entire class.

I feel like I should say something, but I don't know what to say.  What should I do?

Ugh... I feel sick.

[Truthordeal]

My advice would be to talk to the professor himself about it. There's no sense in letting it fester inside you, and letting him know about what he did yourself is a lot better than just confiding in some friends.

I suppose it is possible(although definitely not excusable) that he didn't even realize his behavior crossed a line, so to avoid future incidents like this, the best course of action would be to tell him, and elicit an apology, of course.

[Uboa]

I agree with ToD.  It is really unthinkable that you should have to confront your professor about such a thing, but indeed not all professors possess a reasonable amount of common sense.  Additionally, if you know anybody who has more experience in dealing with this professor, say a former student, then perhaps you could ask them if he's exhibited questionable classroom behavior in the past.  I hate to think that he just has a knack for being inappropriate and that he may be a source of future emotional turbulence for you, but if that is the case I imagine that it would be better to know...

[Lord J Esq]

Normally I would advise a person who's got a non-academic problem with a teacher to talk to the teacher first, and give them a chance to understand what offense they committed, and a chance to behave better in the future. But in your case, the magnitude of your reaction is a testament to the seriousness of the offense. Had he used someone else as his example, that person almost certainly wouldn't have had the background to produce such a feeling of sickness and astonishment (which isn't to say that hypothetical non-cautionary rape scenarios are ever appropriate). Since he chose you as the example, and since he had at least some recognition that you're very raw on this subject, I think "inappropriate" isn't sufficient enough. I think you should transfer out of the class for sure, and, optionally, press for disciplinary action to be taken against him. You probably need to talk to either the Dean or the Registrar, so that your transfer request can be put in context. If you're not sure of the procedure, maybe talk to one of the student counselors first.

I'm sorry that such a course of action would be very disruptive to your studies. If that's an overriding concern for you, then confront the instructor as if it were a lesser offense and hope for a détente until the term is over, with the understanding that future impropriety on his part would force your hand in terms of remaining in the class.

Three pieces of advice in the general: As a student and a teacher, you're there to receive instruction and you are the junior partner. But you're also an adult, and as two human beings you and the teacher are on equal terms. An offense of this nature is no less serious in the classroom than it would be elsewhere. Perhaps it is even more serious, given your reliance on the teacher for your instruction and grade. Secondly, remember that your college studies are paramount. Don't let this disrupt your degree course any more than it has to. Try to confront the issue directly rather than lingering on it, as Truthordeal suggested. Lastly, to the extent it is within your convenience and willingness, it would do this instructor a lot more good if he understood the severity of his mistake not only in the academic sense but emotionally as well. If he gets a lecture or a reprimand from a superior, maybe he'll be more considerate of his future students.