At this point, I'm almost willing to accept any decent jrpg that involves time travel...>_>
Oh? A
JRPG, you say?
~~~~~~~~~~
Lord J: Great Scot! We have to go back!
Marty McThought: Back? What do you mean, "back"?
Lord J: It's your church, Marty! Something's got to be done about your
church!
Marty McThought: What, did it get voted off the island in this week's American Sacrament?
Lord J: My calculations show that, after a late-night tavern fight with with a Carthaginian vintner, your central religious figure ceased to exist in the year 17 AD! If I don't go back in time, your religion won't exist, your parents would never have met at church,
and you wouldn't be born!!
Marty McThought: Oh, frak, Josh, this is heavy!
Lord J: Heavy! There you go again with the "heavy." I continually fail to see the relevance.
Marty McThought: What? Never mind. What are you going to do?!
Lord J: I am firmly of the opinion that if I want something done, I've got to do it myself! I'll warp in there, spend a couple of months talking about fish and leprosy with poor people, and warp back to Hill Valley in time for supper! Where's my suntan lotion?
Marty McThought: But what about the Crucifixion? And the resurrection! You've got to be there or it won't take!
Lord J: Luckily I still happen to own a rapid-biodegradable stunt double mannequin from the year 2037! I'll bribe the Romans with candy and have them crucify the mannequin instead of me.
Marty McThought: Candy?
Lord J: Can you imagine a world with no candy, Marty? It's like something out of Kafka, or Tolstoy, or my dentist. That's why I've never had to carry authentic currency! People in the past will do
anything to get candy! Where's my toga?
Marty McThought: Jesus, Josh, my arm is turning transparent!
Lord J: Great Scott! Never mind the toga. Fear not, Marty! I'm on my way!
Marty McThought: But what are you going to do about the culture? You don't know the particulars! They'll never accept you!
Lord J: I don't need to be "one of the gang" to them, Marty. They only need to praise me as the Almighty Lord of Heaven. A pair of sunglasses, an iPod, some candy...they'll be bowing down faster than our beloved president in the company of our merciful and benevolent overseas creditors. And now, my semi-transparent friend, I must be off!
Marty McThought: Truly this was the son of God!
*press START to continue*