Author Topic: Personality Discussion and Advice  (Read 4716 times)

Radical_Dreamer

  • Entity
  • Zurvan Surfer (+2500)
  • *
  • Posts: 2778
    • View Profile
    • The Chrono Compendium
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #15 on: November 29, 2011, 12:49:56 pm »
Here's the thing though. When I look at the issues facing the world generally, and America more specifically, it leaves little room for believing that on the balance, people are at an even tolerable moral state.

Why are we still having to fight for abortion access? Why are we still having to fight homophobia? Why are we still having to fight racism? Why are we still having to fight misogyny?

I chose these, but there are many other issues facing us that are likewise trivial ethical issues. There is no ethical case to be made for denying women abortion access. There is no ethical case to treat non-heterosexuals as second class citizens. There is no ethical case for BELIEVING in biological race. There is no ethical case for treating women as second class human beings.

These are trivial, obvious ethical questions, and we as a society have to fight tooth and nail to progress, because there is a sufficiently large portion of the population that still clings to backwards notions of how the world works.

And I've lost the will to try to raise people's consciousness. Or rather, I've lost the belief that it is something possible to do en masse. If I meet someone who is a bigot, who is a theocrat, who works for the TSA, who suffers from any other large ethical deficiency, I'm much more willing to right them off as irredeemable. And I'm not happy with being in that state. I want to believe that humanity can grow much more than I give it credit for. We've done amazing things. I know I harp on about this, but we put a man on the moon. We are capable of so much, yet large swaths of us don't even strive for mediocrity. What a fucking waste.

Lord J Esq

  • Moon Stone J
  • Hero of Time (+5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 5463
  • ^_^ "Ayla teach at college level!!"
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2011, 11:18:06 pm »
The human world is a lot bigger than us, and bigger than our own frustrations with it. The flaws in our species are older than Civilization itself, going back all the way to the time when they weren't flaws but simply the heritage of evolution in an unthinking species. With the power of volition arose civilized forms of all our animal instincts, and among these came the great evil institutions of sexism, racism, and so forth. Ideas, once fomented, and institutions, once established, are supremely difficult to wipe out. The human condition--because of its nature and the subsequent edifices we have built to affirm our nature--not only contains a great capacity for doing evil, but perhaps an even greater capacity for receiving the evil of others without defiance. So not only is it that many people inflict evil thoughtlessly or even deliberately, but many others when faced with this injustice will "roll over and take it," a saying that originates from the act of submitting to rape--one of the ultimate examples of people's ability to inflict and accept evil. The people of our species, far from being guided by the light of a benevolent deity, have nothing more to rely upon than their own instincts, the social norms around them, the commands of authority, and the haphazard capacity for critical thinking. It is no wonder at all that we are still in such a sorry state, especially given how new and recent our civil liberties and material comforts are.

What you are lamenting is the cruel fact that many people alive right now do not deserve to live, and many more simply have not earned any appreciable worth as individuals. What you are seeing is that many people alive right now will tolerate, condone, affirm, and promote the acts of evil which you so despise, even when their acquiescence harms them directly, either because they are too stupid, too beholden, or too afraid to know anything better.

If you focus only on that, it will swallow you. It will destroy you, turn you into a misanthrope, embitter you, dash your dreams, even corrupt you into the evil personages you so despise. You have a lot more life to live yet, if all goes well, and as you age your body will begin to fade and society will leave you and your tropes and traditions behind in favor of those of the coming generations. You will be vulnerable, and the frustrations you were unable to confront and subdue in your youth will become like a prison to you.

You must accept what the world is, what our species is, without letting the greater flaws of our nature and the injustices of the present day bring you to despair or wrath.

Once again I return to the observation that the human world is bigger than us individually, and there are many excellent things in it. There are wonderful people, who possess wisdom and power and wield them together to achieve greatness for themselves and our species. They enrich the opportunities of others, lift up the minds of those whose imaginations have nowhere to go. They bring us the delights of the senses, and the pleasures of the body, and all the treats of the thinking brain. These people have always existed, in all societies, all sexes, all skin colors, all ages, and even among right-handers...and they always will. Curiosity, imagination, ambition, intelligence, ethics, compassion, and discipline are as much a part of our heritage as rape and religious faith.

Look for those people in your life, and revive your energy in their example. They have their problems too, as you have yours, but if you take the time to seek out the cultures and persons who have done right by our Civilization, then you will be able to easily remember them in your times of need, and both their problems and yours will become surmountable, and you will be like the ones you admire...and others will look to you, and be refreshed.

Take comfort in the fact that humanity will get by without you. It does not all rest upon your shoulders. And if all else fails and our species comes to naught, the Earth will be habitable to life as we know it for probably another billion years--which is as long an era as the one behind us which saw the rise of all complex life. The web of life on this world will have another opportunity, if we fail, and such matters are none of our concern anyhow. Humanity has its chance now, and you have the sense and privilege to be a part of making good on that chance. Don't give up on it.

To that end, you face the same decision that I do. You do not have to assume responsibility for the entire species. It is a noble ambition, but impractical...and you need to gather immense power to do it, and the power does not dwell in the places where we might think it should. Whose actions have made the most difference in our lives? In almost any occupation, you can work toward a better society directly, by creating works and fleshing out truths that will guide us from our feral births toward a more golden future, and by taking power over others and holding yourself responsible for them. It's called leadership. But it's hard, and it breaks or exhausts many people who try.

Or, instead, you don't have to be a leader. You can focus on cultivating excellence in your own life and in those around you who have the will for it. You needn't burden yourself with directing the lives of others. You can live to pursue your own personal self-betterment. Such actions often end up improving the society anyway, and your civil responsibilities can still be discharged by voting, reading the news, and discussing the issues with your peers. And you can indulge in following the leaders who deserve your allegiance, by heeding their examples, aiding their cause, and supporting them with your individuality.

I don't actually know that becoming a leader is better than the alternative. There is so much wretchedness in our species that perhaps some people cannot be led to their benefit. Perhaps some people can only be ruled, and if so then why do we concern ourselves with them at all? So that they may live out their miseries in comfort? That is the burden of a society, not of individuals. There are many humans who don't want to become better people, many others who do not know what "better" truly even means, and others still who are incapable of self-betterment: the irredeemable.

They are not so great a proportion of our species, you know. And most of them were reduced to that state by their society and cultures, and not by genes alone. Thus, very few children are among the irredeemable, and we need to remember that. Iredeemability is a renewable curse. All the irredeemable people in the world right now will die soon enough. We should concern ourselves with not replacing them so readily.

You have a choice to make, and many opportunities ahead of you either way. You don't have to try and be responsible for others, but you can choose to try anyway. Either way, remember that the wider world is not just the crime and iniquity which so burdens our ethical consciences. If this species were a dead end, you wouldn't be here at all.

Sajainta

  • Survivor of the Darkness
  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2004
  • Reporting live from Purgatory.
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #17 on: November 29, 2011, 11:36:59 pm »
Heh, some people here feel in the minority because they're Christian but I think I'm the only misanthrope on the board.  I just mostly keep my pessimism to myself.

/off topic

tushantin

  • CC:DBT Dream Team
  • Hero of Time (+5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 5645
  • Under Your Moonlight, Stealing Your Stars
    • View Profile
    • My Website
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2011, 01:57:24 am »
Heh, some people here feel in the minority because they're Christian but I think I'm the only misanthrope on the board.
But don't ya like hoo-mons? Ya know, Voltaire? Or Matt Smith? XD

Also, pessimism isn't a bad thing.

Sajainta

  • Survivor of the Darkness
  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2004
  • Reporting live from Purgatory.
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2011, 02:41:31 am »
But don't ya like hoo-mons?

Nope.  That's the basic definition of a misanthrope.

Manly Man

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 389
  • Don't be a pussy. She looks legit.
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #20 on: November 30, 2011, 02:42:11 am »
Also, pessimism isn't a bad thing.

But, everything is also best in moderation.

tushantin

  • CC:DBT Dream Team
  • Hero of Time (+5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 5645
  • Under Your Moonlight, Stealing Your Stars
    • View Profile
    • My Website
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2011, 02:59:37 am »
But, everything is also best in moderation.
Haha, you speak my language!

Nope.  That's the basic definition of a misanthrope.
:( You... you dislike me too? *hides the cookies*

Sajainta

  • Survivor of the Darkness
  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2004
  • Reporting live from Purgatory.
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2011, 03:20:48 am »
Nope.  That's the basic definition of a misanthrope.
:( You... you dislike me too? *hides the cookies*

Hate to say it, but do you honestly expect me to feel differently?  I'll be cordial to you but no, based on past run-ins and things you have said to me I don't particularly like you.  I'm very wary of anything you say and I keep my distance.  I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I'm not sorry for the way I feel.

...

To keep this on-topic:  I've been described as intimidating and difficult to approach, which baffles me.  I know I'm a very intense person IRL, but I'm also very shy, skiddish, and just...awkward.  Like "I'm fiddling with my Chapstick in the corner of the room because I don't know how to interact with people at this party without making them think I'm seriously weird" awkward.  I'm not sure what makes me "intimidating" or "unapproachable", but it does upset me because it's probably cost me friendships.

tushantin

  • CC:DBT Dream Team
  • Hero of Time (+5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 5645
  • Under Your Moonlight, Stealing Your Stars
    • View Profile
    • My Website
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2011, 04:14:15 am »
My personality problem:

Every time I see something incredibly amazing, every time I need to describe it, every time I want to share what I see and think... I just have no words for it. I know what I need to say, but I don't know how to say it. I know how a person is, but I don't know the right words to describe him/her. I know what my feelings and opinions are, but I can't express is.

It is as if I was born without a mouth.

Language is my enemy. Though I became a poet to try and embrace it, it keeps running away from me. And hence, communication itself forsaken me. And hence I'm left abandoned by everything and everyone.

I may as well cut my tongue and toss it away before I do more harm than good.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2011, 04:15:51 am by tushantin »

Lord J Esq

  • Moon Stone J
  • Hero of Time (+5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 5463
  • ^_^ "Ayla teach at college level!!"
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2011, 04:24:15 am »
I have encountered all my life those who say they do not have the words to convey what they want to say. As a writer, I have never accepted that excuse. Language derives from our desire to express ourselves. By definition there is nothing within our experience that cannot be expressed through language. It can be very difficult. It can require that you make new words, or unearth old ones, or broaden your entire understanding of the language. The first step is to express yourself to your satisfaction. Then you can spend the rest of your life expressing yourself so that more others understand you.

Alternatively, you can compose music, or create drawings, or perform dances...all of these are expressive.

Manly Man

  • Chronopolitan (+300)
  • *
  • Posts: 389
  • Don't be a pussy. She looks legit.
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2011, 04:29:25 am »
Well Saj, something that I've found to be helpful is to actually get up. Hang around your friends and the groups they make. You don't have to actually draw attention to yourself, and if your own posse happens to be one that gives off more positive vibes, whatever people find intimidating will fade away. It may come slowly, but it works. It has for me.

Also, Tush, I think I know how you feel. J here can confirm this, but whenever I try to explain how I feel or reason towards a more complicated subject, I have a tendency to, somehow, end up contradicting myself. I've got a bit of difficulty as well when it comes to expression through words as well. I've also got a tendency to insult people on accident, something along the lines of "That turtleneck looks wonderful, it hides your double chin." The results of the latter are mixed, as there have been times where it's been found hilarious.

tushantin

  • CC:DBT Dream Team
  • Hero of Time (+5000)
  • *
  • Posts: 5645
  • Under Your Moonlight, Stealing Your Stars
    • View Profile
    • My Website
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2011, 04:43:50 am »
@Josh: If you think that is an excuse, then so be it. I won't try to justify or try to explain further.

@Manly Man: I was actually talking about my persistent Dyslexia which hinders my comprehension of language. Heaven's know that as a child I struggled hard to keep up with normal folks under the tutelage of my Islamic mentor, and at times I even gave up hope and simply wanted to run away, just disappear and never see anyone again. While I managed to curb my hindrance, it still problematic today. Writing a simple post, such as like this, or even reading something incredibly simple and short takes time. Even coming up with witty words take time for me, far longer than most normal folks who do it effortlessly. It's mentally exhausting for me.

When it comes to language, I actually observe methods and shapes to replicate "patterns" and use them, and hence why people think I'm either mimicking them or mocking them -- but for me, language is actually nothing more than a tool to communicate with, and it's incredibly difficult.

I don't think verbally, but I can try synthesize it with imagery. For instead, the words "My biggest enemy is Capitalism" comes from the vision of a young man with unkempt shirt walking a narrow ledge (in the middle of the garbage heap) and playing with a coin, and he looks up to his right, high above at the sky-scrapers, those wealthy men who have turned his home into mud-huts.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2011, 04:46:49 am by tushantin »

Thought

  • Guru of Time Emeritus
  • God of War (+3000)
  • *
  • Posts: 3426
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #27 on: November 30, 2011, 12:53:37 pm »
It is good that language escapes you, Tush. If you felt that you were always expressing yourself rightly, then there would be no motivation to improve! Do the best you can, and then, do better.

If you complain about not having the words, but keep writing, then it is only a lament. But if you complain about not having the words, and stop writing, then it is an excuse. Don't want it to be an excuse? Then to your pen, to your pen!

But don't ya like hoo-mons?

Nope.  That's the basic definition of a misanthrope.

If you don't mind me asking (and if you do, please just ignore), does this extend to fictional characters as well? Hermoine, Rory, etc?

Synchronization

  • Porrean (+50)
  • *
  • Posts: 66
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #28 on: November 30, 2011, 07:46:10 pm »
1
« Last Edit: March 04, 2014, 07:46:02 pm by Synchronization »

Sajainta

  • Survivor of the Darkness
  • Radical Dreamer (+2000)
  • *
  • Posts: 2004
  • Reporting live from Purgatory.
    • View Profile
Re: Personality Discussion and Advice
« Reply #29 on: November 30, 2011, 07:51:58 pm »
If you don't mind me asking (and if you do, please just ignore), does this extend to fictional characters as well? Hermoine, Rory, etc?

I like certain characters, just as I like certain humans.

...Trying to figure out if your question is a trap or not.

I'm overly wary, probably bordering on slightly paranoid.  There's another personality flaw for ya.