Welcome to the biggest surprise of the year! This is none other than the GOD PROJECT, the one to end all others! It's...
Planned in secret by a cadre of the best and most trusted fans, Chrono Trigger X is a scream from the underground that will catapult Square Enix face-first into Mars. We're taking the fallen legacy of the series and punching back to life with extreme vigor and zeal. This is nothing like you've seen before; it's a project of such incredible scope and size that Chrono Trigger will dominate even television news by the time we're finished. We all know Square Enix has dropped the ball so hard it's created an EXTINCTION-EVENT size crater. Horrible games like Final Fantasy XIV; horrible franchise reboots; horrible cash-ins, and horrible characters like fucking asshole Tidus or Oerba dia Vanille. Whatever Chrono Break was planned to be will have NOTHING on this.
We're going to fucking start it with:
We're going to produce a 266 episode anime retelling of Chrono Trigger, complete with celebrity voice cameos, hour-long specials, computer-generated sequences with a 5 million polycount Lavos (thanks to Straafe), and a line of fan merchandise produced by Chrono Trigger Zeal Archive. The Compendium will be partnering with Magus's Chrono Shrine to also put together three prequel OVAs documenting the life of Crono and his mysterious father, Ragnurd, the Lost Prince of Guardia. Altogether the series will cover about 1,000 manga chapters equivalent with NO filler except for an obligatory beach party episode. This will be dubbed in English so if anyone knows someone who speaks Japanese and can redub it, post here.
But don't think that's all...
That's right! Drawing on our best fan artists here, we're going to do a manga adaptation of the anime. We're currently in talks to have tankobon sold in specialty comic shops in the USA. The art style's going to be superflat (what else) so you'll get that sweet TTGL effect popping off every page with the springtime of youth. Not to mentioned a planned children's pop-up book adapted chapter! We'll create the next generation of Chrono fans!
Comics and manga not your style? Then check out the...
We're only printing ten of these! Ficcer Darth Pika has been working on Chrono novelizations for the last 3 years and they should be done in a few months, including a restored novelization of Radical Dreamers! Breathe the air of verdant Zenan as our favorite characters and settings come to life in beautiful prose! Paperback will be sold everywhere but the hardbound editions will run $500 each. If we sell them all, Darth Pika's promised to write a CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE book starring Turnip and Neo-Fio as they join with Mojo to become the Neo-Chibi Radical Dreamers!
Enough with the literature! Let's get into some GAMES!
I was talking to famed Compendiumite Symmetry one day a few years ago and we realized, what's with all these separate RPGMaker projects? Shouldn't there be a super mega project that unites them all into one storyline and one game, requiring only one install? We've worked to make that a reality! We've got EVERYTHING in here, from Joao's Chrono Trigger 3 to the latest and greatest from RPGShrine! WAIT, DON'T LIKE RPGMAKER GAMES?!
Then...
We're going to be rewriting Chrono Trigger from the ground up in Flash with a portable coding language that can be used for tons of other projects and ideas! We'll be completely rewriting the code and adapting the SNES architecture so that the final product will be as big as the ROM, if not a little bigger. We'll also be including a CREATE YOUR OWN CHARACTER edition! Tired of Crono's dumb clothes? Make it shine with a variety of fashion from the Chronoverse, from Ayla's crotchless tribal shorts to Johnny's exhaust pipe decorations! EVERYTHING's included!
NOw, we can't do ROM hacks, so we've got something better...
We're commissioning Claado_Shou to write a brand new stage script for a play encompassing ALL of Masato Kato's works, even if some will just be cameos (like Ninja Gaiden). We're not sure who we'll cast yet for the characters but auditions are DEFINITELY open, and if you bring your own cosplay it will totally help your chances. The play's going to run in Oberlin, Ohio for summer 2012, and if we can get some committed support we'll try and do a CHRONO FESTIVAL and take over the entire town! Don't bring your kids, though, as there may be some adult sequences and we don't want more legal trouble.
Need something to kill the time, though? Try out...
And you know it's gonna be good! We're going to make a true dating sim where you can play as a man or woman, LBG or T, and romance your way through the world of the Chrono series! We're going to code a new, never-before-seen COMBO SYSTEM that'll let you pair with anyone in the series, as many as you want! Go monogamy or polyamory; the possibilities are insane! H-version will be released separately along with "Lucca's Lab" sexual minigames.
And then we've got a ltitle something planned for the arcades...
Ever wanted to hit the Wild West period of the Chronoverse? Hop into Amarillo Glenn's dusty shoes as he cleans up the town of San Dorino while it's being swallowed by Retinite and the central Zenan desert. Monsters and malcontents abound in this tumbleweed-strewn wasteland. Can you save the princess?! In an unprecedented move, a digital instruction manual will be welded to each arcade cabinet in case you need help navigating all 7 forts. This game will feature voice acting from several old bit players in Westerns, and a customizable clothing option drawing from several movies and TV shows, from Sergio Leone to Bonanza! Yeehaw!
Now, we're at the bigtime. Everything's been leading up to this. It's...
YES!!!!!!!!!! What we've all been waiting for since 1995! This isn't an animated adaptation; this is going to be a true fucking film™ with live-action and cutting-edge special effects! We're working hard on contacting Andy Serkis to play the part of Frog. We'll have more surprises in store as production continues! And be on the lookout for a special cameo in Truce: ME!!!!
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This will be the greatest Chrono revival in history. We're going to fucking CREATE a market. The Chrono series will never die. I'm not putting this on the front page, since I don't want to push everything else down and none of this is actually finished yet, but prepare yourself. 2012 will be an incredible year.
