Fuck male privilege

[ZeaLitY]

Male privilege is a real problem and a common topic in discussions on combating sexism. I recently came across a great anecdote on the subject from a gamer; I'll provide the link and my own summary.

http://www.trickster.org/symposium/symp181.htm

A gamer girl is part of a social group mostly composed of men; they have frequent social get-togethers, many of which are all-male thanks to the make-up of the group. Gamer girl wants to have some more feminine activities, so she organizes "chick nights" with the few other females in the group. Uh-oh! Somebody gonna get pissy! A male takes exception, declaring that they never have "dude nights" and exclude females. Cue response:

"Look," I finally said to one of them, "when we get together Saturday night, we're going to paint our nails and put goop on our faces and play with each others' hair and watch movies with really hot guys and talk about how hot the guys are and probably talk about sex and periods and all that fun stuff. Do you really have any interest in that?"

"No," he replied, "but we could do other stuff instead."

Get it? Typically male things are taken to be the normal, and deviations are seen as a subset of activity reserved for females, just like the Lifetime Channel. Naturally, it's probably one part descended from entertainment and culture centering around those who could pay for it, be swayed by it, and produce it (males, who've held power by and large for most of human history), and one part ubiquitous, invisible tradition. This makes a good example of male privilege. Here, let her take it home:

Let's talk about Spike TV for a moment. You know, television for men? Leaving aside for the moment that their idea of what "television for men" is is kind of interesting, there was no question that the network label was in part a response to Lifetime. Again leaving aside what Lifetime thinks "television for women" is or should be (we live to rant another day), it sounds fair enough, right? One network that's "television for women" and on that's "television for men."

Except is there anyone out there who doesn't know that pretty much every other network on television is courting the male viewer? The W-fricking-B is trying to attract more male viewers. I'm not saying they're actively excluding female viewers, unless they're the sort of network that cancels their second-highest rated show because the only people watching it are women, and no, I am never letting that one go, but is it any secret that male viewers are the Holy Grail of television?

This is, in essence, the television corollary of the men who point to Women's Studies programs/classes and ask where the Men's Studies are, at which point I flail in the direction of the history, literature, art, and social studies classes. I mean, is there anyone who actually thinks men are underrepresented there? But again, something which is not predominantly about men is perceived as oppression even though it is actually an attempt to rectify the gender imbalance in the mainstream.

My personal history of coming to awareness of sexism has been marked by a few sad moments of realization, yeah. Finally learning about the concept and reality of male privilege has been eye-opening, especially since I've personally take it all for granted as a male thus far in my life. I've recently been trying to get in touch with more "feminine" culture, seeking out certain movies, books, etc. and I'll have some good reading material for my WMST class against combating sexism that begins next week. I noticed a few things while seeking out "feminine" culture:

• It's all neatly cordoned away with labels like "chick flicks"
• It contains themes and depictions that a lot of males would incorrectly find offensive
• It contains female protagonists, which conversely illuminates just how rare female protagonists are in mainstream culture
• It's stigmatized by males a number of ways ("durr, all Lifetime movies are about men beating women")

(In regards to the last point, being 6'7", I use my bully pulpit to proudly bring up and steamroll things like "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion", Disney movies, or feminist works to friends and acquaintances who'd probably call me a faggot or something if I weren't quite as imposing.)

There's also a striking imbalance of male to female topics in public culture and discourse. We're familiar with erectile dysfunction advertisements, and jokes about male performance; fellatio comes up in several works of comedy, as does premature ejaculation; humor is derived from crotch-hits and ball-bangs. But I barely ever see mention of periods or other feminine bodily functions and topics in common arenas. Unsurprisingly, these are things that a majority of men consider "gross" and lambaste in jokes, such as "I don't trust anything that bleeds a few days every month and lives." (Boobs definitely have a presence, but almost always from the point of a male's perspective of desire.) This situation only gets worse with the indignities of pregnancy; it'd be a really difficult search indeed to find a common male who wouldn't be grossed out by a picture of a placenta. On the other hand, it's a part of female biology and life. But in culture and communication, it barely registers, along with periods, lactation, or other female phenomena; when it does register, it's often so that it can get ridiculed. The mainstream is definitely a male one, with a male privilege. Female functions and activities, just like female-centric stories, are confined to their own little subsection.

Sexism truly is in every civilization, everywhere, all of the time, and a true struggle still must be fought bring about equality. Recognizing it holistically as male privilege can help identify its symptoms and wide reach.

[ZeaLitY]

http://colours.mahost.org/org/maleprivilege.html

This is also a good determinant. I can take it right now, given my probably career field.

1.  My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed. ✔
2. I can be confident that my co-workers won't think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true. ✔
3. If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex. ✔
4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won't be seen as a black mark against my entire sex's capabilities. ✔
5. The odds of my encountering sexual harassment on the job are so low as to be negligible. ✔
6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job. ✔
7. If I'm a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are so low as to be negligible. ✔
8. I am not taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces. ✔
9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question. ✔
10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question. ✔
11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I'm even marginally competent. ✔
12. If I have children and pursue a career, no one will think I'm selfish for not staying at home. ✔
13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press. ✔
14. Chances are my elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more likely this is to be true. ✔
15. I can be somewhat sure that if I ask to see "the person in charge," I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be. ✔
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. X
17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children's media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male heroes were the default. ✔
18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often.✔
19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones. ✔
20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception. ✔
21. If I'm careless with my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex. ✔
22. If I'm careless with my driving it won't be attributed to my sex. ✔
23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial. ✔
24. If I have sex with a lot of people, it won't make me an object of contempt or derision. ✔
25. There are value-neutral clothing choices available to me; it is possible for me to choose clothing that doesn't send any particular message to the world. ✔
26. My wardrobe and grooming are relatively cheap and consume little time. ✔
27. If I buy a new car, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. ✔
28. If I'm not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore. ✔
29. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch. ✔
30. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called "crime" and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called "domestic violence" or "acquaintance rape," and is seen as a special interest issue.) ✔
31. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. "All men are created equal…," mailman, chairman, freshman, he. ✔
32. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is. ✔
33. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if i don't change my name. ✔
34. The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon. ✔
35. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is usually pictured as being male. ✔ (also, fuck religion)
36. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me. ✔
37. If I have a wife or girlfriend, chances are we'll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. ✔
38. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing. ✔
39. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we'll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers. ✔
40. Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are much rarer. ✔
41. I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight. ✔
42. If I am heterosexual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. ✔ (but it would be fun in sport)
43. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege. ✔ (thankfully no longer unaware)

Whew, that's one test I didn't want to ace. Thankfully, some of the tropes are by choice (such as forcing the female in a relationship to care for the child or maintain the home), and those can be broken. Sometimes I've imagined that taking my partner's surname in marriage somehow would make for a fantastic publicity stunt. We're going to defy sexist convention, hell yeah.

[V_Translanka]

That whole gamer girl anecdote thingy sounds like the vocal equivalent of the boy who pulls a girl's hair he likes. It seems less like he cares about having a guy's version of what they're doing and more like he's just worried they'll just splinter off completely from the main group when they realize they don't need to hang out with the dorky guys to have fun gaming & such. Or maybe that's just how I would see it.

Sorry I'm not going over the rest of the thread right now, but I'm sure I agree with most of it...>_>

[Ramsus]

Few people realize how quickly these small advantages in life accumulate to make big differences. That's why so many of the world's richest individuals are men.

[Lord J Esq]

Between ZeaLitY and Ramsus, I don't need to add anything. Except possibly a reiteration: You really ought to check out those links of ZeaLitY's.

[ZaichikArky]

I find certain things about the checklist bullshit. Especially this one - 41. I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight. ✔. The rest, I don't really care about. Life is life, and being a female has its bad parts, but hey, so does being a male. As of my life right now, I am happy I was born female and society's problem with that can go shut it. Half of the list is null and void if I find a non sexist man anyway. Those kinds of guys aren't terribly hard to come by these days anyway.

[FaustWolf]

The flipside to male privelege in a patriarchal society is that we're also being robbed of certain aspects of our humanity. Men are taught to be unemotional; assholes (because nice guys finish last); selfish when it comes to sexuality; lack control over impulses; etc. What kind of life is that supposed to be?

American slaveowners from the 1700s and 1800s could have been described as "priveleged" too, but they were also amongst the most inhuman bastards who ever lived.

So, yeah, fuck male privelege. Let's usher in an era governed by humanism, baby!

[ZeaLitY]

I find certain things about the checklist bullshit. Especially this one - 41. I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight. ✔. The rest, I don't really care about. Life is life, and being a female has its bad parts, but hey, so does being a male. As of my life right now, I am happy I was born female and society's problem with that can go shut it. Half of the list is null and void if I find a non sexist man anyway. Those kinds of guys aren't terribly hard to come by these days anyway.

Yes. Every time someone talks about social change on this forum, you go to great lengths, in fact, to tell us just how much you don't care. The rest of the people who don't care simply don't post, which is a novel concept!

Saved.

[ZaichikArky]

No, it's just when you start ranting about feminism. I said I don't care about that. When the hell did I say I don't care about other social change? And why did you need to make a new thread for this anyway, why didn't you just continue the feminism thread?

[ZeaLitY]

I said I don't care about that

Then don't post. No one cares that you don't care, as much as you try to force us to. Why can't I post whatever the fuck I want? This is a new thread, about a new topic: male privilege. This is also the fucking Chrono Compendium, which I made, and which I have observed to produce topics about rationality and social change for all of its history. I'm sorry you joined at a time when that was in a lull, because that's not the real Compendium. I didn't care much about Super Smash Flash, Les Paul, or Nintendo DS Homebrew flash carts, but I didn't go in those threads and harass the threadstarters asking how in the holy fuck they could have posted such things.

[ZaichikArky]

I find it incredibly ironic that you are on my case about harassment, when you are the biggest troll here and flame people for having a different viewpoint than you pretty much on a daily basis. The reason you get away with it is obviously because you DO own this place. I also find it funny that several independant websites have flamed you for trolling and everyone thinks its hilarious because it's all true and they don't give a shit. So I'm sure the next thing you'll say is something like "If you don't like it, leave", which maybe is a good idea considering I don't do well when I have to put up with dumbass moderators who flame and troll people all the time and no one even gives a shit. Also, you don't even have to bother responding because I'm not reading this thread anymore. Yes, it is bad to troll threads if you have nothing to say. I'm not going argue about that, but it's idiotic to presume my original comment was some kind of insult towards you, it was more of a general comment about how skewed I think that list is. You can continue flaming/spamming by yourself and anyone who goes along with you against me all by yourself. Have a swell time.

[V_Translanka]

Also, you don't even have to bother responding because I'm not reading this thread anymore.

This is more of a sad troll move than anything and the one that most annoys me. If your post has any real relevance or meaning or purpose or worth, you should know that it's worth discussing or else why post it at all but to annoy others (i.e. trolling)?

[Lord J Esq]

No, it's just when you start ranting about feminism. I said I don't care about that.

You have to understand that, when it comes to politics, sociology, and economics, many people feel very strongly. And they have every right to: All of us are affected by the injustices that come with living as imperfect beings in imperfect societies.

You're a great member of the forums, like Thought or Faust, so I hate to see ZeaLitY go after you with his usual profanities. Underneath his personal style, however, he's right: You are not obliged to care about "feminism," but it is offensive for you to complain when others take an interest in it. My recommendation is that, if you're not interested in these topics, you not read them. That's how I feel about some of the threads on General, which is why you don't see me posting in them.

I wonder if you are truly as uninterested in the topic as you say, or if it's simply the style of Z and myself and others who put you off. If you truly are uninterested, then it'll be easy for you to avoid these topics from now on. But if you're actually wanting to participate in the conversation, then I'm afraid your best recourse is to try and alter the tone of it yourself, or at the very least to politely request of others that they be more gracious. A big part of life is learning how to deal with social interactions like these. That almost deserves a thread of its own.

[Shee]

quote author=ZeaLitY link=topic=7962.msg176291#msg176291 date=1251140705]

I said I don't care about that

I didn't care much about Super Smash Flash, Les Paul, or Nintendo DS Homebrew flash carts, but I didn't go in those threads and harass the threadstarters asking how in the holy fuck they could have posted such things.
[/quote]

But ya did care enough to post about Tarantino, which some people probably didn't care about, and thereore didn't post in.  Not exactly a unique thing...

[ZeaLitY]

We might as well test the hypothesis out.

I find it incredibly ironic that you are on my case about harassment, when you are the biggest troll here and flame people for having a different viewpoint than you pretty much on a daily basis.

Ha! Again, if you don't like social change threads in which medieval viewpoints are trashed, then no one's forcing you to read them. Sensible people would find things said by others to be much more offensive than anything I've done, such as Truth's statement that women aren't oppressed, or IAmSerge's abortion positions. But you never quite go after them; you only follow me around when you're looking to cry incivility.

The reason you get away with it is obviously because you DO own this place.

Lord J Esq, GrayLensman, and others were vilifying religious idiocy and other stupidity at the Compendium before I even lost my religion. I didn't make some kind of disciplinary measures on them for being irreligious, and neither have I ever taken disciplinary measures like banning against the religious. Everyone gets away with discussion here, yes. That's called an open forum. You've blown the lid off free discourse!

I also find it funny that several independant websites have flamed you for trolling and everyone thinks its hilarious because it's all true and they don't give a shit.

Yeah, I've been banned for other sites, because I call out administrative double standards, unfair bannings, etc. and that's usually a sure way to get canned. What are you trying now; a basic character attack?

So I'm sure the next thing you'll say is something like "If you don't like it, leave", which maybe is a good idea considering I don't do well when I have to put up with dumbass moderators who flame and troll people all the time and no one even gives a shit.

You put yourself in these threads. Did you expect your posts not to be answered? Did you expect uninformed viewpoints not to be crushed? Did you expect hostility and insensitivity to be met with reward?

but it's idiotic to presume my original comment was some kind of insult towards you, it was more of a general comment about how skewed I think that list is. You can continue flaming/spamming by yourself and anyone who goes along with you against me all by yourself. Have a swell time.

This is like the third or fourth time you've followed me around. You've even replied to two posts on my LJ trying to rain on my parade with cautionary warnings. But thanks; I'm glad you'll stop being the Z-Police and protector of the stupid, now.