On the whole that was gracious of you, I think.
It would be horribly disingenuous of me to say "oh you are right and I'll change" if I then did not change. As neither of us are leaving the forum, there is a high probability that you'll continue to see my posts. If I said I would change and then did not, my every use of the word "aught" would be an offense.
A high probability indeed. But Thought! It isn't your use of the wrong spelling of a word that matters. It is the persistence thereof while in the knowledge of being wrong. I will return to this shortly.
Rather than such insincerities, knowing myself, I admitted that though you are right, there is a small chance that such would result in a change in my behavior.
While I personally favor defiance over dishonesty (and thus prefer your reasoning here), you did not admit that I was right. You admitted that I was
technically right, and we both know the difference. To make it unambiguous, though, you then came right out and said that if you were to heed my advice it would only be for the sake of "technical correctness" and not because of the actual, relevant dangers to English functionality. If it's really a case of you not buying what I'm selling, you can
check the claim that ambiguous denotations sharing the same word will tend to result in at least one of them being pushed out of popular use. This is highly evident in its purest form, the contranym, but can be observed all over the place with a good read-through of the dictionary. There are probably even books that focus on this, which would spare you the time and trouble. Someone as well-read as yourself might also benefit from looking at the changes in word meaning between books written in decades past and recent centuries, and those written very recently.
If it might serve to help underline this point (that is, the unlikelihood of my changing), it might amuse you to know that I pronounce "disciples" as "discycles." Though I know that I pronounce it incorrectly, I find it incredibly difficult to enforce a correction; the mispronunciation slips out far too often (probably still 80%+ of the time). It "ought to be" easier for me to enforce this change, as I have the motivation of very real and very direct embarrassment, than it would be for me to enforce yours. But as I fail there where I feel motivated each time I blush for its use, I suspect with a high degree of certainty that I will fail here as well.
It's hard to find sympathy for this. For my entire childhood I miswrote "forest" as "forrest" and "February" as "Febuary," among other things. And I have mispronounced all kinds of words in my day, simply because I encountered most of them in written rather than spoken form. Because of my desire to master the language and to communicate clearly, I reform my errors wherever I encounter them--unless I have a good reason not to. (I recently made a justification to a friend for capitalizing the word
Earth when it is used with an article, which is in violation of standard usage.) It's not easy to change something ingrained, but, when the thing ingrained is indefensibly wrong, to change is worthwhile. Essentially here you are saying that some mixture of stubbornness or laziness is what's keeping you from changing, and although I respect the honesty I think we both know that you can do better.
As for concessions, perhaps it is partially because I am quiet in defeat that you haven't noticed.
So noted. I think you've even said this before.
If you would like, I could probably produce a fairly substantial list of such.
For no reason relating to this line of discussion, I'd like to see that out of simple curiosity. Supposing your time and energy permit, by all means please do produce such a list.
However, it is true that I do not generally post a response saying "you are right;" perhaps this is something I "ought to" try to do more often.
That would be helpful to your debate partners, but do not mistake me here: I'm not looking for any tribalistic display of obeisance. I don't need that; I don't even like it. It is a greater awareness and softening of your contrarian style that I seek. In the case of "aught," I was never looking for a "You're right, Josh," because I knew I was right and didn't need to be told it by you. I was looking for you to relent in being wrong on a point in which I knew beyond all reasonable doubt you were wrong, and therein demonstrate your ability to acknowledge defeat from without. To put it another way, even if you do proffer a "You're right" more often, that alone won't placate whatever discomfort it is that led me to this outburst in the first place, because it won't change your tendency of sometimes failing to consider (i.e., be open-minded about, and critical of) your opponents' arguments. We all want to be taken credibly in our assertions, if those assertions have merit, and so I would like to get a fairer shake from you more than I would like to be paid homage when I score a point. I know that I could have been more exhaustive (and clearer, and more empirical) in explaining this "aught" business, but like I said you're a very smart fellow and for my thrust to have gone over your head entirely is just not credible. Thus, it is obstinacy. What does it serve? Well, if you had been holding very specific ideas that were at risk of being lost in the act of accepting my language or premises, your obstinacy would have served that. But you weren't. Rather, you didn't buy what I was selling--like that proverbial negotiator who comes to the bargaining table determined not to strike a deal. Returning to my point at the top of this post, and bringing together my sentiments thus far, you should conclude from all this that what I desire from offering this criticism is for you to enter into debate with a concerted effort to be less quick to contradict and more quick to consider. Have you ever been in a conversation with a person where you are trying to make a point and, once you have said something that stirs a response in them, you can see it on their face that they are barely listening to anything more that you're saying and instead are just waiting to make their objection? How unfortunate!
EDIT: Oh, and yes, you are correct in that my own pride and ego do often get in the way of making effective arguments. I am quite prideful, but I do try to work against that. But again, change is quite difficult to enact.
Yes indeed. Let me tell you a story. I have a very egocentric style of thinking, myself. You can contrast my posts with those of the selfless FaustWolf, who is the ultimate humble peacemaker and would make a very good diplomat or councilor if this is his real style and not an affectation. But, getting back to me (heh): All of my adult life I've had something which sets me apart from most arrogant people. It's not strictly that my philosophy has a lot of integrity. It that I possess my own special form of humbleness, difficult to see as such, but recognizable in my respect for awareness. I am very keen not to commit the mistakes of conceit, not to close my mind to the possibilities, not to get caught up in myself...keen because I witness these flaws all around me all the time in all walks of life. They are case studies of failure in my exploration of power. I can see how egotism invites loss. In you I perceive a desire to maintain your position--in the sense of both argument and social status--which can be greater than your desire for self-enrichment. I expect that, if not for this sentence, you might offer a sentiment along the lines of "I learn by argument." That's fair; I'm sympathetic to people who are cursed to learn through argument, and I try to be accommodating. But here it would be an excuse, not a defense, because it conflates the desire to be honored with the desire to explore an idea in the fracas of contention. Those sound like two very different things, but I suspect they are hard to distinguish. That is the curse: People who learn through argument tend to suffer, not coincidentally, from the very misplaced pride to which you just confessed.
Our respective styles of egocentrism are different, but what is even more different is how we temper our egos. You seem to spend a lot of energy affecting an air of humility which I always suspected was a pure motive wrapped in an insincere attitude, and your Live Journal ultimately confirmed this. I have generally avoided trying to seem docile, feeble, or any of those things, because the very notion is so utterly fake that I worry the heavens would quake with laughter and kill us all with falling stars dislodged from the empyrean. This doesn't mean I don't try to be respectful or open-minded; indeed I try very hard to respect good thinking, new ideas, different perspectives, and emotional need. Instead I temper my ego internally, by focusing on being more aware, on the premise that increasing awareness will increasingly deliver me from illogical behavior. You on the outside won't readily see it; in fact I am well aware that I can appear much less kind and humane than I actually am. This is in contrast to your outwardly uncontroversial, benign posture, Thought. (Do please understand that I am not impugning the sincerity of your friendliness. I have no conclusive evidence either way, but I am very much willing to give you the benefit of the doubt in accepting you as a friendly person. I am referring only to the method by which you temper your ego.)
I temper my ego, then, by trying to be aware of what its nature is and how it would shape me if I were not to flee from my ignorance. I couldn't say what motivates you in your efforts to temper your ego, but I myself am driven in mine by a concern which is nigh inextinguishable, and that concern is to never have to be someone who must be humored. Perhaps it comes from the fact that I was socially awkward as a kid. I wasn't respected then, and I don't want to be fake-respected now. I do want respect, but I want to earn the real thing. I have made this elaborate outburst to you because I noticed, after you refused the other night to say which university you will be attending (which is characteristic of you), that I was on the verge of committing to a decision to humor you in our interactions. I don't want to do that, any more than I want it done to me. I hope you appreciate what I mean here. To me the most crucial supporting pillar of friendship is honesty, and it pains me ever to choose not to be unfetteredly honest with someone due to their personality flaws. Be certain that I would continue to enjoy your presence and conversation even if you do not change, but there is a much better relationship waiting to be developed between us if, in all bluntness, you can get over yourself. Does that seem too provocative? I hope not. You wrote "I am quite prideful, but I do try to work against that." Indeed you are, and indeed you should. I respect that, and I appreciate it. And I understand that it is hard to do. But here, in my sharing all of this with you, you have an opportunity to avoid one of the specific consequences of being egotistical--and I would not be surprised at all if better engagement with me would benefit your rapport with others, too. I hope that my criticism is on the mark, and that my sincerity motivates you toward greater success.