Author Topic: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody  (Read 8687 times)

Katie Skyye

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #15 on: March 27, 2010, 12:56:34 pm »
NOOOO, it's awesome! XD I didn't mean to make you think that!

skylark

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #16 on: March 27, 2010, 03:06:42 pm »
NOOOO, it's awesome! XD I didn't mean to make you think that!

*phew!*

Scared me.

I have a really bad problem with assuming. I see the words 'bad' and 'fanfic'...

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. Can you tell? :P

skylark

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #17 on: May 05, 2010, 01:10:35 am »
Before we head any further, this author would like to apologize for the delay in the start of Act 2 of the Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams parody. Apparently, one of our castmembers had a few personal troubles.

*The theme to The People's Court can be heard playing. We cut to a courtroom. Schala enters in a sharp and alluring business suit, holding a stack of papers. With her is Yasunori Mitsuda.*

Caption: Sueing Wiz Kalipha for blatant piracy of 'Schala's Theme'.

*We cut back to the author.*

It is currently unknown how the issue was resolved, but please enjoy this new chapter. Thank you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

A flash of light can be seen in Glenn's field of vision.

Glenn: A beach...? Wait, aren't we missing a story sequence or something? The hell happened?

*FLASHBACK*

An alarm sounds throughout the complex.

G: Damn! They're on to us!

Lillith: Yes, I think Dalton himself getting in our way would be a good indication of that... >_>

Reika: What about Lark and Schala?!

Glenn: No time! Cheese it!

*PRESENT*

Glenn: That's right. We got split up at that intersection...

Glenn sees an enormous carcass on the beach.

Glenn: Holy mother of good-smelling crap!! The hell is that thing?!! :shock:

*THWACK*

Reika: Prick! He's my friend!

The whale lets out a weak cry.

Reika: It's okay, it's just a scratch... ;_;

Glenn: Uh, I think we're still being followed. We better get out of here.

Reika: *hugs the whale* No!! I'm not leaving him!!! ;_;

Glenn: *groans* Great, so I'm the designated asshole, huh? Hate to do this, but...

Glenn... eventually pries the crying mermaid from her companion and retreats with her into the nearby woods. Soon a small squad of pursuit troops land. Leading them...

Hans: *to the whale* That thing! You!! You with the jumping and the crushing and the PAIN!!! Kill it!!

Torch Soldier: But lieutenant...

Hans: Are you questioning my orders...?

Soldier: You've been demoted twice. I think we do have that right.

Hans: Fine. I'll do it myself! *takes a flamethrower*

Soldier: Man, PETA's going to kick his ass for this...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, on another beach...

G: God, that sucked.

Schwann: Not as bad as our passenger. You do realize she tried to kill us just now, right?

The two Dragoons look at said passenger. Wrapped in G's coat and unconcious is Schala.

G: Doesn't matter. She wasn't herself.

Schwann: You're not telling me that this is the same girl from those stories you told me about, are you?

G: .....We've failed our mission. You'd better head back to El Nido. I can get away with possibly 'defecting' from the Dragoons, but you can't.

Schwann: You gonna watch her?

G: Kinda have to at this point. There's no telling what she's capable of now.

Schwann: ........You take care of yourself, Grobyc.

Grobyc: I've lasted this long, haven't I? :cool:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile still...

Lark: And that's another pint of blood. Yeah. I think I'm gonna die.

????: Nah. You aren't that lucky.

Lark: Holy crap.... Is this what they call a 'Deus ex Machina'? Hey, what's with the fruity gold mask there, buddy?

????: None of your damn business. Say, before I help you out, I got a question. You wouldn't happen to know a woman named Schala, would you?

Lark: .....That depends. Are you talking about the girl I've been traveling with the whole story, or the monster that just attacked me a short while ago?

????: Damn. I was too late. Oh well, the old man wants you alive too, so I guess I have to move the plot along. *gives Lark a Nostrum*

Lark: A plot? There's a plot to this piece of shit?

????: Yeah, it just flew off in the direction of Guardia. Long white hair, sort of a mix between a human and a reptite.

Lark: A what?

????: Nothing. Name's Guile. Seeker of mysteries and plot device extraordinaire.

Lark: Great. So how do we get out of here?

Guile: What did I just say? Plot device.

And with that, our second Chrono Cross cameo teleports himself and Lark out of the chamber, which I'm sure will hold no past or future significance whatsoever.

........

...........

..............

..................

*cough*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually all three of the above scenarios end up back at the Radical Dreamer HQ. Although Lark's is a bit late.

Glenn: Schala?! The hell happened?

Grobyc: She was thrashing around destroying everything in a fit of mad rage. I had to put her down.

Reika: Was this before or after you wrapped her in your coat?

Grobyc: Get your minds out of the gutter... >_<

Schala: *sudden* No! I don't want to watch Lake House, mother!! :shock:

Reika: *falls over* O_O

Grobyc: Well, sounds like you're alright now. What's the last thing you remember?

Schala: Wait... you're-!

Grobyc: You recognize me?

Schala: Aside from the cosmetic surgery, yeah.

Grobyc: Good news everybody. I think Schala has her memory back.

Schala: Oh god! Lark...! I... *urp*

Reika: Uh oh. I think she's gonna pop... >_>

Suddenly....

Lark: Holy crap. I thought teleporting was supposed to be instant.

Guile: It is, but I wanted some Burger King. *holds up packages*

Schala: :shock:

Grobyc: Oh son of a bitch. Not you.

Guile: Yes me.

Lark and Schala meet eyes.

Schala: You're alive... I...

Lark... out of instinct or leftover fear, falls on his rear and begins to consistantly scream like Homer Simpson in that one episode of the Simpsons.

Lark: *pointing at Schala, crawling backwards* Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh! AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHHH!

Glenn: Wow. G told us the whole story. You must have really emasculated him.

Schala: :cry:

Guile: ............

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually, Lark is talked too, and loaded with lots of sedatives *cough*, but he is eventually made aware that Schala wasn't quite herself.

Guile: So what's your story?

Grobyc: Well, I couldn't return to Porre after my betrayal. The Dragoons took me in. You know, the whole machine learns to be human cliche. Had to get the surgery so Porre's scientists couldn't recognize me. But what the hell are you doing here? *looks at Schala* Besides the obvious, of course.

Guile: I'm here as a favor for the old man. I'm sure you still remember him.

Grobyc: Should we just say that it's Belthesar and get it over with?

Guile: Why? I think when one says 'old man' in the Chrono series, I think it's already generally assumed that it's Belthesar. Why need to repeat it?

Meanwhile, with the others... outside a dressing room.

Reika: So you can't just be wearing G's coat the whole time. You find something yet?

Schala: I think so.

Reika: Well, if what you had on since we met is any indication, anything with black leather and a corset would look good on you. It would definitely be perfect, considering you'll still be fighting in the party.

Schala has since left the dressing room.

Lark: :shock:

Glenn: :shock:

Grobyc: *leans out, raises eyebrow*

Reika: What's up? *turns around* What the hell?!! :shock:

Schala is wearing a variation of her old Zealian gown.

Schala: I couldn't find one with bell sleeves, or any sleeves for that matter, so I had to go with the gloves. ^_^

Reika: Ummm, that...

Glenn: Somebody tell me that dress is suited for battle...

Schala: *bows* I'm sorry... :(

Grobyc: Oh boy...

Reika: Schala! What the hell are you doing? You're acting all... *disgusted* demure...

Schala: I'm sorry...

Grobyc suddenly tosses one of Schala's swords to her. She jumps back in shock. The sword clatters to the ground.

Masa: Owowowowowowowow!!

Mune: Son of a bitch...

Grobyc tosses her the other one. Schala attempts - rather weakly - to catch it. Which she fails.

Doreen: Fail.

Grobyc does one last test. He quickly lunges his fist at her, but stops just short of her nose.

Schala: :shock:

Glenn: Okay something's wrong here. The Schala we know would have blocked that!

Grobyc: It's as I thought. She's a completely different person now that her memories have returned.

Guile: What we see right now is her true self.

Lark: So you're telling us, more or less, that the Schala we interacted with until now didn't really exist.

Guile: I wouldn't say 'didn't exist', but...

Lark: *disgusted* Typical. Fucking typical.

Lark begins to storm off.

Schala: Wait, I-

Lark: *screams* Don't touch me!!!

Party: :shock:

And Lark storms deeper into the base...

Schala: :cry:

Guile: ..............

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rupert: Hey, do you know if Ms. Lillith is back yet?

Lark: Do I look like I give a shit right now? >_> Tch... Told me I could count on her... Guess I have to rely on only myself after all... dammit... *punches the wall*

Rupert: I'll ask somebody else. :shock:

Lark heads into the next chamber.

Rupert: Hey, don't go in there! That's where we're keeping the plot device we took from Porre!

Lark opens the doors.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reika: I'm sure he didn't mean it...

Schala: I'm sorry... :(

Reika: Stop apologizing! You didn't do anything wrong!

Schala: .........

Reika: .........

Schala: I'm sorry...

Reika: :picardno

Glenn: Well, most of the other RD's are headed to the ruins of Guardia Castle to wait for Cecillia and Lillith. I hope she had better luck on the mission than we did.

Guile: Holy crap! :shock:

Grobyc: What is it?

Guile: Did you feel that pressure?!

Guile looks on. Schala suddenly has a horrified expression on her face.

Glenn: Is it Porre?!

Schala: No...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

????: Power... I need power...

We flashback to the ruins of a battlefield. A young teenage fiend stands, covered in blood, shaken. Blood still drips down the cut over his left eye. If one could imagine a guess, this could very well be the aftermath of Porre's seige of Medina.

Mystic 1: You! You brought those animals here!

Mystic 2: It was that witch he brought! And she opened the door!

Mystic 3: Those damned humans!!

Mystic 4: Isn't he one of them too?! He's not like one of us...

Mystic 5: Damn half-breed!!

Mystic 6: Get out of here!!!

Mystic 7: It's your fault!! It's all your fault!!!

????: Power...

The battlefield disappears. Only the young man is left.

Lark: I need... power...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*The song Girei (from one of the Naruto Shippuuden OST's) begins playing in the background.*

As the light subsides, Lark stares intently at the object in question. A large red stone. It suddenly begins to pulse with a strange light.

RD 1: Hey, you can't be in here!

Lark ignores him.

The other Radical Dreamers try to hold him down, but the stone emits a pulse of lightning that throws Rupert and the other soldiers off. The stone begins to transform the closer Lark gets to it. Five flared spikes emerge from the top of it while the center opens and three eye-looking stones socket themselves.

Lark's eyes begin to gloss over and glow an eerie red.

Reika: Lark!!

Grobyc: The hell?! I thought that thing disappeared in the Terra Tower!!

Guile: 'Lavos was supposed to have disappeared as well, but if what Schala said is true...'

Rupert: Ugh...

Glenn: Hey! Hang on!

Rupert: *scarred and burned* Gotta... stop him... That thing's..... evil... *dies*

Without warning, Glenn takes a shot at Lark. The bullet bounces of some sort of barrier.

Reika: That better have been a warning shot, Glenn!  :x

Schala: Lark!! Get away from it!!!!

Her words fall on deaf ears. He reaches out and touches the stone. For a moment, nothing seems to happen.

Guile: Oh hell... *puts up a barrier around the party*

An image of Dalton disintigrating enters Lark's mind.

Lark: :twisted:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From far off, one could see a large pillar of flame emerge from the abandoned cathedral. Standing atop the ruins of Guardia Castle is the man from the end of the last chapter.

Kale: ...You have already chosen, then? So be it.

He turns his gaze to Cecille's mansion in Truce. The sound of a certain alien parasite's cry rings through his ears.

Kale: Ahhh, there you are... :twisted:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm back. If only for a little while. Everybody, let's give a round of applause for the new Arbiter!

Lark: *sneezes*

Uhhhh, anyway. Chances are, you're not gonna like this guy for the next few chapters. You could say it's the Frozen Flame's fault, but...

Was the Frozen Flame destroyed at the end of Cross? I can't seem to recall. Anyway, I hope this means I'll be back on another writing streak. Until next chapter.

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2010, 08:28:41 pm »
Are we to assume that Guile = Magus in this universe?

skylark

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2010, 09:41:53 pm »
Are we to assume that Guile = Magus in this universe?

I know it's not official until Kato says so, but I'm thinking that that's the general consensus. :P

alfadorredux

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #20 on: May 06, 2010, 08:46:54 pm »
Well, it's generally agreed that he was supposed to be Magus during one phase of the game's development, but it's more questionable that that still held true for the game as published. Not worth arguing about, anyway.

skylark

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #21 on: December 14, 2010, 10:42:23 pm »
May? MAY?!

Good god, how could I let this happen?!
:shock:

*Opens the Closet for Characters.*

The hell?

There is strange smoke in the chamber. All characters involved are... to put it frankly, quite stoned.

Glenn: Told ya it was worth the wait... :lol:

Reika: We waited until the mold started growing, then-

Stop! I get it.

Schala can be seen running around in the background. Streaking. Guile is in the fetal position, rocking back and forth.

Guile: Things seen cannot be unseen. Things seen cannot be unseen. Things seen cannot be unseen.

:shock:

Sorry for the delay, folks. So sorry... :(

skylark

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2011, 10:46:40 pm »
Once again, I indulge in thread necromancy. :picardno

However!

I've finally gotten off my ass and worked back on this thing.

Hell yeah, motherfucker!

--------------------------------------------------

-Chapter 11-

That night, our heroes were forced to end up sleeping outside due to the fact that Lark inadvertantly torched their new base.

Glenn: That Frozen Flame's a hell of a drug.

Grobyc: Could we not due Dave Chapelle skits, please?

Lark: *sleeping* *Imitates Little John* WHAT?! WHAT?! YEAH!!

Grobyc: This chapter's starting out splendidly... It looks like the Frozen Flame's doing more psychological damage than we thought.

Glenn: And the psychotic laughter from earlier didn't tip you off because...?

Reika: At least everyone made it out okay.

What she meant by everyone, she meant only our heroes, as the Radical Dreamers were more or less incinerated. Should we count genocide on Lark's 'Slap on the Wrist' list?

Glenn: Wouldn't be the first time...

Grobyc/Reika: What?

Glenn: *quickly* What?

Lark: *sleeping* OKAY!!

Grobyc: *facepalms*

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, our... 'heroine'... sits by a tree acting moe.

Schala: :cry:

Guile: Hey Woobie.

Schala gives the traveler a good long stare.

Schala: Not funny...

Guile: It's the wine. My bad. Could be worse. You could be Woobie: Destroyer of Worlds... again.

Schala gives the man another stare.

Schala: You suck at this. :(

Guile: Always did... >_<

Schala: Hey, has anyone seen Lillith?

----------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in the bowels of Guardia, Lillith hangs from the ceiling in chains.

Cecille: Worthless trash. If it wasn't for my personal manservant, the mission would've been a complete bust!

Said physically imposing manservant, Sten, has the weakened Lavos... thing... in a cylinder under his arm.

Sten: What to do with her?

Cecille: She's outlived her usefulness. Kill her.

Lillith: So this is it? So Schala was right... You're a completely selfish bitch.

Cecille: *growling* And since when did you start growing a spine?

Lillith: During the year it took the author to actually start working on this.

................

................

................

Yeah. Can't really argue with that.

Cecille: So you're the reason for that? I changed my mind. Make her suffer first. Boys!

Male Soldier: Heh heh. Score. :twisted:

???: Now wait, just a minute. You can't do something so vulger. It's bad taste.

A cloaked woman enters the chamber.

Cecille: Oh, it's you... You can tell our mutual benefactor he has his creature. Now what's this about?

Mysterious Woman: You still have those 'dreamer' things out there, right? Can't be having any loose ends. Why not have this one take them out?

Lillith: I'll never do such a thing.  :x

MW: Really? *snap*

A soldier comes in carrying a boombox. He presses play.

It is... the Caramelldansen.

Lillith: Oh god! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :shock:

Cecille: :shock:

After two minutes of this...

Lillith: *monotone* Everyone... loves... the... Caramelldansen...

MW: *noblewoman's laugh* There we go. Now you have a nice little mind-controlled minion that you can throw away when she's outlived her usefulness.

Cecille: Wow. Who are you anyway?

MW: If I told you, it'd be a spoiler. BTW..... Were you really about to have those men...?

Cecille: Yes.

MW: And what were you...?

Cecille: *innocently* I was going to watch.

MW: ...............You... really are a twisted bitch.

--------------------------------------------------------

Glenn: Hey, anybody get the feeling we're missing somebody?

Grobyc: Does it matter?

Lark: Owww... what the hell...?

Guile: Oh look, laughing boy's awake.

Reika: How do you feel?

Lark: I feel...

*The Frozen Flame flashes.*

Lark: *slasher smile* Great! :twisted:

Everyone Else: *recoiling* Ngyaa-aaaaa-aaaaa! *loosening collars*

Lark: I've never felt such a rush before! It feels like a sugar rush combined with Nyquil and Red Bull!

Guile: Alright look, if you'll just calm down-

Lark: *demonic voice* THE PRECIOUS IS MINE!! YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!!!

Everyone: O_O

Lark: ^_^... *eye twitch*

Glenn: Hey Schala. Remember in chapter 4 or 5 when I said I might have to take Lark down?

Schala: >_>...

Glenn: Yeah... Something tells me I might have to make good on that vow veeeeery soon.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later, our heroes get ready to head out to the Radical Dreamer's main base of operations in order to report the events that have transpired.

Grobyc: Okay, we ready? ....Lark?

Lark: ^_^

Lark is tied up in a straitjacket... and placed in a little red wagon... with a cage around it.

Reika: Remember, we'll let you out if you be good.

Schala leans forward, peering into the cage. Lark gives a roaring snap.

Schala: *recoiling* Eeep!

Lark: Hee-hee! ^_^

Reika: Can we get the old Schala back?

Guile: This is the old Schala, so no.

Glenn: You seem to know more about this Frozen Flame than we do. Care to enlighten us?

Reika: Is there any way we can help him?

Guile: Unfortunately, he can only help himself. Unless, one is capable of suppressing it, the Flame will bring to the surface a person's inner character and base desires.

Grobyc: "Gaze into the Flame, and the Flame gazes back into you."

Glenn: Damn...

Guile: The legends say that the Flame had held a hand in the world's history since the prehistoric ages. The first suspected Avatar of the Flame was said to be Cedric I, founder of the Kingdom of Guardia. Who knows how many times it had changed hands since then. It was also said that once it did, tragedy would befall it's previous holder. I personally know of one... no. Two. Two previous Avatars. One was a fisherman in Arni, and the other...

Schala: :(

Guile: Unless that boy can get a grip on his emotions, things don't look good for him.

Reika: Stop talking like it's hopeless. Lark's stronger than that!

Grobyc: Well this is all new to me. What do we need to watch out for?

Guile: First symptom is dimentia. Luckily, the boy was unconcious for most of it. Next is a feeling of extreme euphoria...

Lark: Wow, the sky is so... so... blue! ^_^

Guile: The next part is the trick. The Flame will attempt to complete its assimilation. Any sort of shock or sight that will bring about stong emotions, such as a memory, and the Flame will take over completely. If he can keep his cool by the time the assimilation is complete however, he should be alright.

Grobyc: Which in layman's terms, means he's screwed.

Guile: Also, the Flame can influence those with weaker minds around the Avatar. If anybody here holds any possible murderous grudges against that young man, you'd better keep your distance.

Schala casts a glance at Glenn... and notices Reika is doing the same, worriedly.

Schala: *facepalms* 'This can't end well...'

---------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, in Porre...

Dalton: Liutenant Hans... what is it?

Hans: We've found the Radical Dreamer's main base of operations, sir. Spies have also informed us that the group who infiltrated our ocean labs has been spotted heading in that direction.

Dalton: Ugh...

Hans: All reports indicate that... they also have possession of the Frozen Flame.

Dalton: Of all the things that could get worse and- *the realization hits him* WAIT, WHAAAAAT?!!!!!

Hans: *cringes*

Shald: Huh. So that's where it went. I thought those UPS guys looked a little funny...

Dalton: >_>...

Shald: *coughs*

Dalton: Your unit will head over and crush these flimsy rebels once and for all. And once we find out who funded them... not that it takes a genius...

Shald: About that. Lady Cecille has launched her own troops in hopes of a joint attack. She admits to sending in a mole, yet the situation has grown out of her control.

Dalton: *beat* Who's she trying to kid? Is this her way of saving face?

Shald: Well, she claims she doesn't expect the unit to return. Alive.

Dalton: ...Hee-hee. Devious little minx, isn't she? Just like mama. Ha!

Hans: *clears throat*

Dalton: What? You're still here? *groan* Fine. Take Diana with you.

Hans: *taken aback* With all due respct, My Lord, my sister is better off spreading her legs for politicians than-

Dalton: Your sister happens to be ten times the soldier you ever were, and if you ever fail me or try to second-guess me again, I will send you on lookout duty in the Medinan Wastes! Do I make myself clear, 'Private' Hans?

Hans: *stuttering* P-P-P-P-P-P-Private?!!! O_O

Dalton: Somebody get this tool out of my sight!

Two Black Wind troops salut and drag the crying Hans away.

Hans: My career... it's ruined... :cry:

Shald: Well, good riddance.

Dalton: Don't you start too. >_>

Shald: *coughs* Sorry.

-------------------------------------------

*I am BACK, baby! :P*

skylark

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Re: Chrono: To the Sea of Dreams - The Parody
« Reply #23 on: August 11, 2012, 02:34:01 am »
Or not...

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement.

As of today, this parody story shall be postponed indefinitely.

My reasons are twofold.

1. My condition, due to such a long time and poor maintanence on this topic, prevents me from doing anything substantial on it.

2. I have made far, far, FAR too many internal retcons since I last posted a chapter to be able to finish this as-is.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I say that in about a week or so, I will ask FaustWolf or any other moderator to delete this topic.

However, also due to my condition, I am not content to let things end here. To the Sea of Dreams will be born anew someday, this I guarantee!!

In fact, I might tell these ideas tomorrow... Or when...ever I get around to it. *coughs*

So until then, stay safe and thank you all.