Firstly, thank you all for your insightful responses. This has certainly given me a lot to think about, and I appreciate you taking your time to respond.
I knew about submissive / dominating fantasies. Many people I know have those fantasies and (most interestingly), many of my friends who were raped have rape fantasies. I'm not a psychiatrist, nor do I study this, but among the people I know who were abused (and I know many), the vast majority of them have admitted to indulging in rape fantasies. It disturbs and horrifies them because it makes them feel like they secretly wanted to be abused.
Obviously rape fantasies are--as J said--just fantasies. No one TRULY wants to be raped. Indulging in a rape fantasy isn't a cry to be abused. It is a fantasy, and in all fantasies you are ultimately in control. Based on what friends have told me, I think that rape fantasies are mostly about lust, that someone is so attracted to them that they cannot stop themselves from raping them. Which is, of course, not what actual rape is about at all. Rape is about power, or control, or anger, or sadism, or all four. It is not about sexual attraction. It is not about sex. Rape fantasies are about lustful, violent sex. Actual rape is about rape.
I wonder if rape survivors fantasize about rape because to them rape is the norm, and that is what sex is like. I have to admit (and feel free to judge me if you wish; I know I certainly judge myself) that I fantasized about being raped when I was around 13. This was after I had been abused for the first time, since I was raped when I was 9.
And I think it was because I thought that was what sex was supposed to be. That was the only kind of "sex" I had experienced. To me violent, non-consensual sex was the only kind of sex there was, because that was the only kind of "sex" I knew. And, like my friends, it disturbed me that I had that fantasy because it twisted my mind into believe that on some kind of subconscious level I wanted, or even enjoyed, being raped as a child.
I don't think it's just women -- I've read rather, I guess, "interesting" comments about men's yearning for Casey Anthony while she was still in the news too.
Thank you for bringing that up. I knew it was both men and women who express romantic interest in convicts, but for some reason didn't write that in my original comment.
In both of those cases, the elements of fame and physical attractiveness were in play though -- it's even more creepy that your readers were basing their feelings entirely on description, where the visual reaction and element of fame are absent.
I've described what he looks like (and he does have an uncanny resemblance to an actor) and he was "famous" in his own way--in that he was the head of an extremely large trafficking cell. I suppose he would be kind of like the trafficking equivalent of someone like the Godfather. But regardless, I understand what you're saying and do think it is very creepy, considering that they haven't seen him and considering that he isn't in the public eye.
This reminds me of when I read Hannibal (the sequel to Silence of the Lambs). Clarice, after being drugged and brainwashed into thinking she's Lecter's sister, comes to her senses.... and goes on the run with Hannibal Lecter as her new lover (and she's supposedly completely sane). What the everliving fuck? The novel's ending generated a lot of controversy, and even the film adaptation completely changed the ending to avoid controversy. I am hopeful that because there was such an outcry about it means that the majority of the public considers these kinds of things unacceptable.
That profoundly disturbed me as well. I never read the novel, but I read a synopsis somewhere. I wonder why the author thought that was an appropriate ending.
As for being a lover af violence, even if the act seems abhorent to you, I can actually relate to how Jeff feels here (but I certainly wouldn't say that he's in any way "misunderstood", because his feelings and visions are an artistic privilege, not a social one). Not only have I lived the life of both a genius and a fool, but also that of a bully and the victim. I know the horrors of being dominated, but I also know the pleasures of dominating. I have a rare skill to be able to gape into the heart of someone else and read their emotions, but I can also go a step further by influencing myself and temporarily become them, so I took a bit to meditate on that, invoked similar emotions as you've pointed and began to think in a similar manner. Because I'm getting a second-hand opinion (i.e., from you) my assessment may be off, but I made sure to take notes.
I'm not exactly sure I understand you. Nothing you said (sometimes being a fool or a victim or being dominated or the ability to someone become someone else) is like Jeff at all. Now, I don't know much about his past, but I do know that he has never been a victim or dominated, nor has he been a fool (if you're using "fool" as an antonym for intelligent). And he does not have the ability to think like another person; the thought of it would disgust him. He is not normal--he does not experience any kind of emotion. He can certainly get into someone else's head, though. Despite not having any emotion, he was an expert at reading people and figuring out their weaknesses and fears. I saw him figure out the way someone's mind worked in minutes.
Perhaps I am misunderstanding you, so let me know if I did.
In that regard, yes, I also admire the version of "Jeff" you pointed out in this thread, but I still see no reason to respect him or approve of his methods and fetishes.
What aspects of him do you admire?
